KING DOOPLISS interviews MACK

By King Doopliss

(King Doopliss and Co. are seen in the Creepy Steeple.)

Doopliss: Why are you all here?!

King Doopliss: Hiding from hippies.

Cloaked Figure: To steal your couch.

Ludwig: Being held against my will.

Lemmy: Making my first appearance since I got arrested.

Random Goomba: Came to annoy King Doopliss.

Doopliss: Why here though?!

King Doopliss: Because the hippies are waiting for me at my studio.

Cloaked Figure: Because your couch is comfortable.

Ludwig: Because I was forced to come.

Lemmy: Because King Doopliss needs to interview someone.

Random Goomba: Because Lemmy wanted an audience.

Doopliss: HATE!

Lemmy: King Doopliss, you must interview the next person to enter this room.

(Mack falls though the roof and lands on Ludwig, knocking him out.)

Mack: That’s the last time I jump out of an airplane without a parachute. At least someone cushioned my fall.

Lemmy: You’re interviewing someone with a name for once.

King Doopliss: At last someone that matters.

Mack: What’s he talking about?

King Doopliss: I’m interviewing you.

Mack: Why?

King Doopliss: Because I have nothing better to do.

Mack: …

King Doopliss: Ok, everyone, to your places.

Lemmy: You also need a camera guy now.

King Doopliss: Why?

Lemmy: Because the hippies destroyed the auto filmer 2000.

Doopliss: Well I’m going out to get some ice cream.

Lemmy: No you're not. You’re going to be the camera guy for this Interview.

Doopliss: Why me, and not you?

Lemmy: I’m a very busy guy, tourists always making me run in at the beginning of Interviews to say “Lemmy’s Interviews”. I also have a site to run.

(He walks out a window. Screams are heard, as well as a big thud.)

Doopliss: I shouldn’t have ever helped you guys.

King Doopliss: Let’s hurry this up. I’m almost off the second page and we haven’t asked Mack a single question yet.

Cloaked Figure: King Doopliss 10th Interview, ACTION!

King Doopliss: Hello and welcome to my very special 10th Interview. I’m your host, King Doopliss. Today I’ll be interviewing one of my favorite characters from Super Mario RPG, Mack, live at the Creepy Steeple.

Mack: Um, hello.

King Doopliss: Ok, first question, how come you’re a living sword?

Mack: When my master, Smithy, was having his high-ranking officers made, he based each of them on a weapon. It just so happened he made me a sword.

King Doopliss: Okay. Why do Shysters work for you?

Mack: Well the Shysters love to bounce. And that’s how I get around, by bouncing. So they decided to follow me.

King Doopliss: Can you elaborate on that more?

Mack: Well I was a better jumper than them all.

King Doopliss: I guess that makes sense. Why did you decide to attack the Mushroom Kingdom?

Mack: Well I heard it was defenseless so I thought it would be easy to takeover and keep under control. Little did I know Mario was on his way there.

King Doopliss: A likely excuse. What spells can you cast?

Mack: I can cast Flame and Fire Wall.

King Doopliss: Which leads me to my next question, how can a sword use fire?

Mack: Well when I was being made, Smithy enchanted me with a spell. I guess that spell was fire-based.

King Doopliss: Hey Cloaked Figure.

Cloaked Figure: Yeah?

King Doopliss: Ask a question.

Cloaked Figure: Um, how come every so often you would call four Shysters into battle, then next turn leave battle 'til the Shysters were no more?

Mack: My fire magic takes a lot out of me, so I was using that time to rest up.

Cloaked Figure: Ok, thanks.

King Doopliss: Time for audience questions. And since we only have a Goomba, he’ll ask the question.

Random Goomba: Mack, do you think you will ever appear in another non remake game?

Mack: Probably not, unless Smithy decides to attack again.

King Doopliss: Cameraguy, ask a question.

Doopliss: Why didn’t you just jump on Mario? I mean, you’re a sword for gosh sake.

Mack: You know, I never though of doing that.

King Doopliss: Yeah, that’s what they all say.

Mack: No they don’t.

King Doopliss: Silence, and now for a special event for my 10th Interview. Mack shall get to spin this prize wheel and we’ll see what happens.

(Mack spins it. It lands on Roy getting electrocuted like in Roy’s Sports Hall.)

In Bowser’s castle...

Roy: Hold still, loser. It's time for your daily beating again.

Larry: I wish you would get a taste of your own medicine.

(As if on cue, Roy gets electrocuted.)

Roy: BlagidiblagidiblagidiAGGGGG!

Larry: Thank you DAD!

Back at the Interview...

King Doopliss: Well we are all out of time. See you next time on King Doopliss Interviews. NOW GET OUT OF HERE!

(On cue, Ludwig gets up and tackles King Doopliss.)

Ludwig: I curse you and your creator for tormenting me!!!

King Doopliss: Security!

Cloaked Figure: I actually get to do something.

(He beats Ludwig up. Lemmy falls through a wall.)

Lemmy: What’s with the randomness?

Voice from above: Don’t ask me. I’m just the ceiling.

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