Went: Hello, and welcome to Lemmy’s etc. etc. Today I will finally interview Goomba!

Goomba: Yes! I have been preparing for this for weeks!

Went: First question! How can you hold things without hands?

Goomba: Well, it’s bec-

Wario: YOU LIAR!

Wario kicks Goomba and sends him flying.

Went: Fawful! Where is Fawful?

Lemmy: Last week he went to Dark Koopa’s birthday party, and no one has seen him since.
 

Some days ago...

Pink: What do you mean by “I don’t like these Yoshis of stupidness”?!

Fawful: Err... help?
 

Wario: You told me in there were 1,000 coins in Lavalava Volcano! And I have only found 243!

Went: Keep searching!

Wario: Are you sure?

Went: Yes! The money is inside the big lava pool! That’s what I heard, at least.

Wario: Then there I go!

Went: Wait! You have smashed my interviewee!

Wario: And?

Went: Sit down! I have to interview someone!

Wario: Hehehe... You can’t resist my magnetic personality...

Went: On second thought, I will interview a Wiggler track driver or something.

Wario: No! Please! I’m doing an advertising tour!

Went: What?

Wario: Buy WarioWar-

Went: Shut up and answer! Why do you hate Mario?

Wario: Because he is more popular than me! In school, everyone wanted to play with him!

Went: You started bullying him then, didn’t you?

Wario: Yes!

Flashback: Wario steals Mario’s pizza during the lunch time. Then Mario steals Luigi’sdoughnut. Then Luigi steals Waluigi’s sandwich. Then Waluigi cries.

Wario: Good times... I bullied Mario and my stupid brother at the same time.

Guinness Notary: Wait! 18 w’s in a row! World record!

Confetti starts falling from the ceiling. Someone gives Went a bunch of flowers.

Went: I would like to thank me for choosing this nickname, and Wario for having his name and all the people who have been cheering for me!

Wario: And remember: buy my games!

Went: Talking about that, what’s your favorite game?

Wario: Wario World! It’s the best game ever!

Went: I would disagree, but I don’t have that game...

Wario: I can sell you one! It only costs 6,000 coins!

Went: Thanks, but no. Don’t you miss your adventures?

Wario: Yes, but I prefer earning money while sitting on my sofa thanks to the work of my sla... workers.

Went: Who doesn’t? Audience questions!

Lakitu: How did you get extra-fat in Wario Land 3 by eating an apple?

Wario: It was a candy apple. But I preferred the cakes of WL2.

Morton: Do you like wedding cake?

Wario: Yes! A lot!

Went: NOOO! I hate you guys!

Wario: Why?

Guinness Notary: Only two Interviews before the cake gag! No world record!

Went: *sigh* Another question?

Mona: Why are– Mfff! … Sorry. Why are you so attract– Hahahaaa! … Sorry, I can’t ask it.

Wario: Even for a pay rise?

Mona: Even for a pay rise.

Wario: Dang it. At least ask the second question!

Mona: Why is WarioWare is one of the best videogames for Wii?

Wario: I like this quest-

Went: No advertisement allowed!

Shy Guy: Does that mean that I can’t advertise my mask shop?

Went: You are a genius!

Mr. Pea: You should do like me.

He wears a t-shirt saying “Mr. Pea Juice Shop! Best in Glitzville!”

Went: No talking t-shirts allowed!

Talking T-Shirt: Aww...

Daisy: Why did you send Tatanga to kidnap me?

Wario: Because your kingdom was so far away from Mario Land and I wanted to have some time to conquer it properly.

Daisy: But, why HIM?

Wario: He was an old friend of mine. Plus, he gave me a discount! That’s why I hired him again to protect the Space Zone.

Kamek: What kind of “evil spell” did you cast over Mario Land?

Wario: Evil spell? I gave them free tickets to the park if they agreed to attack Mario!

Went: You? Giving something for FREE?

Wario: But I raised the price of the drinks! Hahaha!

Went: You are really evil! Last question!

Toad: What’s your relationship with Toadette?

Wario: We meet secretly and do... secret things.

Toad: My heart!

Toad faints.

Wario: Eh! I meant eating pizza and plotting against Mario!

Red Yoshi: Well, Toad isn’t moving, so I will eat his Mushroom cap!
 

Meanwhile...

Bowser: I will destroy you, Mario!

Mario: Don’t think so! Hammer throw!

Bowser: Haha! This helmet will stop it!

The hammer breaks and falls on Bowser’s feet.

Bowser: OOOWWW! I have been defeated again!

Mario: Woah! Thank DAD Toadette gave me that defective hammer!
 

Wario: Well, I will return to Lavalava Island to find those coins...

Went: Stop! You have advertised your games three times on my show! Pay me!

Wario: I don’t have money here!

Coins fall from his pockets.

Went: Sure. Fawful!! Oh, I forgot he isn’t here.

Fawful bursts in running.

Fawful: Help!!! This Yoshi of pinkness has been pursuing me for a week!

Pink: Stop talking strangely!!!

Went: Eh! Wario said he doesn’t like Yoshis!

Pink: WHAAT?!

Pink grabs the camera.

Lemmy: Eh! It cost me a lot of coin-

Have an Interview or a suggestion of your own? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Interviews.
Go back to my main page.