DOOPLISSELLE KOOPA, GOOMBELLE, THE DRYEST BONES, AND KAMEK interview CACKLETTA

By Dooplisselle Koopa and The Dryest Bones

Dooplisselle: So... got any threes?

(Just then, The Dryest Bones and his interviewing team bust in.)

Dooplisselle: Ack! What did you do that for?!

The Dryest Bones: I felt like it.

Dooplisselle: Wonderful answer.

The Dryest Bones: I know!

Dooplisselle: I was being sarcastic.

Goombelle: Hey... I haven't done any Interviews yet! I wanna do one!

Dooplisselle: Too bad!

Goombelle: But DYoshi got to do one!

Dooplisselle: DYoshi is a freaky idiot that has no life.

DYoshi: Hey!

Dooplisselle: SILENCE SPELL!!!

(DYoshi explodes.)

Kamek: All right, since when did we wind up in another looney bin? The last one was more comfortable...

The Dryest Bones: So... what's a three?

Dooplisselle: No time for that! My next Interview is about to start!

Kamek: So... we do what now?

Dooplisselle: KAMEK! You interview with me!

Kamek: Why?

The Dryest Bones: RPG and Adventure laws clearly state...

Kamek: THIS DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH RPGS, ADVENTURES, OR CRAZY KOOPA!

The Dryest Bones: Oh... Well then, because I'll pay you with this shiny three-dollar bill.

The camera suddenly turns widescreen.

Kamek: *twitch* I'll do it!

Dooplisselle: ... What? Ok, who are we interviewing?

Goombelle: YOU WILL LET ME INTERVIEW OR ELSE!!!

Dooplisselle: Fine! Now who are we interviewing?

DYoshi: I HAVE TO GO!!!

Dooplisselle: ARGH!!! WHO ARE WE INTERVIEWING?!

The Dryest Bones: Fine, Ms. Bossy! We are interviewing...

Mario: SPECIAL NEWSFLASH!! My name is spelled: M-A-R-E-E-O!!!

Dooplisselle: AHHHHHHHHHH!!! WHO ARE WE INTERVIEWING?!

Suddenly, Bowser enters the room.

Bowser: Uh... Do you have something that could, say, destroy a red-garbed plumber that likes jumping?

The Dryest Bones: In the broom closet to the right, second shelf, fourth item from the left, or in this little hole that's supposed to be my ear.

Bowser: Thanks!

Bowser takes a small machine from the hole in The Dryest Bones, and leaves.

Dooplisselle: How do you know what my studio looks like?

The Dryest Bones: Um... OH, LOOK! CACKLETTA!

Dooplisselle: The last time I fell for that, I turned around and was mauled by a Pianta for "not saying hi" or something!

Cackletta: Eyhahahaha! Oh, I dare think you're dumb.

Kamek: Which one?

Cackletta: You know, I never really thought of that. Anyway, I'm here for an Interview.

Dooplisselle: WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?!

The Dryest Bones: Well, we thought you already looked at the title...

(Dooplisselle looks at the title.)

Dooplisselle: Darn! Curse you, Author.

TOO BAD!

Dooplisselle: Wow. This is the second interviewee I'm forced to interview that I hate.

Audience: Uh... You never should've said that.

Dooplisselle: What? Is the interviewee going to kill me?

Audience: Turn around...

(Dooplisselle turns around.)

Dooplisselle: Uh... hi?

Cackletta: Hi Dooplisselle. Don't worry, I already killed Pianta. AND I SHALL CONSUME YOU! But, after the Interview.

Kamek: Um... Are we ever even going to START the Interview?

Goombelle: YEAH! START!

Lemmy: Seriously, LONGEST... INTRO... EVER!

The Dryest Bones: FINE! Ugly witch-thing! What exactly are you?

Cackletta: A Beanish person, duh.

The Dryest Bones: I meant, why you are so much taller than the ordinary Beanish?

Cackletta: The dark side of the bean offers many abilities some consider... unnatural.

