Kody: Shake.

(Siegfried and Nightmare grab each other's hands and squeeze. Hard.)

Kody: Now, roll over.

Siegfried: No.

Kody: I'll give you a Klondike Bar.

Siegfried: I already have two in my freezer at home.

Kody: Fine. You win, but I'll be back!

Nightmare: Where're you going?

Kody: Nowhere.

Nightmare: Okay. Who's being interviewed next?

Kody: Gloomtail. Which is why Talim will do the Interview.

Taki: She can't.

Kody: Why?

Taki: They met. She fainted. Yeah…

(Taki strums a guitar.)

Kody: You're weird. Okay, King Boo? You do it.

King Boo: Gloomtail? Why not.

Kody: Siegfried, you be the temporary secretary. Hey that rhymed.

Siegfried: What do I get for it?

Kody: Another Klondike bar.

Siegfried: Sweet!

(Gloomtail crashes through a wall.)

Kody: And your first job is to repair the wall.

Siegfried: D'oh!

Homer: WHY YOU LITTLE- Wait, what's the next part?

Siegfried: You strangle yourself?

Homer: Okay.

(Homer does so.)

Gloomtail: INTERVIEW ME!!!

King Boo: All right, all right!

Taki: And they sat down and had a little talk…

Kody: Stop that. It's annoying.

Taki: Exactly. And because I like to sing.

Kody: Hmph.

King Boo: Gloomtail, why is that your name?

Gloomtail: Because I bring gloom and doom down upon all those who get in my way!

King Boo: Sure you do. Why do you work for the Shadow Queen?

Gloomtail: Because she reminds me of myself, dark and foreboding.

King Boo: Foreboding? Are you sure? You seem rather aggressive.

Gloomtail: To enemies, yes.

King Boo: Well that clears that up. Why does your breath poison the opponent?

Gloomtail: I eat lots of garlic to keep away the Swoopulas.

King Boo: Ugh… Garlic… Er, I thought they aided you?

Gloomtail: Are you kidding? They hate me! They're jealous because the Shadow Queen favors me more than them. And you don't know what it's like to have one of them bite you. It hurts. Their teeth are one of the few things that can pierce my hide.

Taki: Hide all the sorrow…

Kody: That's it!

(Kody grabs the guitar and breaks it in half.)

Taki: HEY!

(Taki takes out the Poltergust 3000.)

Kody: *GASP* OH NO! I forgot that since I'm a Boo now- ACK!

(Taki chases Kody around with the vacuum.)

Kody: STOP! I'll… uh… quadruple your pay?

Taki: I don't get paid.

Kody: Oh yeah. AHHH!!!

King Boo: *GASP* The Poltergust 3000! CRIMSON BEAM!

ZAP!

Taki: Ow.

King Boo: Kindly keep that away from here, please.

Taki: Okay. But this isn't over!

(Taki stomps away backstage.)

Kody: That'll show ya, weirdo. Thanks.

King Boo: Don't mention it. Really, don't, I get them too often. Ahem! How old are you?

Gloomtail: About 6,500 years old.

King Boo: 6500?! How are you able to live?!

Gloomtail: I'm part of the Shadow Folk! I'm a Shadow that has taken on dragon shape! So I've existed since the time when the Shadow Queen first arose!

King Boo: Didn't Beldam say a few Interviews ago that only she and the other Shadow Sirens could assume forms as Shadows?

Gloomtail: She doesn't know, because I've never told her. I never liked Beldam, really.

King Boo: Well that's another mystery solved.

Lord Crump: And I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling dragons!

(Kody launches Lord Crump into a plothole.)

Kody: That running gag's been done too many times.

King Boo: As if we need any anyway, right?

Nightmare: How about I ask my servant Tira? I haven't forgotten the time she chewed up my gloves once.

King Boo: NO!

Nightmare: Too late. HAHAHAHA!!!

(Nightmare runs off laughing maniacally.)

Kody: Argh… My ratings are gonna plummet.

King Boo: Let's just ignore it. One more question I have for you, Gloomtail. How come you are able to perform that huge jumping attack and Hooktail or Bonetail, your sister and brother, aren't able to?

Gloomtail: Hooktail eats too much, and Bonetail eats nothing. I'm just agile enough to leap very high, and I have just enough weight to make the ground shake.

King Boo: Blooh heh heh heh heh! Audience, time for some QUESTIONS! Or I'll throw you in a pit with Morton. And THEN scare you!

Audience: Uhhh…

King Boo: What? That's not scary?

Koopa in audience: Well I think-

King Boo: SILENCE!!!

(King Boo crimson beams the Koopa.)

Koopa: Ouch.

King Boo: How about I crimson beam you all to death?

Audience: EEP!!!

King Boo: Good! Seat 423!

Cataquack: How have you eaten decently? It doesn't look like there's much food in the Palace of Shadow.

Gloomtail: The Queen brings me victims that she captures. Also, if I can, I'll catch some of those Swoopulas that are constantly flying around. My garlic breath makes them tastier! Bwa ha ha!

King Boo: Urp… Um, seat 4.

Roy: How strong are you? And what are your current stats?

Gloomtail: Typical Roy question… fine. I can lift about 150 tons. My stats aren't really changed, but they're 100 HP, 10 Attack, and 3 Defense. Happy?

Roy: No. You're stronger than me. I must improve and beat you.

(Roy runs out.)

Gloomtail: Fool.

King Boo: Yeah, he's definitely one. Seat 42.

A Scottish Piranha Plant: What's 6 x 9?

Gloomtail: … 54. And this is for asking a stupid question.

(Gloomtail fries the Piranha Plant.)

Piranha Plant: Ouch, laddie.

King Boo: Seat 54.

Gloomtail: *twitch*

Wart: I am the great Wart! Have you been anywhere other than that huge room that you lived in?

Gloomtail: Well I'm right here, that counts.

King Boo: Before Mario met you.

Gloomtail: Oh. I flew the skies as the queen's second steed (Bonetail, my brother, was the first) before she was sealed away, me and Bonetail with her.

King Boo: One more. Seat 1,234,567,890.

Red Brief J: How did you get a treasure chest in your stomach?

Gloomtail: My queen fed it to me to keep the Star Key safe from intruders that might try to use it to find the queen and destroy her completely. It wasn't easy, though. You try swallowing a chest as big as your mouth!

King Boo: I would, but I'm a Boo. HOOH! Interview over!

Kody: Sir Grodus is next on my Interview list.

(Kody's Interview crew runs away.)

King Boo: I can't run!

I don't care. RUN, DANG IT!

King Boo: …

Kody: Ingrates.

Tira: Meow.

(A rain of tires hit the audience. Bowser is hit by a particularly large one.)

Bowser: BOOM!

(Gloomtail sprouts whiskers.)

Gloomtail: AHH! THE RANDOMNESS! IT BURNS!

(Gloomtail rampages through the castle, destroying the third wall and most of the audience.)

Tira: Cheep cheep.

Sushie: I find that offensive!

Kody: At least the fourth wall didn't break.

Bowser: BOOM!

(Kody is hit by a crate.)

Kody: …

(Kody has a mental fit, resulting in the camera getting destroyed.)

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