KING DOOPLISS interviews BLOOPER

By King Doopliss

Before the Interview…

(King Doopliss, Ludwig, and Cloaked Figure all run into the studio and barricade the door shut.)

King Doopliss: I hate hippies!

Ludwig: What did you do to make them so mad?

King Doopliss: Burn all their granola bars.

(Cloaked Figure slaps King Doopliss.)

King Doopliss: Ouch. What was that for?

Cloaked Figure: I don’t know?

King Doopliss and Ludwig: …

King Doopliss: Well, while we are trapped in here ‘til those hippies leave, let’s do an Interview.

Ludwig: Who are we going to interview?

King Doopliss: That Blooper I’ve been keeping in that giant fish tank on the one side of the studio.

(Ludwig and Cloaked Figure look there, and see it’s huge.)

Ludwig: You know, you’d think we would have seen that before.

(King Doopliss fishes the Blooper out of the tank and puts in on the interviewee chair.)

Blooper: Don’t eat me!!!

King Doopliss: I won’t eat you. I just want to interview you.

Blooper: Okay.

Ludwig: What are we going to do for audience?

King Doopliss: You and Cloaked Figure will do. Let get started. How can Bloopers breathe out of water?

Blooper: We can’t. We can just hold our breath for a long time.

King Doopliss: That makes sense. Question two, how can some Bloopers fly if they don’t have wings?

Blooper: Well all a Blooper has to do to fly is keep shooting out air to keep moving upward.

King Doopliss: Can you do a demonstration?

Blooper: Sure.

(Blooper starts to fly all over the room, then sits back down.)

King Doopliss: That was okay, I guess. How come in Mario platformers Bloopers can’t touch Mario or Luigi when they are small and on the ground, or when they are crouching on the ground?

Blooper: Well when we are underwater there is a slight current that keeps us off of the ground. But it’s not strong enough to work on Luigi, and it surely can’t work on Mario.

King Doopliss: How do you feel about being a playable character in the upcoming Mario Party 8?

Blooper: It feels great! Finally I’ll get a chance to play some games. And I can’t wait for the party favors.

King Doopliss: Wait, they get party favors?

Blooper: Yeah. Why else would Boo, Wario, Waluigi, and Dry Bones want to participate?

King Doopliss: To play games.

Blooper: NO! Wario is so sick of all the parties. He says it’s the party favors that keeps him coming back.

King Doopliss: Why aren’t the party favors mentioned in the games at all?

Blooper: Because that’s how the characters get paid to do these parties.

King Doopliss: Well, time for the audience questions. Ludwig?

Ludwig: Why are some Bloopers pink?

Blooper: The pink coloration is a rare genetic mutation in Bloopers. It’s like the albino to Bloopers.

King Doopliss: I guess that makes sense. Cloaked Figure, ask a question.

Cloaked Figure: What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Blooper: I would open all the door to this studio, in fact.

(He opens all the doors.)

King Doopliss, Ludwig, and Cloaked Figure: Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!

(The hippies walk in and King Doopliss and Co. run away with the hippies on their trail.)

Blooper: That’s for not feeding me often. NOW GET OUT!

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