Rhonda: Hello, audience people. My name is Rhonda, and I'm a witch and Pura's mother. I also have hair. I'm sure you're all very jealous.

Audience: *sob*

Rhonda: Today I will be interviewing a Rex, but this is no ordinary Rex, for he also has hair.

Audience: *sob again*

(Coda enters. With hair. He's also a Rex but I think you knew that. Nah, probably not.)

Audience: *insert sobbing number three*

Rhonda: Hello. I already made the audience sad three times. I'm doing great.

Coda: A rousing fine start.

Rhonda: As much as I'd like to interview you about your amazing career, this mean card says I gotta interview you about your species.

Coda: What a pity. Buy my album.

Rhonda: Sure, and that surely won't be advertised throughout this Interview.

(Details on how to buy the album, including its name, some of the songs, and where and how to buy it scroll across the bottom of the screen.)

Rhonda: Anyway... first question. Where do Rex... or Rexes, if that's the plural form, come from?

Coda: Rex mummies and daddies.

Rhonda: I was told the stork... Actually, I meant, what areas do they generally reside at?

Coda: They originated in Dinosaur Land, if I'm not mistaken. Of course, they appear other places as well, just not as frequently.

Rhonda: I figured as much. What do they like to do when they're not running at Mario blindly just to get stomped on or something?

Coda: Play cards, go down to the pub... that sort of thing.

Rhonda: Coda, you're an alcholic, and that's very bad. Surely that must have some effect on your Rex...ness.

Coda: If anything, it increases it. Most Rexes are potted every waking hour.

Rhonda: Really now? Interesting. And what's the deal with that thing of being slightly squished when stomped on?

Coda: Elastic skin and cartilage and et cetera. It's a fairly useful evolutionary trait; Dinosaur Land is riddled with cliffs and high platforms, and since most Rexes are drunk all the times, they're prone to fall off of them all the time.

Rhonda: That would also explain the often lack of intellegence... Anyway, what about Dino Rhino and Reznor? They related to you guys?

Coda: Perhaps in the millenia past. In any case, you wouldn't find any of them at my family reunion.

Rhonda: Okay. Now for the sake of making things a bit amusing, you get to ask me stuff so that this Interview won't be short and smelly.

Coda: Rhonda, why do you enjoy torturing people?

Rhonda: I torture people?

Coda: In your own fashion.

Rhonda: Oh, come on. That Christmas Carol thing was just me having fun.

Coda: It was also me not having fun.

Rhonda: But it caused you to change your ways, right?

Coda: It caused me to change them to what they already were.

Rhonda: Eh, good enough. Now, it's time for audience questions, as it gives official characters that nobody likes brief screentime! Seat 108.

Petey Piranha: *obviously has a translator so people can understand that mess* Hey, how come Pura's so irritable, while you're so nice?

Rhonda: Haha, nobody likes you! I mean... Err, well, Pura normally isn't irritable, but look at who she works with. It speaks for itself. Now, kindly give questions for Coda.

Petey Piranha: What are the wings for?

Coda: Flapping around uselessly.

Rhonda: Useful. Seat 69.

(Snickering can be heard.)

Rhonda: Oh grow up.

Toadette: The Rex species is pretty physically powerful, right?

Coda: Well, relatively speaking.

Toadette: Can you lift and throw boulders and stuff like that?

Coda: I have better things to do with my time.

Toadette: Err, okay, but wouldn't a typical Rex trying to kill Mario do it?

Coda: Perhaps if he wasn't quite as drunk, that might occur to him.

Rhonda: It's probably also what made them attack Mario in the first place. That reminds me. Do they even work for Bowser?

Coda: I think so, but I'm sure the pay is lousy.

Rhonda: Which is another reason to drink, right?

Coda: It's a vicious cycle.

Rhonda: Okay... Now, who does everyone really hate? Oh, you. Seat 2.

Luigi: Hey, people like me!

Rhonda: Ooh, he's a comedian. Probably not a very good one if he's so hated, but a comedian nonetheless.

Luigi: I don't have to take this.

Rhonda: Fine, go. You're not supposed to be in the audience anyway. You have hair.

Audience: *sob number 4*

(Coda adds a tally mark.)

Rhonda: But first ask a question, pretty please with sprinkles on top.

Luigi: Fine. I see you're wearing a tuxedo. Do Rexes wear clothes, and how do they get them on?

Coda: They only wear clothes if they have any sense of class. And you're a grown man; you should know how people put clothes on.

Luigi: I mean with the wings and the bulk and things.

Coda: The clothes, if any are worn, are tailored to fit.

Rhonda: Right. Now we must explain to the viewers why we are here instead of our respective authors.

Coda: Metal couldn't be (bothered) enough to come.

Rhonda: As for my author, well, anything to get away from doing this... job, and he's still getting paid. Wait, he is? Getting paid for doing nothing? Oh, we'll see about that.

Coda: I ought to watch.

Rhonda: This will probably involve some wacky situation that the viewers won't get to see because it's irrevelant to the Interview, so for now, more questions. What do Rexes live in?

Coda: Hovels. Most of them squander their earnings on booze money. I, personally, live in a comfortable mansion. Also I have hair.

Audience: *sob number 5*

Rhonda: Do you know witchcraft?

Coda: Not in the slightest.

Rhonda: That is a shame. This next question says... Um, let's toss that one out.

(Rhonda throws away a card that mentions something about wedding cake.)

Rhonda: Next question is... what does your kind like to do for entertainment? Besides drinking, of course.

Coda: Oh, the usual as other species, I'd imagine. I know I can't speak for every Rex out there, but I enjoy music in my spare time.

Rhonda: Alrighty. The rest of these questions seem to be annoying fads, so I guess I'm out of questions. You have anything else you want to say?

Coda: Not particularly.

Rhonda: Okay then. Now, even though I volunteered to do this for free, I'm going to go demand some money.

Coda: You ought to. Aren't B-list celebrities above this show's usual budget?

Rhonda: Yes, and before I go, I have one last thing to say. Hair.

Audience: *SOB*

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