Lord Crump: Welcome to my X-tra special…

Lemmy: Lemmy’s Interview!

Lord Crump: Buh huh? Who are you?

Lemmy: I’m Lemmy, you know, I have cool rainbow hair!

Lord Crump: Ohhhh… Sure, I think one of Grodus’s spy cameras had you on the screen once.

Lemmy: What?

Lord Crump: Uh nothing, now let’s get on with this Interview. Today’s guest is Bedlam!

(Beldam appears from the shadows.)

Beldam: My name is BELDAM, not Bedlam!

Lord Crump: Ok, well Beldam, here’s a question: How old are you?

Beldam: Excuse me?!

Lord Crump: (to Lemmy) I think she needs a hearing aid.

Lemmy: Yeah, let’s see if she can hear now. HOW OLD ARE YOU?

Beldam: I can hear perfectly fine, it’s just that I hate it when people ask me that.

Lemmy: I’m not a person, I’m a Koopaling!

Beldam: (sarcastically) Ha ha…

Lord Crump: Well?

Beldam: I’m over 2,000 years old.

Lord Crump: Now that’s what I call over the hill!

Beldam: Shut up!

Lemmy: Watch your language.

Beldam: Whatever, Stupid Shell!

Lemmy: Stupid Shell?

Doopliss: She has names for everyone. Mine's Freak Sheet and yours is Stupid Shell. I call her Big Nose.

Beldam: Quiet, Freak Sheet!

Doopliss: See?

Lord Crump: Okay, now it’s time for-

Lemmy: Audience questions!

Lord Crump: Is this guy gonna finish all of my-

Lemmy: Sentences!

Lord Crump: Yeah, you in seat 555.

Vivian: Beldam, why are you mean?

Beldam: It’s a hobby.

Lord Crump: Oooooooook, you in seat… Pasta?

Mario: My name is Grodus.

Grodus: No it’s NOT!

Lord Crump: Whatever, you in seat 77.

Mario: My name is Beldam.

Lord Crump: You again! X-NAUTS, PUNISH HIM!

(Mario is catapulted into the sky and hits a blimp.)

Lord Crump: Seat 64,321.

Pennington: So I was wondering why your name is Mario.

Beldam: Aaaaak! My name is Beldam!

Lemmy: Seat 987,654,321.

Vivian: Why are you nice only to Marilyn?

Beldam: She’s so stupid she doesn’t even realize when I’m trying to be mean to her! (mockingly) Guh huh!

Marilyn: Guh?

Vivian: ...

Lord Crump: Why are you the leader of your group?

Beldam: For many reasons. I’m short, rude, bossy, and I have anger displacement issues.

Lord Crump: (sarcastically) Oh really? I haven’t noiced that!

Beldam: I’m mad at you, Crump! Your new name is X-Snot!

Vivian: Gee, there’s a surprise, she’s always so mean.

Beldam: Shut up, Marilyn.

Marilyn: GUH!

Lord Crump: Ok, time for Wheel of Crud.

Beldam: Wheel of Crud?

Lemmy: Just spin it!

(Beldam spins the wheel while Mario finally falls down landing on Morton.)

Lord Crump: Congratulations! You won the dumpster!

(Beldam is thrown into a dumpster and pushed down a hill.)

Lord Crump: Buh huh huh and this has been an X-ceptional part of…

Lemmy: Lemmy’s interviews!

Mario: (singing to the Frosted Flakes theme) Muuuushroooms, thy’re more than good, they’re NASTY!

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