LUDWIG interviews PROFESSOR E. GADD

By King Doopliss

(Ludwig is seen in his room in Bowser’s Castle.)

Ludwig: Hello, inferior losers. I, Ludwig von Koopa, have taken over King Doopliss’ Interviews, because he’s in the hospital because he was in an explosion.

(At the hospital, King Doopliss and Co. minus Ludwig are seen in full body casts.)

King Doopliss: When I get my hands on Ludwig, he’ll pay.

Cloaked Figure: There are times I wish I had never taken this job.

Doopliss: Why did they have to put us all in the same room?!

Lemmy: To annoy you.

Doopliss: Please, dear DAD, save me.

DAD: Shut up! I’m watching football!

Plit: …

DAD: That’s it, you’re grounded for a month! Now go to your room!

Plit: No fair!

(Plit goes to its room.)

King Doopliss: Ok, this is too random even for me.

DAD: You’re next.

King Doopliss: D’oh!

Back at the studio…

Ludwig: Today I’ll interview the very intelligent, but not as smart as I, Professor E. Gadd.

Professor E. Gadd: I’m far smarter then you, you smelly Koopa.

Ludwig: Is that the best insult you can come up with?

Professor E. Gadd: Just wait, you haven’t seen anything yet.

Ludwig: Whatever, let’s begin then. First question, why do you say some random gibberish all the time?

Professor E. Gadd: It’s an old habit of mine from when I was younger. I used to talk in gibberish so people couldn’t really understand me when I talk to myself out loud.

Ludwig: You’re crazy.

Professor E. Gadd: And you’re not?

Ludwig: Ah, touche. Next question, why did you decide to study Thwomps and Boos at some point during your life?

Professor E. Gadd: I decided to study Thwomps because of how they are angry all the time. The reason I decided to study Boos is because there was little known about them before I started to study them.

Ludwig: Makes sense. By the way, what was your most notable finding on both?

Professor E. Gadd: To be honest I didn’t find out much on Thwomps, but I discovered that Boos had a secret society. This society was the very same group of ghosts that kidnapped Mario. But I didn’t have time to publish this info before they started their plans. I was then too busy trying to stop them to publish my work.

Ludwig: What are some of your better inventions?

Professor E. Gadd: Some of my better inventions are the Poltergust 3000, FLUDD, a time machine, and Stuffwell.

Ludwig: I’ll admit those are some pretty good inventions. Next question, why did you make a café in the Beanbean Kingdom?

Professor E. Gadd: At the time I though it was a good idea, but later I regretted it. You see, after Mario and Luigi saved the kingdom from Cackletta, the Beanbean people kicked me out of the kingdom because the coffee was made from beans. They told me that they planned on doing it for a while just they had more important things to do, like dealing with Cackletta.

Ludwig: Why do you help fat and scared good guys when you could help the bad guys?

Professor E. Gadd: Well I owe Mario and Luigi my life for helping me escape from that volcano. So I decided to help them from then on.

Ludwig: How did Loser Mc. Loserface, AKA Bowser Jr, get that paintbrush from you?

Professor E. Gadd: I was trying to sell that paintbrush one day when he came up to me and offered 1,000 gold coins for it. At the time he didn’t say what he was going to use it for, plus he seemed like a nice guy to me at the time. It wasn’t ‘til later that I found out that the coins he gave me were actually made of chocolate. At first I was really mad, but later I ate some of the chocolate and it was delicious so I wasn’t as mad as I was.

Ludwig: Aha! I knew it was him who stole my chocolate. I’ll get him later for that. Why did you build FLUDD?

Professor E. Gadd: Well one day one of my experiments blew up, causing a huge mess, so I made FLUDD to clean the mess up. Later I figured out that they could be great for cleaning, so I started to sell them. Unfortunately they didn’t sell as well as I though they would. Very few were sold. So that’s when I made the extra nozzles. Even with those they didn’t sell much better.

Ludwig: Now for some of my siblings to ask questions.

Larry: Professor E. Gadd, what made you become a scientist?

Professor E. Gadd: Well when I was a kid, my parents gave me a chemistry set and I fell in love with science.

Iggy: Do you ever want to have your own game?

Professor E. Gadd: Maybe someday, but for now I’m fine just being a supporting character.

Ludwig: Well that’s all the time we have for today. NOW GET OUT OF HERE!

At the hospital…

Nurse: Well it seems that only Mister Lemmy has health insurance. So we’ll have to throw the rest of you out into some random alleyway.

King Doopliss: Again I curse Ludwig!

Cloaked Figure: I wish I had health insurance.

Doopliss: I wish I had never met any of you.

(3 really big guards come in and take everyone but Lemmy away.)

Lemmy: I told them to pay into the health insurance.

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