(The crew can be seen in the prison’s courtyard. Yux and Blaze are just floating, talking…)

Yux: No, my fire's hotter!

Blaze: No, mine!

(…and shooting fireballs at each other. Slim’s lifting weights…)

Slim: F…four… HUNDRED!

(…made out of two now dead prisoner’s bodies. Shady’s lifting a pencil…)

Shady: O…O…ONE!!!

(… No comment. And Hammer Sis is lifting the entire crew.)

Hammer Sis: I…I…I LOST COUNT AT THREE THOUSEND!!!

Yux: That does not make any sense at all.

Hammer Sis: What doesn’t make sense at all?

Yux: Well, you’re the only girl in the group, right?

Hammer Sis: To my knowledge, yes.

Yux: But at the same time, you’re the strongest one in the group! That doesn’t make sense!

Hammer Sis: (getting angry) And your point is…?

Yux: How can a girl be that strong?! It’s so un-womanlike and to my knowledge impossible for women to lift that much weight.

(Well, that’s what Yux was going to say, but he only got up to the word “girl” before Hammer Sis pulled out his tongue and wrapped it around him. Then she pulled on the tongue, sending Yux spinning into the spike-lined fence.)

Yux: … Ow.

Blaze: (in Nelson’s voice) HA HA!

Shady: Ha… Well that was fun and all, but we still need to find a way out.

Hammer Sis: Shady, I already talked to you about this. They will let us out in three days!

Shady: But I can’t wait that long!

Hammer Sis: It’s just three days!

Shady: BUT THAT’S MORE THEN TWO!

Slim: Can I ask you something, Shady?

Shady: (still in yelling mode) SURE! GO RIGHT AHEAD!

Slim: … Aren’t you a Paratroopa?

Shady: YES!

Slim: And can’t Paratroopas fly?

Shady: … YES! YOU’RE A GENUIS!!!

(Shady begins to fly towards the sky.)

Slim: Remember to come back for us!

Shady: Sure! …Who are you guys again?

(Meanwhile…)

Guard #1: …Oh no!

Guard #2: What’s wrong?!

Guard #1: Prisoner #64 just remembered that he could fly!

Guard #2: What?! You told me he was an idiot!

Guard #1: He is! Look!

(He points to Shady, who's flying upside-down.)

Shady: I’m not sure that I’m doing this right… Oh, now I remember!

(He starts flapping the other wing too.)

Shady: (still upside-down) That’s better.

Guard #1: See?!

Guard #2: … Well… yeah. Turn, “it” on right now before it’s to late!

Shady (in the air): Wow, it sure is taking me a long time to get over this fence.

(Suddenly…)

Hammer Sis: What the? What is that?

Yux: (with his tongue back in his mouth) I think it’s a giant bug zapper.

Blaze: Cool!

Slim: Do they honestly think they can stop someone with that? And… Shady! Don’t go near that thing!

Shady: I, can’t, resist! It’s, so, shiny!

(ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPP!!!)

(Shady’s burning body falls back down to the prison’s courtyard.)

Shady: (on fire) I’m ok!

(…)

(Hammer Sis walks onto the prison’s stage.)

Hammer Sis: Hello again. Welcome to the last day of bad guy turned good week.

Yux: Week? It’s been like three months!

Hammer Sis: SILENCE, NOOB!

Yux: Noob? I’ve been on this site longer then you have! People actually know who I am!

Hammer Sis: Whatever, Grandpa.

Yux: I’m starting to not like you.

Hammer Sis: (ignoring Yux) With the help of Grodus, we were able to save Shady…

Grodus Head: Yes, with my healing tank!

(He turns his disembodied head to what looks like a soda pop bottle full of water with Shady floating in it.)

Hammer Sis: Hey… How is he supposed to breathe in there?

Grodus Head: … Breathe?

Hammer Sis: … Never mind. It’s not that important. Anyways, in exchange, we would interview him.

Slim: Why?

Grodus Head: Why not?

Slim: …

Hammer Sis: Let's begin! First question, what are you exactly?

Grodus Head: I’m a robot.

Hammer Sis: But you can use magic.

Grodus Head: … So?

Hammer Sis: I thought magic was some kind of spirituality thing.

Grodus Head: Nope. Anyone can use magic. All you have to do is have a high number of IQ points.

Slim: Really? Well if that’s all it takes, then I’m a wizard!

(Slim casts the ultimate fire spell, Firaga, on Blaze! Blaze grows ten sizes larger.)

Blaze: (laughing) Heheh, stop! That tickles!

Slim: Well, that was stupid.

(Blaze accidentally moves too close to the audience and toasts them.)

Prisoner: (on fire) Why do we even come to these things?!

Hammer Sis: … Anyways. So, are X-Nauts robots too?

Grodus Head: No. They're organic.

Yux: Including Crump?

Grodus Head: Especially Crump!

Crump: (eating a cupcake) Was that a fat joke?!

Grodus Head: Yes.

Crump: Just checking.

Blaze: (back to normal size) Who built you?

Grodus Head: I built myself.

Blaze: Huh?

