Nightmare: Do I have to?

Kody: Yes. You've not done a solo Interview yet.

Nightmare: Okay. Who?

Kody: Smorg.

Nightmare: Fine, but let me kill him afterwards.

Kody: Sure thing.

Nightmare: Good. Now then, bring him out.

Kody: Get someone else to do it; I have to have a talk with King Boo.

King Boo: YES! Finally!

(Kody and King Boo float outside and start talking)

Nightmare: Meta Knight, get the wretched creature in here.

Meta Knight: Okay.

(Suddenly a shower of little gray things pummel the interviewee chair and cluster together to form Smorg.)

Smorg: SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORG!!!

Nightmare: That didn't take long. Grrmph. So you're Smorg, hm?

Smorg: SMOOOORG.

Nightmare: That's an aye, I take it.

Meta Knight: I'll get the translator.

(Meta Knight digs into a pocket in his cape and pulls out a remote.)

Meta Knight: This ought to do the trick.

(Meta Knight presses a button on the remote, and Smorg is able to talk English, not just speak.)

Smorg: Pretty handy device you have there. Thanks.

Meta Knight: Got it from Kody, and he told me to have it.

Nightmare: Well whatever it was has allowed this Interview to be possible. Darn it… I mean, question one! What is a Smorg?

Smorg: Smorgs are creatures similar to Fuzzies, except that they have fur, not fuzz, and much more of it.

Nightmare: And what are you?

Smorg: A Smorg monster, made up of several smaller Smorgs.

Nightmare: And what are the regular Smorgs' stats?

Smorg: Only the red Smorgs can fight. They have 4 HP and 1 Defense. Their attacks differ from 1-4 depending on their health.

Nightmare: So the red Smorgs control you?

Smorg: You're talking to a red Smorg! Just inside the Smorg monster.

Nightmare: Grrmph. So why'd you attack the switch in Riverside Station?

Smorg: Those were the smaller Smorgs, not me. I was already on the train.

Nightmare: You attacked the train because…?

Smorg: I wanted to! It looked so cool… and it was shiny! I like shiny!

Random Elf: SHINY!!!

Nightmare: Elves? I thought Lord of the Rings characters weren’t allowed on Plit.

Mark: Actually that’s one of my friends.

Lemmy: Aw.

(Lemmy lowers his pitchfork and torch.)

Nightmare: Now then, how are you able to form Miasmas?

Smorg: It’s our doing, us red Smorgs. We’re the brains of the operation– I mean, creature.

Nightmare: The only time anybody saw any red Smorgs was during the battle, and right afterwards. Why didn’t you appear where the switch was?

Smorg: We were hidden by the normal Smorgs.

Nightmare: Cowards.

Smorg: We’re not cowards!

Nightmare: Yeah, you keep telling yourselves that. Anyway, let’s keep this show on the road so I can get outta here after. Why haven’t you appeared in any other Mario game?

Smorg: Kammy created us just recently.

Nightmare: How?

Smorg: She created us using flower petals from Boggly Woods.

Nightmare: Flower petals?!

Smorg: Yes.

Nightmare: But what about the red Smorgs?

Smorg: We red Smorgs were created by flowers far behind the Great Boggly Tree– no one playing the game could see them. They’re similar to roses.

Nightmare: *retch*

Talim (at the same time): That would explain why it smells so nice in here. ^_^

Dark Koopa: Ew, text emotes.

Talim: What? I like them.

Dark Koopa: Well, I don’t.

Talim: And I do.

Dark Koopa: I don’t.

Talim: I do.

Dark Koopa: I don’t.

Talim: I do.

Dark Koopa: I don’t.

Nightmare: So?

(Beldam explodes.)

Dark Koopa: That was completely non-sensical.

Nightmare: I don’t care. Anyway, let’s move on to audience questions. Seat DUMMY.

Glumph: WHO NAME SEATS?

Nightmare: I did. ASK A QUESTION!

Glumph: GLUMPH WANT KNOW HOW YOU GET CLAW.

Smorg: Idiot. Smorg Miasmas can form many objects. A claw is but one of many forms we can assume.

Nightmare: Hmm. Seat WEAKLING.

Microgoomba: How come you can’t be damaged if you’ve got miasmas around you?

Smorg: They form an invisible force field around the main Smorg cluster. It’s impossible to see except by us.

Microgoomba: How do you see it?

Smorg: We form our own contact lens.

Nightmare: I’m having second thoughts about killing this guy. Seat ILIKEPIE.

Rudy the Clown: You said to Glumph that you can’t be damaged if you have miasmas around you. But you had some grabbing onto the train, and you got damaged when only some of your miasmas were gone. Why?

Smorg: Well if there’s a large part of the cluster sticking out then of course we’re going to get damaged!

Nightmare: Seat UNKNOWN.

???: YOU!

Nightmare: Huh?

(??? reveals himself to be Siegfried.)

Nightmare: YOU!

Siegfried: It’s time for you to fall!

(Siegfried swings his sword at Nightmare.)

Nightmare: Here we go again… DIE!

(Nightmare and Siegfried have a huge swordfight which carries to outside.)

Smorg: Um, what just happened?

Talim: You don’t wanna know.

Smorg: Okay.

(King Boo floats in through a wall, two times as big as before.)

King Boo: Woot! … I mean BLAAAAAAARGH!!!

Audience: AHHHHHHH!!!

(The audience runs away.)

Kody: And thanks to King Boo I have this awesome red musketeer’s hat!

Talim: It looks good on you… for a ghost.

Kody: Thanks… Aw great, what happened to my audience?

King Boo: I scared them off.

Kody: Is the Interview over?

Smorg: I’ve been interviewed almost to death, so I’d say yes.

Kody: That’s all right then. Someone end the show.

(Taki strums a guitar.)

Taki: I’m going to be the next Eric Clapton.

Smorg: Who?

Kody: Somebody… I don’t know who… Anyway, end transmission.

(Smorg eats the camera.)

Kody: That has got to stop…

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