DIXIE KONG, STINKOMAN, AND LOCKJAW POOCH interview BABY DONKEY KONG

By Luigi_Ownz

Lemmy: Today, we will be interviewing Baby Donkey Kong!

Mivera: Uh… Dear, Donkey Kong Jr. was already interviewed.

Lemmy: I know, but that was DK in his YOUNGER younger days!

Mivera: What are you implying there?

Lemmy: Well, I did some history research, and it says the lifestyle of an ape on Plit is baby, then kid, then adult, then old geezer.

Mivera: Makes sense to me! Stinkoman, read us the third interviewer!

Stinkoman: It is from… Seat DIEDYETWASREVIVED!

Lockjaw: That’s me!

(Lockjaw leaps down onto the set.)

Lockjaw: Now, who’s the poor sap we’re interviewing?

Lemmy: I just told you a few seconds ago! Baby Donkey Kong!

Dixie: Lemmy, DK Jr. was alrea-

Lemmy: I KNOW! Just bring him in!

(Baby Donkey Kong crawls onto the stage.)

Dixie: Ok, first off, why do you wear a bib?

Baby DK: The stork made it for me. He said it was a symbol for who I am.

Stinkoman: Odd. Who are your parents?

Baby DK: Donkey Kong Sr. and Perky Kong!

Lockjaw: (to Dixie) Whose Perky Kong?

Dixie: It was Wrinkly Kong before she got old.

Lockjaw: OH! Well, anyway, how old are you?

DK: 2 years.

Dixie: Who are your friends?

Baby DK: Baby Mario, Baby Peach, Yoshi, and even Baby Wario! I also like this small chimp I found outside my house not too long ago. Daddy says he’s my nephew.

Stinkoman: How you can be an uncle if you’re so young?

Baby DK: Because daddy said he was the son of his brother. He left me responsible for taking good care of him when I grow up, because his parents had to fight against the Kremlings.

Lockjaw: What is the baby chimp’s name?

Baby DK: I call him Diddy.

Dixie: I had a feeling. Anyway, seat EVIL!

Mermaid Man: EVIL?! WHERE?! EEEEEEEEVIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLL!!!

(Mermaid Man runs away)

Stinkoman: O…k. Seat FINGERLICKINGGOOD!

Colonel Sanders (Founder of KFC): Why are you so strong for a kid your age?

Baby DK: What?

Lockjaw: He means, “How do you hold onto those vines so hard?”

Baby DK: I grab them with my little fingers and pull my tummy forward. Then, WHEEEEEE!

Lockjaw: How very… odd…. Anyway, seat OVERWEIGHTFELINE!

Garfield: I’m not overweight! I’m big-boned! Anyway, what games are you in?

Baby DK: Only one so far, Yoshi’s Island DS.

Lockjaw: Well, I have to go. Dr. Kiln has to do some painful experiments, and I don’t want to miss any part of it!

Lemmy: TOUGH! First, you have to do the…

Audience: WHEEL… OF… PAIN!

Lockjaw: Uh oh!

Lemmy: Your fate shall be… Y’know what, I’ve got a better idea! Let’s Play Fetch!

Lockjaw: YAY!

Lemmy: See the stick...?

Stinkoman: Lemmy, that’s dynami-

Lemmy: SHUT UP! Anyway, fetch!

(Lockjaw runs after the stick of dynamite.)

Lemmy: Stupid, ain’t he! And 3… 2… 1…

(KA-BOOM!)

Dixie: Brilliant idea, Lemmy!

Lemmy: Thanks! See you all next time!

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