Grodus Head: Well, a long time ago, I was a normal X-Naut. I had this special gift for making stuff and programming computers, so I made this huge computer and dumped my brain into it. While I was in the computer, I built myself this robot suit for myself. When the body was finished, I transferred my brain into the robot and I turned the computer I was in into TEC.

Blaze: Um… Why?

Grodus Head: Cause robots rule!

Hammer Sis: Yeah, sure they do.

(She starts dribbling Grodus’s head.)

Grodus Head: KNNNOOOOCKKK THAAAAATTT OUUTTTT PLEASEEEE!!!

(Hammer Sis throws Grodus into the prison’s basketball hoop.)

Grodus Head: (dizzily) Thank you.

Yux: Where are X-Nauts from?

Grodus Head: We’re actually from another planet. Our home planet is close to the Shroobs' home world, but we’re in the same solar system as Plit.

Hammer Sis: YOU'RE ALIENS?!

Grodus Head: Yes.

Hammer Sis: Wow! I always thought you guys were just highly evolved super chickens who grew stronger than your mermaid overlords and banished them to the mystical land of Minnesota.

Everyone: …

Blaze: *cough*

Hammer Sis: Shut up, Yux!

(She punches Yux into the spike-lined fence.)

Yux: (with more holes in him then swish cheese) Why do you hate me?!

Hammer Sis: … I don’t really know myself.

Slim: I can explain this one. You see, the female’s chromosomes are XX while a males chromosomes are XY. A Yux’s chromosomes are YY, which is the complete opposite of female chromosomes. So it’s easy to see why you hate him, and you didn’t hear a single word I said, did you?

Hammer Sis: Next question! Why did your Mini-Yux things only increase your defense instead of making you invincible?

Grodus Head: Well those were actually prototypes. The real ones were going to turn me invincible.

(The tank Shady is in starts to rumble.)

Hammer Sis: Hey! I think he’s waking up!

Shady (from inside the tank): AHHHHH!!! AHHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!!

Yux: Gasp! We have to break him out of there!

Hammer Sis: … Why?

Yux: WHY?! It sounds like he’s dieing in there!

Hammer Sis: Huh? Oh yeah! I forgot you're new to this show. Yeah, Shady always wakes up like that.

Yux: Um… Why?

Hammer Sis: He never tells us.

Shady’s Nightmare...

Mario: It’s’-a me! Mario! And now I’m-a on the PS3!

Shady: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Real world...

Slim: Well it sounds like it’s horribler than anything that my ingenious psychopathic mind could produce.

Yux: Horribler is not a word.

(Slim rips out his own spine and whips Yux with it.)

Yux: OWWWWWWWWW!!!

Slim: Quiet, new meat!

(Somehow he inserts the spine back into his body. The wound heals instantly.)

Yux: …

(Shady’s tube breaks open. He flops on the ground like a fish for a few minutes.)

Shady: AHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHHH! AHHH! Ahhh…

Blaze: Are you done yet?

Shady: Yeah, I think so.

Blaze: Good.

Shady: So… What did I miss?

Hammer Sis: Nothing much. We’re just interviewing some weird lightbulb robot head thing.

Grodus Head: … I have a name, you know.

Hammer Sis: Yeah, but we don’t really care.

Grodus Head: But I helped revive Shady!

Hammer Sis: That’s the complete opposite of help!

Shady: Yeah! What she said.

Hammer Sis: … You just agreed to your own dissing.

Shady: Yeah!

Hammer Sis: See what I mean?

Shady: Yeah! Audience time! Seat 423!

Prisoner 423: At the end of PMTTYD, Goombella said you turned good. Is this true?

Grodus Head: Yes. After being betrayed by a huge, thousand-year old killing machine demon, I thought it was about time I quit the evil gig.

Slim: Loser! You don’t quit evil after one bad plan! You just pick yourself up and try over and over again until one day you summon an even more powerful demon who also betrays you. That’s when you call it quits.

Grodus Head: Um… thanks?

Slim: No problem.

Blaze: Seat 352!

Captain Obvious: Hey! You never explained why Grodus is just a head! The people who haven’t finished the game won’t know whats going on! Also, why hasn’t the guards appeared in awhile? Why hasn’t Yellow awakened from that coma yet? Why doesn’t Blaze say more then four words per sentence? Why hasn’t there been another chapter of Shadow Paper Mario 2? And why hasn’t anyone figured out that Slim is Shady’s…

Slim: (BROTHER!)

(The dramatic lightning electrocutes Captain Obvious.)

Captain Obvious: (in a pile of ashes) I will return!

Yux: (sarcastically) Yay. Seat 24!

Prisoner: (on fire) We’re still on fire!

Yux: Don’t care. Ask a question.

Prisoner: (on fire) How did you get Crump back from deep space?

Grodus Head: Well, oddly enough, he landed on our home planet. They sent him right back to Plit from there.

Pile of Ashes, formally know as Prisoner: Why?

Grodus Head: 'Cause Crump, my army, and I were banished from there.

Everyone except the people on fire: Huh?

People on Fire: WHY ISN’T ANYONE HELPING US?!

Guard: We just don’t feel like helping. That, and the fact that we hate you all.

Shady: Why?

