Ludwig: Welcome once again. I, Ludwig von Koopa, will be Interviewing someone because King Doopliss is unable.

(Elsewhere, King Doopliss, Cloaked Figure, and Doopliss are all laying on the ground in pain.)

King Doopliss: I shall have my revenge!

Cloaked Figure: I shall have cookies!

Doopliss: I shall flee from you all!

All Three of Them: When we can stand up.

Back in Ludwig’s room…

Ludwig: Today I shall Interview a Hammer Bro.

(A Hammer Bro walks in and sits in a chair.)

Hammer Bro: My hammer and I don't like you!

Ludwig: First off, you just met me, and second, your hammer is an inanimate object. Therefore it doesn’t have the capability to think.

Hammer Bro: Yo, stupid, I was quoting from Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars.

Ludwig: What I just said still holds true.

Hammer Bro: Just ask a question.

Ludwig: All right, why did the Hammer Bros. in SMRPG think their hammer was alive?

Hammer Bro: They had just got kicked out of Bowser army for being incompetent, so they were a little crazy from that.

Ludwig: Why do Hammer Bros. where helmets?

Hammer Bro: The helmets are to protect us from stray hammers. Also they help a little against the Mario Bros. by weakening their jump enough to let us survive their jumps sometimes.

Ludwig: How does it make you feel that you’ll be a playable character in the next Mario Party?

Hammer Bro: It makes me happy. I finally get to enjoy the party favors and games.

Ludwig: Stupid party favors...

Hammer Bro: What was that?!

Ludwig: Nothing. Who do you normally work with?

Hammer Bro: We normally work with Boomerang Bros, Fire Bros, Magikoopas, and Koopatrol.

Ludwig: I bet this one is on everyone’s mind: where do you store those hammers and how do you have infinite of them?

Hammer Bro: We store them in our shells, and we don’t have infinite. We just have a really large amount stored in our shells.

Ludwig: How do you store them all in there?

Hammer Bros: It might not look it, but there is a lot of extra space in our shells. I myself don’t understand how it works, but I do know that it has something to do with a spell cast on us by Magikoopas.

Ludwig: Where do you guys normally live?

Hammer Bro: We normally live inside one of King Bowser’s many castles. And that’s normally in Dark Land.

Ludwig: Well, now for some of my siblings to ask questions.

Wendy: Can Hammer Bros. swim?

Hammer Bro: Well some of us can, but others can’t. Those who can’t just haven’t learned.

Larry: Why do Hammer Bros. work for King Dad?

Hammer Bro: Well Hammer Bros. lived in Dark Land, and they didn’t want to have to fight someone as powerful as Bowser or his father, so we joined their army for our own protection.

Ludwig: Well that’s all the time we have for today. NOW GET OU-

(King Doopliss runs in despite his injuries, and beats Ludwig up.)

King Doopliss: You’re going in a box for a while for this.

Hammer Bro: Can I say the ending?

King Doopliss: Knock yourself out.

Hammer Bro: Okay!

(He knocks himself over the head with his hammer 'til he passes out.)

King Doopliss: … Weirdo. NOW GET OUT OF HERE!

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