The Dryest Bones: AHHH! STAR WARS QUOTE! IT BURNS!

Cackletta: I was small and I made myself big with magic. Yeah... that's all.

Dooplisselle: Heh... Why are you ugly?

(Cackletta shocks Dooplisselle 5 times.)

Dooplisselle: Aw... We never got an answer! Okay, is it true that you and the Shadow Queen are RELATED?!

Cackletta: No.

Dooplisselle: Hmm?

Goombelle: But according to Lemmy's Land Fun Fiction, you are.

(Silence. The camera shows outside of the studio. There is a loud "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" Back in the studio, Dooplisselle is covering her ears.)

Goombelle: And according to that, too, Queen Bean's your sister.

(There is a louder "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!")

Goombelle: And according-

Dooplisselle: Ok! 'Nuff said!

(Dooplisselle covers Goombelle's mouth with tape.)

Kamek: … And I thought my family was strange!

Cackletta: (crying) IT'S NOT TRUE!

Kamek: (Freak.) All right, so, exactly how did you figure out the whole plan to takeover the world with the Beanstar?

Cackletta: I studied a *sob* secret, ancient text hidden deep within Hoohoo Mountain that told me of the Beanstar. And then *sob* I saw some graffiti next to it that told me about Peach.

The Dryest Bones: Graffiti, the writing of the people... or a certain annoying whelp!

Bowser Junior: *gulp*

The Dryest Bones: So... why do you always have that annoying laugh, even when something goes wrong or when you lose against the Marios?

Cackletta: I'd rather not answer that question. Eyahahahahahaha!

The Dryest Bones: All right... FLASHBACK TIME!

Cackletta: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

A flashback appears showing Cackletta being tickled by Beanish people, a Koopa Troopa, and red and green Toads, breaking her vocal chords and making her laugh almost every time she speaks.

Everyone but The Dryest Bones: 0.0

The Dryest Bones: YAY! THAT WAS FUN!

Cackletta: YOU WERE THE KOOPA TROOPA?!

The Dryest Bones: Actually, I'm the buddy of the cousin of the uncle of the spirit of the dad of that Koopa Troopa.

Jojoria: My lin... I mean, hello lawsuit!

Dooplisselle: Okay... Audience questions! Seat OHNONOTANOTHERTALKINGSEATGAG!

Talking Seat: HA!!! I shall rule the world!

Dooplisselle: Wrong seat. Seat NEESHEETEEP!

Mario: NEE, SHEET EEP!!!

DYoshi's Ghost: Hey!

Dooplisselle: Anyone with a real question?!

Goombelle: MMMM! MMMM! MMMMMMMMMMMM! (Maybe if you can rip this tape off, I can call a reasonable seat!)

(Dooplisselle does so.)

Goombelle: HA! Seat SPAMMEROFBOOMANSION.

King Red Boo: HA! I have chased you all the way from Boo mansion!

Dooplisselle: Goombelle, you said you would call a reasonable seat!

King Red Boo: I am. Now, if you excuse me, I must continue my quest to spam all forums and steal all sprites.

(He leaves.)

Booton: Where'd he come from?!

Dooplisselle: All of the people from Boo mansion aren't allowed to ask anything. Seat DUPLIGHOST.

Doopliss: Hey, why'd you pick Fawful to be your servant?

Cackletta: Because he was the only one left. I'm looking for a new servant, so anyone interested, call 1-800-I'm-serving-Cackletta-because-I-have-no-life.

Dooplisselle: Okay, here's a good servant!

(She gives King Red Boo tied up and gagged to Cackletta.)

King Red Boo: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPH!!! (No! I don't wanna die! There are so many more sprites I can steal! So many forums I can spam!)

Cackletta: Neat!

The Dryest Bones: Seat WHYIAMHEREWILLBEAMYSTERYTOALLEXCEPTTHEPERSONWHOSENTME HEREWHOMAYBETHEDRYESTBONES!

Smokey: YAY! Longest seat name ever! Anyway, what's with the "scary face" thing that makes you a lot bigger?

