KODY interviews SIR GRODUS

By Kody

Tira: Hi!

Kody: BLAAAAAAARGH!!!

Tira: AHHHHHHHHH!!!

(Tira runs away screaming, and is taken in by the psychiatrics' clinic down the street.)

Kody: I love being a Boo. A black one especially. Anyway, my castle’s repaired, and I got my sanity back. Whiles I was insane Taki hit me on the head with a guitar, and I dreamt that Baby Mario got interviewed, and that Pokemaniac Joe got married to Clover… I think. Don’t ask how. Now I’m going to interview Sir Grodus.

Audience: Where are we?

Kody: On the moon. Without my crew. Don’t ask how.

Audience: Can we ask how there is a clinic on the moon? And a street?

Uh…

Kody: Blame Grodus. Oh, and here’s the fiend himself, Sir “Grody” Grodus!

Sir Grodus: Ew! Slang nicknames! That's despicable!

Daffy Duck: I'll see you in the highest court, buster!

Sir Grodus: Aww.

Kody: Oh wait, I'll need cameramen.

X-Nauts: WE ARE X-NAUTS!

Kody: Man the cameras, idiots.

X-Nauts: Only the dude - I mean - we mean - uhhh… er, only Grodus tells us what to do!

Sir Grodus: Do what he says.

X-Nauts: YESSIR DUDE! I MEAN - WE-

Kody: SHUT UP!!! MAN THE CAMERAS!!!

X-Nauts: …

Kody: Thank you. Now then, Grodus, how can you survive while only a head?

Sir Grodus: I have an organic brain absorbed into a microchip, which is in my head. As long as my head stays intact, I cannot die.

Kody: Impressive. Who gave it to you?

Sir Grodus: I bought it off of E. Gadd for 1,000 coins! The fool never knew what was coming to him! BLECK HAK HAK HAK!

Kody: You swindler. Anyway, what are those things that swirl around you?!

Sir Grodus: Grodus Xs. They protect me with magic and science.

Kody: Hmm… I'm slightly suspicious that something involving Dark Koopa  is going to happen, but at the same time I'm sure it's not. Oh well.

Sir Grodus: ???

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Tira is sitting on a sofa with Mentok the Mind-Taker taking notes nearby.)

Mentok: Ah, yes, that's all good. Okay now, tell me about your childhood.

Tira: Sure. Well you see-

Mentok: *checks watch* Ooh, time for my lunchbreak!

(Mentok goes to the door)

Mentok: Be sure to buy some souvenirs on your way out!

Tira: HEY! I'm not done y-

Mentok's voice (in her head): MENTOK COMMANDS YOU TO BE SILENT!

(Tira goes mute.)

Tira: !!!

Mentok: And that's why they call me the mind…TAKER! Oo-wee-oo!

(Mentok leaves.)

Tira: …

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kody: So you hired Lord Crump?

Sir Grodus: Yes.

Kody: May I ask why in the world you would do THAT?!

Sir Grodus: He's an X-Naut, of course! And the most competent one! Plus he and the other X-Naut PhDs built some uber-cool stuff.

Kody: You mean that scrap heap called Magna or whatever it's called?

Sir Grodus: Magnus von Grapple. And it's currently being rebuilt so it won't be a scrap heap anymore.

Kody: I thought you gave up on world domination?

Sir Grodus: Who said we're using Magnus for that? I was thinking of using him in the Glitz Pit.

Kody: Okay, so why is your current locale Poshley Heights?

Sir Grodus: Crump picked it. I wanted to go back to the moon base.

Kody: Well you're here now! Or, where it was. You could build a new one.

Sir Grodus: No way! It took us days to build it!

Kody: … That's a good thing.

Sir Grodus: Ohh…

Kody: Yeah… Now if you've figured it out, let's move on. Why do you hold that rod in your hands? What's so special about it?

Sir Grodus: I've had it since the day I came into being! Also, I can summon multiple elemental abilities with it! Most of them are defensive, however.

Kody: You've got the Grodus Xs for that.

Sir Grodus: Doesn't hurt to be prepared.

Kody: Hmph, true. Or maybe not… derrrrrr… Audience questions! Oh wait, they're all X-Nauts.

Sir Grodus: That's a good thing.

Kody: No it's not. I'll be right back.

(Kody makes a scary face and vanishes.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nightmare: Well? Where were you?

Tira: *hand motions*

Nightmare: …?

Tira: On the moon. Hey, I can speak!

