Blue: Are we still dead?

Red: Being on hiatus doesn't mean being dead.

Blue: It doesn't?

Red: Yep.

Blue: Oh.

Red: Now, then, let's just go and st-

Blue: What happened to Yellow?

Red: He's in that corner.

Yellow: 'Sup.

***

Lakitu: Coming to you live from the Sky Land Tower, it's... Late Night with Wendy O. Koopa!

(Wendy floats onto the stage on a cloud.)

Lakitu: I expect you to pay for that!

Wendy: Welcome, everyone, to Late Night with Wendy O. Koopa! It's me, your host, Wendy, and today we're interviewing a very influential figure in Koopa society- probably because he "influences" them with his fists. Here comes Roy Koopa!

(A thousand pyrotechnics go off, and Roy walks onstage, flexing and stretching. He finally sits down, but the pyrotechnincs don't stop.)

Wendy: CUT THE FIREWORKS!

Cheep Cheep: WHAAAT?

Wendy: CUT THE FIREWORKS!

Cheep Cheep: OH! OKAY!

(The Cheep Cheep spits water all over the pyrotechnics, thus stopping them.)

Wendy: Whew... Now, was all that necessary, Roy?

Roy: Yes. Very yes.

Wendy: Hmph. Now, then, on with the show. First question; you seem like the rough-n-tumble kind of guy to me. Is that true?

Roy: Definitely. I'm so rough-n-tumble, I watched Roadhouse five times before this Interview!

Wendy: In... in a day?

Roy: You bet.

Wendy: ... Wow. Not gonna question THAT. So, why the tough personality?

Roy: Well, long story short, I get a kick out of it. Short story LONG, however, I take great pleasure in causing harm to most anything- because it relieves stress. In reality, I'm very stressed- being the macho guy in the family really piles a lot of weight on your shoulders. That's why I beat up my siblings and other creatures, and, occasionally, objects.

Wendy: Hm, never knew! Next question. Did you really pick Sky Land because you liked it? I mean, you seem like the Desert Land type of guy to me.

Roy: I enjoy clouds. They're comfy. Plus they don't scream when you chop their block off.

Wendy: What about the ground aspect of it?

Roy: I could care less about that stupid penin-nin-ninsula on the ground. All the good stuff is up there, in the sky.

Wendy: Ah, I see. Next question. What's your favorite baddie?

Roy: Definitely Hammer Brother. We both share the same hobbies.

Wendy: Those are?

Roy: Beating things up. And eating.

Wendy: That's... predictable. Next question! You are... completely bald. Like, moreso than Morton. Why?

Roy: Maybe I was BORN WITHOUT IT!

(A hush falls upon the crowd.)

Wendy: ... S-sorry.

Roy: Nah, s'kay. I think it makes me look tough.

Wendy: Next question. Are you actually afraid of anything?

Roy: Yeah. Heights.

Wendy: So... why Sky Land, then?

Roy: Wait... You're right... AAH!

Wendy: I take it you're not too bright either?

Roy: Y-yeah I am! I just never notice the ground up in the clouds! I just think the tower's a small stairway!

Wendy: Let's test that theory.

(Wendy walks all the way up the stairs and drops a coin. Minutes later, the coin hits the ground. Roy is on the bottom floor, mind you.)

Roy: Eep.

Wendy: Now, on to the next question. Why are you considered so tough?

Roy: I think the cartoon reinforced it; I was a maniac in that show!

Wendy: Yeah, come to think of it... that show was terrrible! All it did was just glorify our quirks!

Roy: And the singing. Ugh.

Wendy: Mind you, I was paid to sing that one song by Cyndi Lauper...

Roy: Eh... Aren't we getting a bit off topic?

Wendy: Yes. Yes we are. Next question! In Super Mario World, you were... blue! Why was that?

Roy: Oh, you have to bring this up... Listen. To tell you the truth... I kinda... tripped. And fell into a ladder, which was being used by a painter. To paint my castle. And, as you could tell, the paint was blue... well, stone blue but you really couldn't tell, and I was soaked all over. Thankfully, I could get it off of some parts, but the rest were too dried.

Wendy: Wow. That is embarassing.

Roy: Yeah. Now Larry keeps calling me Blue Man Koop.

Wendy: Heh. Well, that's all the questions I have, but stay tuned for audience questions after the break!

***

Yellow: Hey, I'm Yellow Virus. Now, you may be asking, "What? I was just watching this awesome show!" Well, tough. You see, after this Interview series is over, we're... replacing Wendy. That's why we want you to vote... should she stay, or should she go? Now is the time, so go vote, dang it!

***

Wendy: We're back! Now, time for questions!

Roy: And they'd better be good. I've got a date with destiny at 3. And by destiny, I mean the couch.

Wendy: Okay. Seat FORTYTWONE!

Paratroopa: What's with the sunglasses?

Roy: Being in Sky Land, the sun's alway's shining. That's why I need sunglasses: my eyes are weak against the sun.

Wendy: Seat SOMETHING!

Thwomp: WHY RED?

Roy: You mean my shell and head? Those colors are natural.

Wendy: Seat IMRUNNINGOUTOFWIT!

Shadow Raceman Koopa: Hello!

Roy: ... Why are you here?

Shadow: I wanted to ask a question, of course.

Roy: Ah. 'Kay.

Shadow: Since when did you learn to control your anger? I mean, a whole Interview and nothing's been damaged!

Roy: I've been taking anger management classes. Helps me relieve my stress.

Wendy: Seat NOMORESEATNAMESPLEASE!

Lemmy: Who's your favorite Koopaling?

Roy: I think you know.

Lemmy: ... You-

Roy: Correct.

Wendy: Seat IGIVEUPALREADY!

Fire Chomp: Why did you end up with the Forest of Illusion in Super Mario World?

Roy: I was under the impression that maybe the forest had some illusions in it to confuse Mario... but all it had was a bunch of caterpillars and bombs in bubbles. And secret exits.

Wendy: Seat 12!

Boomerang Bro: Do you have a favorite drink?

Roy: Dr Pepper, man. That stuff rocks.

Blue: I totally agree!

Wendy: Since when were you here?

Blue: Oh, I'm always here. I'm just offscreen all the time.

Wendy: That explains it... Seat 84!

Parabeetle: What do you look like under your sunglasses?

Roy: Reeeeal beady eyes. Like, dots even. Of course, I'd look less menacing with them off, so I keep them on at all times.

Wendy: Okay, enough questions. They're getting boring. Now it's time for...

All: PRIZE! OR! PAIN!

Wendy: Yep, the part of our show where you can walk away with a prize or get a load of pain! Roy, spin that wheel!

(Roy spins the wheel hard. )

Wendy: You get... a prize!

Roy: F'real? Sweet!

Wendy: Your prize is... a thousand coins!

Roy: OH YES! In your face, Iggs!

Iggy: My head still hurts from the last Interview.

Wendy: And with that, our show must conclude. Tune in next time when we interview Lemmy Koopa himself, on...

All: LATE NIGHT WITH WENDY O. KOOPA!

Shadow: End transmission!

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