Cackletta: Well, it's a combination of anger and indigestion of Mega Mushrooms that don't usually affect me.

Kamek: Seat DUEL!

Kammy: I challenge you to a duel, Kamek!

Kamek: Fine. I play Exodia. I win!

Kammy: NOT THE STUPID YU-GI-OH THING!

Dooplisselle: You're getting on my nerves!

Dooplisselle points her hand at Kammy, who randomly explodes?

Goombelle: YAY! MY TURN TO SPEAK! I LIKE SPEAKING!

The Dryest Bones: SHUT UP or I'll do to you what I did to Morton.

Goombelle: What was that?

Kamek: You don't wanna know.

Goombelle: S-s-seat F-F-OURTYTHREE!

43: I'm the first number to talk ever! YEAH! How do you control lightning, Cackletta?

Cackletta: Years of practice! And... I had Lakithunder working thunderclouds.

Lakithunder: SLAVEDRIVER!

Cackletta: I hate you...

Dooplisselle: Seat GREENCOOLDINOSAUR.

Yoshi: How old are you?

Cackletta; Um, I'd rather not tell you.

Dooplisselle: YOU SHALL TELL US OR DIE!!!

(Cackletta now looks like an ant.)

Cackletta: Eep! I'm 90...

Everyone: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Goombelle: Seat MACHO!

Macho Grubba: Did you ever challenge anyone to a fight?

Cackletta: Yep. I challenged Mario once.

Grubba: What did he say?

Cackletta: "CHEESE!"

Dooplisselle: Figures.

Goombelle: Seat OVERRATEDKOOPA.

Lemmy: Did- HEY!!! I WANT A BETTER SEAT!

Dooplisselle: TOO BAD!!!

Lemmy: Did you know that Fawful is more popular than you?

Dooplisselle: Oh DAD-

Cackletta: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

Dooplisselle: No.

The Dryest bones: Seat TALKTALKTALKTALK...

Morton: Why, how come, do you, Cackletta, have a short, small, not long temper?

Cackletta: It runs in my family.

The Dryest Bones: Seat... NO! NO MORE SEATS! I'm done with seats!

The Dryest Bones destroys all of the seats in the studio.

Talking Seat: NOOO! YOU'RE MONKEY PEOPLE, ALL OF YOU!

Donkey Kong: I hate you...

Then, he replaces them all with benches.

The Dryest Bones: Much better!

Dooplisselle: 0.0

Kamek: Bench OVERRATEDDOLL!

Geno: I am really (name and address withheld), not Geno. Anyway, how big was your soul?

Cackletta: It was really about the size of Bowser's face. I just shrunk the Mario Bros. when they entered Bowletta.

Goombelle: BENCH OLDNINTENDOGUY!

Mr. Game & Watch: Beep!

Cackletta: I just gave Bowser a makeover when I entered his body. My soul can alter the shape of anyone it possesses!

Dooplisselle: Bench IWILLPWN!

L33T Broz: Y d0 u r1de da wEErd r0kin char?

Cackletta: There were no other models at the rocket chair store.

The Dryest Bones: Well, that's where I draw the line! This Interview is finished!

Dooplisselle: GET OUT!

The Dryest Bones: Wait for it...

Chuck randomly comes in on the Polishy Express. He runs over Cackletta, several benches, Goombelle, and half of the audience. Then, he picks up The Dryest Bones and Kamek.

Chuck: You are SO grounded for leaving the group.

The Dryest Bones: Sorry...

After the Interview…

Dooplisselle: Ugh... That was pointless...

Cackletta: I'm still going to kill you.

Dooplisselle: Aw man...

After a few shockings later...

At Cackletta's castle...

Cackletta: You shall now clean my castle.

King Red Boo: (holding cleaning stuff) But I wanna spam and steal sprites!

Cackletta: WHO CARES?! Every time you say "spam" and "steal sprites", I shall shock you.

King Red Boo: Shutting up.

(He gets to work on the castle.)

END TRANSMISSION

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