Guard: Well it’s just that if none of you were here, we could all go home and play some video games and…

Shady: Not you! Why were you banished from your home world?

Grodus Head: Let's just say, we did some… things. Bad things. Things involving gasoline and hippies…

Blaze: … Seat 23!

Prisoner .666: How did you learn about the Shadow Queen?

Grodus Head: As soon as I landed on Plit, the three Shadow Sirens appeared before me and told me about her. Of course they left out the whole “she’s an uncontrollable demon” part.

Yux: Se…

Hammer Sis: Hey! It’s my turn to call a seat!

Yux: Oh, sorry.

Hammer Sis: That’s good enough!

(She pounds Yux into the ground.)

Yux: OW!

Hammer Sis: Quiet, new meat! Seat 646,262,262!

Yellow: (still in a coma) …

Hammer Sis: Dang, we should really make sure that Yellow’s not dead.

Shady: *groan* Do we have to?

Hammer Sis: … I guess not. Seat 8!

Bowser: I know what you're probably thinking. “How did the beautiful and intelligent Bowser get thrown into jail?!” Well, you see…

Everyone: You kidnapped Peach.

Bowser: … Yes. How did you build your moon base? I was thinking of getting one for my next brilliant evil plan.

Grodus Head: The base was actually our parked spaceship.

Bowser: Oh. Well… do you know how to make a space base?

Grodus Head: Yes.

Bowser: Can you show me how?

Grodus Head: No.

Bowser: Why not?

Grodus Head: 'Cause you’ll just use it for evil. And I’m against evil now.

Bowser: (whispering) Wuss.

Grodus Head: (with a cannon-mounted Grodus X thing aimed at Bowser) What was that?!

Bowser: (scared) N-nothing!

Shady: Ok. Explain to me how we are unable to break out of here when there are weapon-trotting megalomaniacs everywhere.

Slim: Beats me.

Blaze: Last question!

Grodus Head: Ok, shoot.

Blaze: Do you like Yoshis?

Grodus Head: Um… yeah. I find them to be cute creature.

All the Yoshis in the audience: Awww… Thank you!

Blaze: That’s nice. Well…

(Blaze’s eyes turn fiery red.)

Blaze: Prepare to die!

(He incinerates Grodus and the Yoshi crowd with a huge fireball.)

Blaze: Aww… That felt good!

Shady: Good work, Blaze!

Hammer Sis: Shady! Are you loco?!

Slim: No, that’s my job.

Hammer Sis: If you steal one of Dark Koopa’s jokes, then he’ll use his L33T typing and fourth wall-breaking skills to destroy us all!

(A crate almost crushes Hammer Sis.)

Hammer Sis: You see?!

Shady: Hey! While you were yammering on about something important, I thought of a way out of here!

(He pulls Yux out of the ground.)

Shady: Use your only redeeming feature.

Yux: You mean my incredible singing skills? (singing horribly) If you walk away, you won’t hear me say…!

(Hammer Sis punches Yux in the face.)

Yux: Ow.

Shady: Yux! Use the Randomizer!

Yux: But something bad will happen if I use it.

Shady: Well something bad is going to happen to you if you don’t use it right now.

(Blaze cracks his flaming claws.)

Yux: *sigh* I hate my life. RANDOMIZE!

(He glows, then stops.)

Yux: The good news is…

Guard #1: Man, these Interview shows are so boring.

Guard #2: Yeah… Hey, did you ever turn off that bug zapper thing?

Guard #1: I thought you were going to do it.

Guard #2: Oh #$%@! He have to turn that off right now!

Guard #1: Calm down, dude. What's the worst thing that could happen?

(Meanwhile…)

Gloomtail: Man, that took me forever to get out of that Palace. Now I can…

(He notices the bug zapper over the prison.)

Gloomtail: So… shiny! Can’t… resist!

(ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAPPPPPP!)

(His burning corpse lands on the two guards while knocking down a wall at the same time.)

Guard #2: With, my, last, breath, I, curse, Guard #1!

Shady: We’re free! Come, my brethren! We are free at last!

Prisoner: Actually, we want to serve our time and become functional members of society again.

Prisoners: Yeah.

Bowser: Except for me. I just want to find my own way out.

Shady: You're all idiots!

(The group steals a prison bus and drives away.)

Slim: Well, this is probably the dumbest thing we’ve done in our lives.

Yux: No. I think the dumbest thing we’ve ever done was joining this show.

Blaze: Yep.

Hammer Sis: I don’t even know why I stay. Oh, by the way. What's the bad news?

Yux: Oh, well the bad news is…

Hammer Sis: Wait… Who was the idiot who let Shady drive?!

Yux: Why? What's wrong with that?

Shady: Hey! This thing's got auto pilot! (talking to the dashboard) To Plit’s Mexico, please. AKA, the Beanbean Kingdom.

(He lets go of the steering wheel.)

Slim: Um… Shady? That’s not how autopilot works… Shady?

Shady: ZZZZZZZ…

(The bus drives itself off a cliff.)

Everyone: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Shady: ZZZZZZZ...

Blaze: LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!

Hammer Sis: This is neither the time nor place for that!

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