Kody: Bababeuhbabdbeudhedhudbuebuheubeeduh…

Talim: How did he get like this?

Bobbery: I had absolutely 100 percent nothing to do with it!

Nightmare: Yes you did, you blew up that tree.

Bobbery: What tree? Ohh… I thought it was a Bill Blaster.

Zeus Guy: Did you lose your contact lens?

Bobbery: No. Now I must get going.

(Bobbery explodes himself through the ceiling.)

Talim: O.o

(Talim drags Kody to the nearest hospital, which is very far away since Nightmare keeps destroying them.)

Nightmare: It's instinct. Get used to it.

Meta Knight: Good thing we're not in the castle. Well Kody's definitely not in shape for interviewing, so I guess I will.

Zeus Guy: I'll join you. I need to pick up where I left off.

Meta Knight: So where are the Iron Clefts?

Nightmare: On the moon. Go get them.

(P.T. Piranha appears with a KA-BOOM! He rips a piece of toast in half and disappears.)

Tira: What the-

(Tira disappears.)

King Boo: Who wants to play some crazy-eights?

Meta Knight: …

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Mentok: I can read your mind!

Iron Cleft with Green Feet: I can squish your mind.

Iron Cleft with Red Feet: And I'll squish his spleen.

Mentok: Uh oh.

(Mentok runs away with the Clefts chasing him.)

(Tira appears.)

Tira: Huh? Wh- YOU!

Mentok: A little help, here!

Tira: No.

Iron Cleft Red: Who are you?

Tira: So you're Iron Clefts, huh?

Iron Cleft Green: Well duh.

(Mentok runs around the moon.)

Iron Clefts: You do know we're not moving at all and that you're just running around in circles?

Mentok: Yes.

(Mentok keeps running.)

Tira: Just send them somewhere!

Mentok: *stops* Oh yeah.

Mentok's voice (in their heads) MENTOK COMMANDS YOU TO BE SOMEWHERE ELSE!

(The Clefts are transported… somewhere. Yeah…)

Tira: Good.

Mentok: Not as good as that roast raven I had for lunch the other day.

Tira: I'm gonna kill you!

Mentok: AHH!

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Meta Knight: Well?

Nightmare: Well what?

Meta Knight: They should be here.

(The Iron Clefts appear in the castle.)

Cortez: HEY!

(*PUNT* The Iron Clefts land in front of Meta Knight.)

Meta Knight: Finally. Ready for an Interview?

Iron Cleft Red: Wait… what? How did… Never mind.

Zeus Guy: That's a yes. Now what are you made of?

Iron Cleft Green: We'll never tell!

Iron Cleft Red: Never!

Ludwig: Hmm… My device can't tell what they're made of…

*BLAM*

Ludwig: (hair smoking) Curse you, Fate!

Meta Knight: I must say, it rather improves your look. Well, if you can't tell us what you're made of, at least you can tell us your defense.

Iron Cleft Red: Infinite.

Zeus Guy: WHAT?!

Iron Cleft Green: Nothing can hurt us unless we're thrown at each other.

Meta Knight: That's impossible! You must have a finite value of defense!

Iron Cleft Red: Erm… Just say it's about 50 or something.

Zeus Guy: … All right, and what of your other stats?

Iron Cleft Green: 15 HP, and 7 Attack now.

Meta Knight: Okay. Why'd you show up at the Glitz Pit?

Iron Cleft Red: To show that we're the toughest stuff around! If it weren't for that Yoshi…

(Then he sees Pink in the audience.)

Iron Cleft Red: U-uh… W-we'd n-never have seen the e-error of our w-ways?

Zeus Guy: Come on, say you hate Yoshis. Pink can't do anything to you if you have infinite defense.

Iron Cleft Green: But she's an interviewer. Interviewers can hurt us.

Meta Knight: Point taken. All right, I'll let that slide. So what are you doing now, still in the Glitz Pit?

Iron Cleft Red: Yeah. We're number 2 right now.

Zeus Guy: Who's 1?

Iron Cleft Green: Gonzales Jr.

Zeus Guy: The Yoshi, right?

Iron Cleft Red: Yes. We hate him!

Pink: Who said they hate Yoshis?!

Mario: I did! I got it!

(Pink pummels Mario.)

Mario: Mama…mia…

Meta Knight: Wonderful. Can't you guys be knocked on your back by a quake?

Iron Cleft Green: Nope. We're too sturdy, balanced, and heavy for that to work on us.

Zeus Guy: Any elemental attacks work on you?!

Iron Cleft Red: Nope. Lightning on our horns tingles us a little, though.

Meta Knight: How come you guys didn't get past the Tiny Spinies before?

Iron Cleft Green: Grubba. He told us to stay at the 10th ranking. That stinkwad!

Zeus Guy: Yes, we know. The stinkwad is currently in prison as we speak. So what are your plans to beat Gonzales Jr?

