G.G: Lemmy, what’s wrong with you? Why are you twitching around like that?

Lemmy: Well, while I was trapped in that cage I became claustrophobic.

Koopa 13: Just stop thinking about that, and let’s get interviewing.

Lemmy: DON’T TELL ME TO STOP THINKING ABOUT IT! IT HAUNTS ME DAY AND NIGHT! I USED TO BE FEARLESS BUT NOW LOOK AT ME!!!

G.G: Woah, dude. Calm down. Why don’t you go inside that room over there and calm down a bit?

Lemmy: Ok.

(Lemmy goes into the room and starts to scream.)

Lemmy: AHHHHHHHHHH! IT’S A CLOSET!

G.G: Koopa 13, lock the door!

(Koopa 13 locks the door tight.)

G.G: Hehehe. I love torturing.

Chompy: Ruff.

G.G: Right, the Interview. Ok, today it’s with this dysfunctional Mushroom from outer space, or a Shroob.

Shroob: #$%@$^%#$%#

G.G: Dude, watch your language, children watch this thing.

Shroob: $#%@#$%@

G.G: Anyway, first question is why did you move from your home planet to the Mushroom Kingdom?

Shroob: @!#$%#@%#@$%@

G.G: Because you polluted your last one. Dude, have you seen how the world is? We don’t even have an Ozone lair anymore and you thought it would be better here?

KoopA 13: What is the name of the language that you speak?

Shroob: $%#$%@#%$@#%$@#%

Koopa 13: Tell me already!

G.G: He did, he said that it’s Shroobian. It’s how you Earthlings talk on the Internet, noob.

Chompy: Ruff ruff!

G.G: He says, what is your duty in the Shroob race?

Shroob: #@%!%$@!$#!$.

G.G: To own noobs to the maximum and rofl. You’re a weirdo, you know that. Anyway, what do you like to eat?

(We see a Shroob eating a Toad.)

G.G: Oh, cannibalism. I see, that’s pretty reasonable.

Koopa 13: Were you guys created or were you adopted?

Shroob: $#!$#%!#@!$#@!$!$

G.G: Princess Shroob gave birth to you and the entire Shroob race? How is that Possible?

(In the audience, Princess Shroob is seen belching out a whole bunch of Shroobs.)

Chompy: Bark bark!

G.G: He says what do you do now that your Elder Princess Shroob is done for?

Shroob: @#!%$#@%#@%$%@

G.G: Ah, send junk mail to all computers, huh? Very evil-like. Okey dokie, then I’m tired of asking questions, so audience, ask away. Seat 44.

Magikoopa: What do you do on the mothership?

Shroob: #$%$@%@$

G.G: You lend it to your teenagers for dates? How come I didn’t get any cool ships for my dates? Now that I think about it, did I ever have any dates with anyone… No. No I didn’t… Seat 13.

Lava Piranha: 13 IS BAD LUCK!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

G.G: That had to be the most random thing I have ever heard. Seat 14.

Koops: … Um, me?

G.G: YES, ASK A QUESTION!

Koops: Sorry, I don’t have one.

G.G: Then why did you raise your hand?

Koopa: I have to go to the bathroom.

G.G: What am I, your teacher? Just go!

(He leaves.)

G.G: Ok, seat 20.

Goombella: Why do you use Toads as fuel for your ships?

Shroob: #$!@%%!@#@#$

G.G: To conserve the environment? Only hippies do that, and besides, didn’t you already say you polluted your last planet?

Shroob: $!#@$#%#$

G.G: THE SHROOMBAS DID THAT?! Oh sure, blame it on the Goombas, it’s ALWAYS THE GOOMBAS FAULT!! Well, anyway, I think that’s it for today. Let’s-

(Half the stage explodes again.)

G.G: Oh jeez, not again!

Koopa 13: Just END TRANSMISSION!

Have an Interview or a suggestion of your own? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Interviews.
Go back to my main page.