Went: Hello, and welcome to Lemmy’s Interview show! Eh, why’s Pink at the camera?

Lemmy: She is working until she pays me the other camera.

Went: SHE?!

Lemmy: Well, I took her to a therapist friend of mine...

Pink: (looking to nowhere) I like shiny things...

Went: Well, I’m having Wario selling the tickets...
 

Wario: Eh! A ticket costs 50 coins!

Bowser: That’s almost three times more expensive!
 

Went: Well, let’s interview Goomba! Goomba! Where are you? GOOMBA!!!
 

Wario: And you? You don’t buy any ticket?

Goomba: I’m the interviewee! You want me to pay?

Wario: The interviewee? Suuuure. PAY OR GO!

Goomba: I don’t have money!

Wario: Return with some!

Goomba: But I live in the other side of the city!

Wario: Oooh! I won’t be able to sleep this nigth! Next?

Waluigi: Hi!

Wario: 50 coins!

Waluigi: But... I’m your brother!

Wario: My brother? Suuuure...
 

Went: Well, since he isn’t here, I have to find a new interviewee... Let me search the Internet... Google: cheap interesting interviewee... 17845903 results! Ok, I will chose this one: number 346754. Uh! It’s very interesting!

Lemmy: I’m bored...

Went: Eh, I let me do a phone call and you will have the interviewee!

(Went takes out a phone.)

Lemmy: Huh? How?

Went: I always carry a phone between segments two and three! Hi? No, I’m not Petey! Sorry. Hehe, wrong number. Hi? Pizza Fast? I want a pizza with bacon and tuna. To Lemmy’s Land. Twenty minutes? Okay!

Lemmy: And?

Went: Just wait...

40 minutes later...

Red Snifit: Here you are! The pizza!

Went: You are faster than I though! Would you like to be interviewed?

Red Snifit: Ok! I have nothing better to do...
 

Goomba: I’m back with the 50 coins!

Wario: I have only ten tickets left! Now the price is 75 coins!

Goomba: Ehh... Look! A chest full of coins in this dark alley!

Wario: I’m not THAT stupid...

Goomba: And two double burgers!

Wario: COME WITH... Ehh! Don’t try to ente-

The door closes.
 

Goomba: *pant, pant* I’m here!

Went: Too late! I have found a more interesting interviewee! But you can have this pizza.

Goomba: I don’t like tuna!

Went: Then I will eat it.

Lemmy: ARE YOU GOING TO START THE INTERVIEW TODAY?

Went: *yum* Oh, yeahm. With usm *yum*, the Red Snifmitm *yum*

Red Snifit: Hi!

Lemmy: The?

Red Snifit: Yes! I’m the only Red Snifit on Plit!

Went: Whatm game arem you in *yum*?

Lemmy: PLEASE STOP EATING!

Red Snifit: I appear in level 3-3 in Super Mario Bros. 2.

Went: Why do you wear these red robes?

Red Snifit: Well, I previously was a Shy Guy. Wart found me in the Shy Guy army and offered me more money and holidays. Then he promoted me to Snifit.

Went: So Snifits are promoted Shy Guys...

Red Snifit: Yeah. Regular Shy Guys are very weak. The ones that survive two or three difficult missions are promoted and given a mask that lets us to shot bullets.

Went: In which way does your color make you different?

Red Snifit: Well, gray ones can shoot more bullets but can’t move, blue ones can move a little but can shoot fewer bullets, and me... I can move as I want, but I rarely shoot a bullet.

Went: Why did you keep your red robes?

Snifit: Because they let me move better and because I like red!

Luigi: There are very strange people around the world...

Went: Ok, the audience for sure will have questions for such an interesting character.

...

Red Snifit: *sob* No one likes me...

Went: You are making him cry! Someone, ask something!

General Guy: Why did you quit from my army?

Red Snifit: Because I discovered that your tank has whells so you don’t need any people to carry it!

Shy Guy: What?

General Guy: Hehe... He is just kidding! And don’t let my precious tank fall!

Koopa: How can Goombas-

Went: I’m starting to get tired of you.

Koopa: Ok, then how does your mask work?

Red Snifit: We have an entire munition in our pockets. We connect our mask to it by a tube, and simply press a button to shoot a bullet.

Went: Another question?

Chuck Quizmo: Kaaa-wizzz! How many fingers does a Toad have? Four, five, or zero?

Red Snifit: Umm... Err...

Toad: Five!

Chuck Quizmo: You can’t answer!

Mario: One, two, three... five!

Bart Simpson: Four!

Red Snifit: I know! Zero! Frogs don’t have fingers!

Chuck Quizmo: Correct!

Wart: Objection!

Went: ...six, seven, eight...

Chuck Quizmo: Those options are invalid!

Went: ... Ten OUT OF HERE!

Red Snifit: Wait! I want my Star Piece!

Went: If I weren’t paying Fawful, I would wonder why I’m paying him. Last question!

Boo: What are Snufits?

Red Snifit: They are spirits of dead Snifits revived by Magikoopas.

Went: Like all the ghosts here. Well, I think that’s the end of the Interview...

E. Gadd: Snifit! What are you doing here? You are fir-

Red Snifit: Oh, boss, I’m quitting.

E. Gadd: -ed. What? You can’t do this to me!

Red Snifit: Yes, I have been thinking about this, and I have decided that I can do something more than deliver pizzas!

E. Gadd: But, but...

General Guy: I understand you, when he quit I felt like the world was falling on me.

Shy Guy: But what truly fell was your tank on us!

Went: Well, I like you, so I’m hiring you. You will be my third worker!

Goomba: Eh, I’m not working for you!

Went: Eh? I meant Wario!

Red Snifit: Do you mean that fat guy on a motorcyclist outfit running away with a bag full of coins?

Went: WHAAT? COME BACK HERE, YOU THIEF!

(Went starts chasing him.)

Red Snifit: My first official line! END TRANSMISSION!

Have an Interview or a suggestion of your own? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Interviews.
Go back to my main page.