Talim: Hello.

Audience: *yawn*

Talim: What time is it?

Audience: It's 3:00 AM…

Talim: It is? I thought the clock was supposed to be fixed?

Popple: There is no clock. It's all in your imagination.

(Popple stuffs a clock in his loot bag.)

Talim: All right, smarty, hand it over.

Popple: NEVAH!

(Ludwig pulls out an imploding laser.)

Ludwig: Relinquish the grip on the castle clock or I'll blow you to subatomic fragments.

Popple: …

(Popple hurls the clock away and runs away flailing and screaming like a maniac.)

Talim: Hey, thanks!

Ludwig: I made that clock after Kody's first Interview, when he interviewed me.

Talim: Heeeey… Since he conked out again, and the others are doing something else, why don't you do the Interview?

Ludwig: … M-me? Er… wow. That is mind-blowing… but what about you?

Talim: Kody tells me when to do an Interview. I'm not to do one otherwise.

Ludwig: I see. Very well. Wait… Isn't this the 98th Interview?

Talim: … Eee! You're right! I've got to make preparations for the 100th! Oh, and by the way, you're interviewing Gus. I've got to hurry!

(Talim starts running around with party equipment.)

Ludwig: Er, yes. Come on out, Gus!

Gus: I'm already here.

Ludwig: Lights?

Roy: Yeah…

Ludwig: Cameras?

Iggy: Roger.

Larry: Rabbit.

Iggy: …

Ludwig: … Larry, you're a dunce. Anyway, today I'm interviewing Gus of the Robbo band of thieves.

Gus: And while we're here I'll tell you about Dark Craws too. I'm just a regular Craw.

Ludwig: But of course. Now then, why did you join the Robbos?

Gus: I like to steal. But I'm smarter than Popple, so I know where to draw the line.

(Popple is still running around outside, screaming maniacally.)

Gus: Also I'm tough, and I've known Ishnail for a long time. He's a tougher Craw than I am, though, like a big brother to me, you might say.

Ludwig: Er, how tough are you?

Gus: I've bulked up on my defense. You wants stats? HP: 45, Att: 7, Def: 7

Ludwig: Wow, it would be extremely challenging to defeat you now, it would seem.

Gus: Not really. I hate the D-Down Pound and similar badges.

Ludwig: Those are rare now, however. Anyhoo, let's move on. So what have you contributed to Plit?

Gus: … Nothing, really. I'm pathetic.

Ludwig: Cheer up, there are more pathetic people than you. Like my moronic brother Morton.

Morton: HEY! How dare you, how could you use a subject, word, phrase similar to my name, identity, proclamation to insult, spurn, mock, descry me, your brother, Morton Koopa Jr, the-

(A ten-ton weight falls on Morton.)

Morton: Eeddeeg gaag. (Wedding cake.)

Ludwig: Hmm, that hasn't been done in a while.

Gus: … You're right.

Ludwig: Of course I am. Now what can you tell us about Dark Craw?

Gus: Craws and Dark Craws are like gatespeople who guard secret areas and stuff. Dark Craws are more evil and demonic, and thus their stats are more powerful than ours.

Ludwig: Why'd one appear in the Glitz Pit?

Gus: He's simply called the Gatekeeper. He's a rather weak Dark Craw that got made fun of by his kind and decided to try to prove himself in the Glitz Pit, which is stupid because the Glitz Pit ain't really that glitzy.

Ludwig: True, that. Why'd you guard that area anyway? You didn't need to, the area was quite hidden in itself.

Gus: Like I said, I like to steal, heh heh heh. I like to make a profit for my boss. Like I also said before, I'm meant to be a guard.

Ludwig: Hmm. I'm sure the audience has some questions for you.

Audience: Zzzzzz…

Ludwig: IF YOU DON'T GET UP AND ASK QUESTIONS, I'M GOING TO PLAY THE 9TH SYMPHONY… IN E-MINOR!!!

Audience: Zzzzzz…

Ludwig: You asked for it. Err… Turn the cameras off for now, this might be a little chaotic.

(Transmission ends.)

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Meta Knight: Is he gonna be okay?

Dr. Mario: He's right behind-a you.

Meta Knight: That was quick.

Dr. Mario: I am-a the best doctor-a anywhere, you-a know.

Kody: Hey guys, I'm back, and fine. Don't worry about me. So we lost that Interview?

Mimiru: I got it for you.

Kody: Wow, you did that for me? Thanks.

Zeus Guy: Also we locked up that Tira in one of your closets so she can't get away.

