(King Doopliss and Co. are seen standing in front of a supermarket.)
Ludwig from inside a box: Will you let me out yet? It’s been 3 days and I have to go to the bathroom.
King Doopliss: No. You’re never coming out.
Ludwig: But…
(Cloaked Figure kicks the box Ludwig’s in.)
King Doopliss: It’s really too bad Doopliss was able to escape. I guess we'll run into him someday.
(Doopliss walks out of the supermarket.)
King Doopliss: I knew that would work.
Doopliss: DAD, why do I always run into you lunatics?!
Lemmy: Because it appears you’re a member of our team now.
Doopliss: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
(Cloaked Figure hits Doopliss over the head with a shopping cart, knocking him out.)
King Doopliss: I like that he’s already beating people up even when we aren’t doing an Interview.
Lemmy: Nope, you’re wrong. You’re interviewing some random old person today.
King Doopliss: But they smell bad.
Lemmy: Not my problem.
(Lemmy pulls out an umbrella and flies away.)
King Doopliss: Stupid defying the laws of gravity...
(Kammy walks out of the supermarket and sits down on a nearby bench.)
King Doopliss: Well she’s old, she’s a Mario character, and I can probably tolerate her for a little while. Hag, I’m interviewing you right here, right now.
Kammy: Hey! I’ll have you know I’m not that old. I’m only 35.
King Doopliss: And you look 126. You don’t age well. Now to ask you questions, why did you replace Kamek?
Kammy: Kamek was getting on in years, and he and King Bowser had a terrible fight one day so Kamek just up and left.
King Doopliss: What does he do now?
Kammy: I think he went back to his hypnosis job in the Beanbean Kingdom. Oh, I believe on the side he helps with the Mario Parties.
King Doopliss: But why would Bowser pick you for the job?! In Paper Mario you had like 10 HP, less than a regular Magikoopa.
Kammy: What I lacked in power I made up for in smarts.
King Doopliss: Which reminds me, why were you a complete idiot in PM:TTYD?
Kammy: After my humiliating defeat to that Star Kid…
King Doopliss: Boy was it humiliating.
Kammy: …I went into training to become stronger. But during the training I hit my head a few too many times, making me less intelligent.
King Doopliss: What was your training regimen?
Kammy: It was Advanced Spells and Combat Tactics.
King Doopliss: Where did you learn those?
Kammy: At the Community College of Dark Land. Go Magikoopas!
King Doopliss: Why did you just yell “Go Magikoopas!”?
Kammy: Our mascot was a Magikoopa. I was the one wearing the mascot outfit.
King Doopliss: That doesn’t surprise me.
Kammy: Quiet, you.
King Doopliss: Let me respond in the following manner.
(5 seconds later, Kammy is tied to the bench and her groceries have been eaten.)
Kammy: But I didn’t have groceries.
Cloaked Figure: Then what did I just eat?
Kammy: Makeup products and prune juice.
Cloaked Figure: Ewwwwwwwwwwww.
(He runs into the supermarket.)
King Doopliss: Well we’ll get one question from the next person who I don’t hate to walk out of the supermarket.
(Goombario walks out of the supermarket.)
King Doopliss: DAD NO!
(King Doopliss knocks Goombario out with a shopping cart.)
Kammy: Was that necessary?
King Doopliss: Yes.
Kammy: -_-‘
King Doopliss: No saying faces!
Kammy: -_-“
King Doopliss: What did I just say?!
Kammy: But…
King Doopliss: No, seriously, I don’t remember.
Kammy: -_-”’
(Luigi walks out of the supermarket.)
King Doopliss: Yo, Greeny, ask Haggy, here a question.
Luigi: I have a name, you know.
King Doopliss: Don’t care. Just ask.
Luigi: How come your only attack in Paper Mario was having a yellow block drop on the enemy?
Kammy: At the time it was my strongest spell.
Luigi: Man, you're way worse than Kamek. He’s actually powerful.
Kammy: At least my name is remembered more.
Luigi: I hate you all.
(He walks away.)
King Doopliss: Well that’s all the time we have for today. NOW GET OUT OF HERE!
(King Doopliss grabs the bench Kammy’s tied to and throws it in a nearby shopping cart. Then he pushes the cart into the nearest four-way intersection. Screams are heard.)
King Doopliss: At last she’s gone.
(Cloaked Figure walks out of the supermarket with a bag of prunes and makeup.)
King Doopliss: -_-””
Cloaked Figure: What? They tasted good.
Ludwig: I can’t breathe!
King Doopliss: Quiet, you!
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