Before the Interview…

(King Doopliss and Co. are seen hiding in Grass Land.)

King Doopliss: This looks like a good place to hide from those hippies.

Ludwig: But-

King Doopliss: I didn’t ask for your opinion.

Cloaked Figure: Hey, do an Interview to pass the time.

King Doopliss: Well okay, but only because I’m bored.

Ludwig: But-

Cloaked Figure: Let’s interview a Piranha Plant.

King Doopliss: Sure.

Ludwig: But-

King Doopliss: What’s it with you and butts today, Ludwig?! Cloaked Figure bind, and gag him.

Cloaked Figure: Yay! I’m actually doing something.

(He binds and gags Ludwig.)

Ludwig: Mph.

Cloaked Figure: Miles per hour?

King Doopliss: Ignore him and go get a Piranha Plant.

Cloaked Figure: Okay.

(He leaves to get one.)

Ludwig: Mph?!

King Doopliss: We are going 0 miles per hour.

Ludwig: MPH!!!

King Doopliss: What do you mean “Mario Please Hurry!!!”?! You traitor!

(This continues for 2 hours. Then Cloaked Figure returns with a warp pipe on wheels.)

Cloaked Figure: Did I miss anything?

King Doopliss: Nothing important. So did you get a Piranha Plant?

Cloaked Figure: Yep. He’s in this pipe.

(As if on cue, the Piranha Plant comes out of the pipe.)

King Doopliss: Piranha Plant, do you know why you’re here?

Piranha Plant: Yes.

King Doopliss: Good, because I don’t.

Piranha Plant: … Aren’t I supposed to be interviewed now?

King Doopliss: Sure, whatever. First question, why do Piranha Plants keep going in and out of their pipes all day long even if Mario isn’t around?

Piranha Plant: Going in and out is how we keep in shape.

King Doopliss: When Mario or Luigi are standing on a pipe that a Piranha Plant is in, why don’t you come out and bite them?

Piranha Plant: Have you ever smelled their feet?

King Doopliss: No.

Piranha Plant: Well they smell really bad.

King Doopliss: Yeah, they probably do. How come in Yoshi’s Island and Yoshi’s Island DS, when a Piranha Plant eats a Yoshi they spit it back out after a few seconds?

Piranha Plant: It’s not for a lack of trying. It’s just they are far too big to eat whole.

King Doopliss: Hey Ludwig, now that I think of it, you should be lookout, to make sure those hippies don’t show up.

Ludwig: MPH?!

King Doopliss: I’ll take that as a yes. Back on track now, Piranha Plant, do colors mean anything?

Piranha Plant: No they don’t. Our colors vary from place to place so that we might be able to be camouflaged.

King Doopliss: Do Piranha Plants work for anyone?

Piranha Plant: Yes and no. Some work for Bowser but others are just free. But that doesn’t mean those who don’t work for him won’t attack Mario or his friends.

King Doopliss: And now Cloaked Figure will ask a question.

Cloaked Figure: If you could be a playable character in any Mario game series, which would it be?

Piranha Plant: Probably Mario Party. I hear they have good party favors.

King Doopliss: … Ok, Ludwig, ask a question.

Ludwig: MPH! MPH! MPH!

Piranha Plant: What do you mean “The hippies are coming! King Doopliss you’re an idiot! Hippies love nature and Grass Land is were they would most likely go!”? That doesn’t have anything to do with me whatsoever.

King Doopliss: Run!!!

(He and Cloaked Figure run away, leaving Piranha Plant and Ludwig at the mercy of the hippies.)

Piranha Plant: NOW GET OUT OF HERE!

Ludwig: MPH! (Hey! I was going to say that!)

Have an Interview or a suggestion of your own? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Interviews.
Go back to my main page.