Kody: Awesome.

Dr. Mario: Here's-a your bill.

Nightmare: WHAT bill?!

Dr. Mario: … U-uh… No bill! Free of-a ch-charge!

(Dr. Mario locks himself in his office in a fetal position.)

Dr. Mario: Happy thoughts, happy-a thoughts…

Nightmare: Mwa ha ha. I actually like being a poser.

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Ludwig: And we're back, and the audience is too.

Audience: What?

Ludwig: Huh?

Audience: WHAT?!

Ludwig: *sigh*

(Ludwig zaps the audience with his wand.)

Goomba: I can hear again… somehow! Woohoo!

Homer:  WHY YOU LITTLE-

(Homer strangles the Goomba.)

Goomba: Ackgkgk!!!

Ludwig: Lovely. Now ask a question, or I shall implode you. Seat 56.

Rocky Wrench: How come you laugh after throwing a spear, regardless if it hits or is guarded or superguarded?

Gus: That's the Dark Craws. I don't do that. They're such cocky fools, they think they can beat you blindfolded.

Ludwig: Seat 57.

Wario: MONEY!

Ludwig: … Seat 58.

Wario: MORE MONEY!

Ludwig: Seat 59! Go to that seat and I shall implode you, Wario!

Wario: But I keep finding coins in every seat.

Ludwig: Seat 59, I said!

Wario: MONEY!!!

Ludwig: Just for that, I'll do something more horrible to you.

(Ludwig teleports Wario to Lethal Lava Land… in the middle of it.)

Wario: AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! THE PAIN!!!

Ludwig: Seat 60.

Waluigi: MONEY!

Ludwig: …

(Ludwig implodes Waluigi.)

Waluigi: … Ow.

Ludwig: Seat 61!

Jr. Troopa: How come sometimes when you hold your spear up, we CAN jump on you without taking damage? Or is that a glitch?

Gus: … I'd say that's a glitch. Anybody who's tried to jump on ME in particular has gotten poked feet.

Jr. Troopa: Darn it.

Ludwig: Seat 14.

Phantom Ember: Where do Dark Craws… live?

Gus: I don't know, but there's a pipe behind the mayor's house in Twilight Town that we both use to get to the pipe in front that leads to the Rogueport area. It's how I got here.

Phantom Ember: What about you?

Gus: There's another oasis far, far north of the Dry Dry Desert, and it's where I came from. That's rather personal, you know!

Phantom Ember: I don't care.

Ludwig: Nor do the rest of us. We're cold-hearted. Anyway, last question. Seat 100.

The Millenium Buzzy Beetle: Hey, Narrator Guy, could you call me Amaury?

Okay, Amaury.

Amaury: Thanks, that's my RPG name. Anyway, why'd you get into a fight with the Pianta syndicate?

Gus: … THAT'S a long story. But I can shorten it, thankfully. Well, when we, that is, the Robbos, came to Rogueport and set up business, we didn't notice at first that the Piantas had just done the same thing. Then we noticed each other, all right. They had built a casino over in the west end, too! So we decided to pull stuff on them, but they got on to us and started doing the same thing back, and so we were at war. But now we're kinda idle.

Ludwig: And that's a wrap.

(Ludwig looks behind the curtains.)

Ludwig: … Um… Wow…

Talim: Um, don't let Kody in here, make him do two more Interviews please! I have to hide all this!

Ludwig: I can barrier the area, if you'd like.

Talim: Sure.

(Ludwig does so.)

Kody: Ha ha, I'm back!

Talim: Um, you didn't see anything!

Kody: ???

Shadow Queen: You, black Boo. Interview me. Now.

Kody: No. You're definitely not on my list.

Shadow Queen: … DIE!

Kody: AHH!!!

(The Shadow Queen chases Kody around.)

Talim: … What a perfect distraction. Can you teleport them somewhere?

Ludwig: Yes.

(Ludwig sends them somewhere.)

Nightmare: Where'd you send them?

Ludwig: Guess.

On the moon...

Kody: YOU'LL NEVAH TAKE ME ALIVE!!! … Oh wait… I mean AHH!!!

Shadow Queen: I'll get you, and your little ego too!

(An Eggo falls on Grodus.)

Sir Grodus: Don't drag me into this!

(More Eggos land on Grodus.)

Sir Grodus: … I hate narrators.

Eggo-mania...

Lord Crump: I smell pancakes!

Sir Grodus: You're fired.

Lord Crump: Aww.

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