Lemmy: Hello, and welcome to a very special edition of Lemmy’s Interview Show! On this episode, we sent Dixie and Stinkoman on vacation, so I will be filling in! Also, we are wearing capes and eye-masks, for it is Superhero Day*!

*Superhero Day does not exist, nor will it. This is just a lame gag because the authors are running low on ideas.

Mivera: Not only that, a superhero is helping us interview!

Lemmy: Actually, dear, I asked all the superheroes, and they said…

Flashback…

Superman: NO!

Batman: NO!

Mr. Fantastic: NO!

Spider-Man: NO!

The Hulk: HULK SAYS NO!

Captain America: Yes… JUST KIDDING! NO!

Superman: Wasn’t I already asked?

Flashback over...

Lemmy: So, we can’t have a superhero interview. BUT THE SHOW MUST GO O-

(A big crash comes through the wall.)

???: There’s no need to fear…

Lemmy: Who’s there?

???: UNDERDOG IS HERE!

Lemmy: YOU?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! YOU’RE THE WORST SUPERHERO EVER! I MEAN, LOOK AT YOU! YOU’RE A DOG!

Mivera: Dear, keep calm. Remember your blood pressure.

Lemmy: Sorry, but still! He saves the day and whatnot, but leaves everything ruined. JUST LIKE THAT WALL HE JUST CRASHED THROUGH!

UnderDog: I’m only here because you said your desperate time of need, you needed a superhero to fulfill your deed.

Mivera: C’mon, dear! He’s the only superhero who agreed to help us!

Lemmy: Hmm… Can I cancel Superhero Day? ... Hmm… Probably not. You’re in! At least you’ll be harmed by the wheel of pain.

UnderDog: I must warn you, I’m as tough as a navy fleet, and my theme song has a great beat!

Lemmy: That’s probably why you’re here… Anyway, honey, who is the interviewee?

Mivera: Triclyde, from Mario Bros. 2!

(Triclyde squirms in.)

Lemmy: First off, what are your names?

Top Triclyde Head: Moe!

Left Triclyde Head: Curly!

Right Triclyde Head: Larry!

UnderDog: Hmmm… Sounds familiar… Anyway, what are your attacks?

Moe: We can spit fire, and burn Mario and his friends to a crisp!

Lemmy: Why are you red in the instruction booklet, but green in the game?

Curly: Nintendo gave us an awful paintjob before they published the game!

UnderDog: How can Mushroom Blocks harm you?

Larry: They’re hard as stone! REALLY! Poor Curly almost had a concussion!

Lemmy: Ok, Audience Question Time! Seat GETOFFOURISLAND!

Zappa Zappa Yow Yow Boyz: Which one of you is the leader?

All Triclyde Heads: ME!

Moe: What are you talking about? Mom liked me best!

Curly: Mom ain’t here! Besides, I’m the cutest one!

Larry: CUTE? YOU?! HA! You look like the behind of a baby seal!

Moe: You both are stupid!

Curly: Well, at least we don’t sleep with a pacifier!

(For no good reason, Tiger Woods falls on top of Triclyde.)

Tiger Woods: What am I doing here?

Lemmy: Doesn’t matter. UnderDog, time for the…

Audience: Wheel… of… Pain!

Lemmy: You will…

(Lemmy spins the wheel. It lands on a picture of a hundred-dollar bill.)

Lemmy: WHAT?! Somebody survived the Wheel of Pain?!

UnderDog: In your face, charlatan!

Lemmy: Here, take your $100. Now GET LOST!

UnderDog: Your request is one I can deeply do! But first, I want to give something to you!

Lemmy: Huh?

UnderDog: Here, take this gift. However, be sure not to-

(UnderDog hears a shriek of terror.)

UnderDog: When Polly’s in trouble, I am not slow. It’s hip, hip, hip, and away I go!

(UnderDog flies away.)

Lemmy: Hmmm…*reads label on gift* Warning: Do Not Open Unless Your Life Is Threatened… Ok, I shall keep this safe!

Narrator: What is inside the box? Will Lemmy’s life ever be threatened? Will George W. Bush ever get even half a brain? I think not. Tune in next time and find out!

Have an Interview or a suggestion of your own? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Interviews.
Go back to my main page.