KEROH TOAD interviews WARIO

By Keroh Toad

Keroh Toad: Hello everybody! Welcome to KEROH TOAD INTERVIEWS!

(The audience applauds.)

Mario (in the audience): No we don't!

Keroh: Shut up! If the author wrote it then that's what happens! Cue the theme song!

(IF YOU'RE BORED AND FEEL LIKE TALKIN' TO A BOARD, COME ON TO KEROH TOAD'S INTERVIEWS! OR ELSE!)

Keroh: I haven't made a submission for a looong time. Why? Because I got busy with other things.

Mario: No, you just got lazy.

(Keroh glares at Mario.)

Mario: I'll be good! I promise! JUST STOP THE HORRIBLE GLARE!!!

Keroh: Anyway, today we bring The Great Greedy Gladiator, Wario Wario from... his house!

Wario: Wa ha ha ha ha! I'm-a number one!

Keroh: First question: Why are you so greedy?

Wario: Who said I was greedy?

Keroh: Everyone here, me, people in the Pony Dungeon, people that tried to sneak in here but got killed by the lasers in our security system, and other people that couldn't afford getting in here or didn't want to come here.

Goomba (in audience): I thought this was a non-profit entertainment program.

Wario: Well, first of all... I'M NOT GREEDY! I just have an extreme craving for money, garlic, food, garlic, and garlic! Second of all, how are you supposed to make any money with a non-profit organization?

Keroh: I get to keep this place and my home for free. I don't need much money.

Wario: You sicken me.

Keroh: Next question, which do you think is better? Your microgames or adventure games?

Wario: I'd say the microgames because they're great for people with short attention spans like me.

Keroh: Isn't that insulting to people out there that don't have short attention spans and play WarioWare anyway?

Wario: I couldn't care less about them.

(Many people from the audience leave.)

Keroh: NO! YOUR EYES WILL DISAPPEAR IF YOU LEAVE!

(All those people leave anyway.)

Keroh: WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN?

Wario: It's who I am. And you can't change who I am.

Keroh: I bet you tell yourself that lie many, many times.

Wario: Yes... yes I do.

Keroh: Why do you like garlic so much?

Wario: Because it makes my mouth smell good.

Keroh: Mario saves Princess Peach, who do you save?

Wario: My precious, precious moneys.

Keroh: Do you have any fears?

Wario: Losing my moneys... and... clowns...

Keroh: Clowns?

Wario: Sssh! They'll hear you! Yes, clowns!

(The only people left in the audience are Mario, a Goomba, and a clown. The clown smiles evilly at Wario.)

Keroh: But, in Wario World you beat the crud out of clowns. Don't you remember the level called Wonky Circus in World 2?

Wario: That was my stunt double...

(The clown raises its arms and starts laughing evilly. It runs out of the building like a maniac. Wario shudders.)

Keroh: Are you older than Waluigi?

Wario: Yes. Just like Mario is older than Luigi.

(A Chain Chomp with a clown nose on comes in.)

Wario: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! It's my worst nightmare come true! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!

(Wario runs off the stage and off a cliff. He lands on a circus truck and goes through the roof. The truck is filled with clown-themed toys and souveneirs that would be sold at the end of the circus performance.)

Wario: The creepy clown puppets, the creepy clown mugs, the creepy clown robot that's COMING TOWARD ME! AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

(Wario breaks through the back door of the truck and falls on the street. He gets up and sees Bowser riding his Clown Copter.)

Wario: Eeep!

(Wario faints.)

Keroh: I guess that's it for today. I'd like to say that anyone whose eyes disappear, I am not held responsible. So don't sue me! Bye!

Clown Chain Chomp: BARK-BARK! WOOF! BARK! (END TRANSMISSION!)

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