Iron Cleft Red: Avoid the tongue.

Pink: Can I ask a question?

Meta Knight: Later.

Pink: Okay.

Iron Cleft Green: That, and tackle him to death.

Meta Knight: And why are you bigger than normal Clefts?

Iron Cleft Red: Some guy sold us some weird-looking Power Punch. It was all blue, but we drank it and now we're permanently bigger.

Zeus Guy: Too many people who sell weird stuff around here.

Meta Knight: I don't trust them.

Iron Cleft Green: It was only five coins, and we're stronger because of it!

Zeus Guy: Then consider yourselves lucky you didn't get swindled like Grodus. And yes, I saw the last Interview, so I knew how Grodus got tricked. One more question: Why do you have differently-colored feet? IS that to signify who you are?

Iron Cleft Red: I wear red shoes, he wears green.

Meta Knight: Names?

Iron Cleft Green: We forgot them.

Zeus Guy: Ugh…

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Mentok: Wait! Stop!

Tira: No.

(Tira crashes into the flying tree… yeah, crashes into a FLYING tree.)

Mentok: I warned you.

Tira: I hate defying logic.

Mentok: Let's defy logic!

(Mentok crashes into himself a second later.)

Tira: NOOOOOOOO!!!

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Nightmare: Did I hear screaming? Awesome! Oh wait, that's Tira.

Siegfried: I'm back from repairing the wall!

Iron Cleft Red: … Which Cortez destroyed by punting us here.

Siegfried: WHA?!

(Siegfried runs off.)

Meta Knight: How can you hear something on the moon?

Nightmare: I can't, but me and Tira are mentally linked. I like having servants, muahahahaha!

Zeus Guy: You sick being. Anyway, it's time for audience questions. Seat 4.

Roy: How heavy are you?

Iron Cleft Green: Enough to squash you!

(Roy shuts up.)

Meta Knight: A more accurate zone, please.

Iron Cleft Red: About 1500 kg each. Yeah, that's right, we're heavier than Thwomps.

Thwomp: THWOMP HATE YOU!

(The Iron Cleft with green shoes tackles the Thwomp, shattering it.)

Thwomp: THWOMP IN PAIN.

Iron Cleft Green: And in pieces! HAH HAH HAH!

Zeus Guy: Wow. Anyway, seat 35.

Amazing Flying Hammer Brother: Why'd you attack Mario… er… Gonzales again as he finished a battle?

Iron Cleft Red: We hate being humiliated! It angers us!

Meta Knight: Seat 1.

Lemmy: Do you have any special abilities that we should know about?

Iron Cleft Green: No. We do have some abilities you shouldn't know about, like our Ground Pounds.

Iron Cleft Red: YOU IDIOT!!!

Iron Cleft Green: Whoops.

Lemmy: You can do Ground Pounds? With that tremendous bulk?!

Iron Cleft Red: Err… No good hiding it… Err, yeah, as we said, we're strong.

Zeus Guy: Last question. Seat 777.

Grate Guy: I don't like you, Zeus Guy! Oh, and are you two the only Iron Clefts?

Zeus Guy: I don't like you either.

Iron Cleft Green: … Are there others?

Iron Cleft Red: I don't think so. But we've never really checked.

Grate Guy: Let's fight, Zeus Guy! Meteor Blast!

*woom shoom woom BOOM!*

Zeus Guy: AAARGH! Grr… This'll get messy. Anybody with a faint heart and any brain cells left should leave, right now.

(Everybody runs away as Zeus Guy and Grate Guy fight.)

Kody: I'm back! Thanks to Thumbs.

Thumbs: Yes, thank me due to my shortcuts, which don't go wrong.

Nightmare: You found a hospital? May I destroy it?

Kody: No.

Nightmare: Too bad.

(Nightmare runs off.)

Kody: Argh.

Mentok: Hi.

Kody: Hello. When did you get here?

Mentok: About five seconds ago. By the way, don't look up.

Kody: Why?

(Kody looks up and a flaming object passes through him and craters the ground beneath him.)

Grate Guy: I WIN!

Zeus Guy: No, you lost.

Grate Guy: I won the lottery! I'M RICH!

(Zeus Guy steals the money.)

Grate Guy: WAH! I feel so poor already.

Kody: Good thing my invisibility skills kicked in again. Hey, it's a… tree?

Bobbery: TREE!!!

(Bobbery lands on the flaming tree and it explodes to reveal Tira.)

Tira: Ow.

Kody: Wow, that was funny. Nightmare has a point. Tira, you're the new running gag. End transmission.

(Tira cries as the camera shuts off.)

Pink: What camera? I didn't see one.

Kody: …

Meta Knight: …

Zeus Guy: …

Iron Cleft Red: …

Iron Cleft Green: …

Mentok: …

Water Land: …

Plit: …

Universe: …

Infinity: I have nothing to do with the car brand!

Infiniti: Hey, you're cute.

Infinity: …

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