Nightmare: That's not possible.

Bobbery: Anything's possible with a super-duper Bob-omb cannon!

(Bobbery self-destructs. BOOM!!!)

Nightmare: ???

Tira: ???

Bobbery: Ow, that felt good. Let's have another!

(Bobbery self-destructs repeatedly.)

Nightmare: I need something to destroy. I'm restless.

Tira: You could try that Mentok guy.

Nightmare: Ah, good idea. I hate him anyway.

(Nightmare and Tira leave.)

Bobbery: And another! And another!

(BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM!!! Bobbery suddenly collides with a tree and blows it skyward.)

Bobbery: Ow… Oops.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kody: Ah, I finally found another audience in a can… Hey, was that a flying tree?

Sir Grodus: It would appear that way.

Kody: Okay. Got any water?

Sir Grodus: I have dehydrogenated canola oil. Does that help?

Kody: Oh wait, can't you use that thing of yours?

Sir Grodus: No, I can't. I'll tell you why later.

(A random X-Naut gets a hose from out of nowhere and fires water at the can. It bursts into an audience on a stand.)

Kody: Thank you. Now then, seat 56.

Banzai Bill: Why did you turn to the Shadow Queen as a tool of domination?

Sir Grodus: That liar Beldam tricked me, as you very well know!

Banzai Bill: Well didn't you have a thought of your own? Aren't you smart enough to know that Beldam is a trickster?

Sir Grodus: Err… no.

Kody: Pathetic. Seat 2.

Cataquack: Where'd you X-Nauts come from, anyway?

Sir Grodus: We don't know ourselves. That memory chip burned my past memories away- HEY! That chip was defiled! E. Gadd tricked me!!!

Kody: And you just now figured that out? How slow are you? Anyway, seat 745.

Spriteling: I'm shiny!

Kody: And now you're not.

(Kody implodes the Spriteling using one of those cheap don't-ask-how methods.)

X-Nauts: How?

Kody: *TWITCH* Seat 6…

Tanoomba: Do you have any attacks without that stupid stick of yours?

Sir Grodus: GRRRRRRR… No.

Kody: Come on, Grody, you exist to be insulted. Take it like an Iron Cleft.

Iron Clefts: WAAAAH!!!

Kody: … Bad example. Seat 0.

???: I'm a random… something! Anyway what DID happen to that thing of yours after your body vanished?

Sir Grodus: We still have it. I'm being made a new prosthetic body so I can use it again.

Kody: Mentok the Mind-Taker? What are you doing here?!

Mentok: If they ask, I was never here. And I shall know if you told them! Oo-wee-oo!

(Mentok runs away.)

Kody: What was that about?

(Nightmare and Tira run over Sir Grodus's head.)

Sir Grodus: Ow.

Kody: Ah, Nightmare. Oh, THAT'S Tira, the one I scared off. Heh, sorry.

Tira: *vein pulse*

Nightmare: Where'd he go?

Kody: Well, where'd he go, guys?

(The X-Nauts point everywhere.)

Nightmare: … That doesn't help.

Kody: You just gotta pick the right one. I don't know, myself. Anyway, I gotta get back to the castle. Bye.

(Kody turns around and is hit by a flying tree.)

Kody: Ow. *KO'd*

Nightmare: Great. Now I'm bored.

Tira: How about hitting that head?

Nightmare: Another good idea.

(Nightmare takes out his steel paddle.)

Sir Grodus: Wait! No! Stop! I'm no hockey puck! NO-

(WHACK! Grodus' head flies into each of the cameras, destroying them.)

Sir Grodus: Pain.

X-Nauts: AHHHHH!!!

(Each X-Naut begins to scream and run around randomly, bumping into walls and each other.)

Nightmare: Ah, chaos as usual, I love it. End the transmission already!

Tira: It's been off for about five seconds.

Nightmare: Figur-

Did you like this submission?
If you would like to send some feedback to the author of this submission, please complete this form.

What's your name?
This is required.

What's your Email address?
Only enter this if you would like the author to respond.

How do you rate this submission?
Please rate on a scale of 1 - 10, 10 being best.

Does this submission belong in Little Lemmy's Land?
Little Lemmy's Land is designed to include the top ten percent of submissions.

Would you like to see more from this author?

Comments and suggestions:

 
ZY.Freedback.com: Stunning, fast, FREE!
FREE feedback form powered by Freedback.com
Freedback.com

Have an Interview or a suggestion of your own? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Interviews.
Go back to my main page.