Lemmy: Today, we will be interviewing Baby Donkey Kong!
Mivera: Uh… Dear, Donkey Kong Jr. was already interviewed.
Lemmy: I know, but that was DK in his YOUNGER younger days!
Mivera: What are you implying there?
Lemmy: Well, I did some history research, and it says the lifestyle of an ape on Plit is baby, then kid, then adult, then old geezer.
Mivera: Makes sense to me! Stinkoman, read us the third interviewer!
Stinkoman: It is from… Seat DIEDYETWASREVIVED!
Lockjaw: That’s me!
(Lockjaw leaps down onto the set.)
Lockjaw: Now, who’s the poor sap we’re interviewing?
Lemmy: I just told you a few seconds ago! Baby Donkey Kong!
Dixie: Lemmy, DK Jr. was alrea-
Lemmy: I KNOW! Just bring him in!
(Baby Donkey Kong crawls onto the stage.)
Dixie: Ok, first off, why do you wear a bib?
Baby DK: The stork made it for me. He said it was a symbol for who I am.
Stinkoman: Odd. Who are your parents?
Baby DK: Donkey Kong Sr. and Perky Kong!
Lockjaw: (to Dixie) Whose Perky Kong?
Dixie: It was Wrinkly Kong before she got old.
Lockjaw: OH! Well, anyway, how old are you?
DK: 2 years.
Dixie: Who are your friends?
Baby DK: Baby Mario, Baby Peach, Yoshi, and even Baby Wario! I also like this small chimp I found outside my house not too long ago. Daddy says he’s my nephew.
Stinkoman: How you can be an uncle if you’re so young?
Baby DK: Because daddy said he was the son of his brother. He left me responsible for taking good care of him when I grow up, because his parents had to fight against the Kremlings.
Lockjaw: What is the baby chimp’s name?
Baby DK: I call him Diddy.
Dixie: I had a feeling. Anyway, seat EVIL!
Mermaid Man: EVIL?! WHERE?! EEEEEEEEVIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLL!!!
(Mermaid Man runs away)
Stinkoman: O…k. Seat FINGERLICKINGGOOD!
Colonel Sanders (Founder of KFC): Why are you so strong for a kid your age?
Baby DK: What?
Lockjaw: He means, “How do you hold onto those vines so hard?”
Baby DK: I grab them with my little fingers and pull my tummy forward. Then, WHEEEEEE!
Lockjaw: How very… odd…. Anyway, seat OVERWEIGHTFELINE!
Garfield: I’m not overweight! I’m big-boned! Anyway, what games are you in?
Baby DK: Only one so far, Yoshi’s Island DS.
Lockjaw: Well, I have to go. Dr. Kiln has to do some painful experiments, and I don’t want to miss any part of it!
Lemmy: TOUGH! First, you have to do the…
Audience: WHEEL… OF… PAIN!
Lockjaw: Uh oh!
Lemmy: Your fate shall be… Y’know what, I’ve got a better idea! Let’s Play Fetch!
Lockjaw: YAY!
Lemmy: See the stick...?
Stinkoman: Lemmy, that’s dynami-
Lemmy: SHUT UP! Anyway, fetch!
(Lockjaw runs after the stick of dynamite.)
Lemmy: Stupid, ain’t he! And 3… 2… 1…
(KA-BOOM!)
Dixie: Brilliant idea, Lemmy!
Lemmy: Thanks! See you all next time!
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