KAMMY interviews KARMA KOOPA

By Kammy Koopa

Kammy: Welcome to another boring- sorry, slip of the tongue- exciting (not) Interview! Today I'm interviewing... Karma!

Peach: Don't forget about MEEEEE!

Kammy: Oh, yeah, my new secretary is Peach.

Peach: That's Miss Peach to you!

Kammy: Security!

(Peach jumps into the the prop tree that got Mario- and meets the same fate.)

Roy: Awww... I didn't even get to use my gym socks!

Kammy: Yuck!

Karma: Get on with the Interview so I can get back to Yoshi bashing!

Kammy: Works for me! So Karma, how long have you been with the Koopalings?

Karma: Well, I'm about their age, a little younger than Lemmy, and I showed up when I was about 10. I'm 14 now, but my weight is a secret, and don't you DARE blackmail Ludwig, Larry!

Larry: (sarcastically) Ooh, I'm so scared! They fat, ugly Yoshikoopa is gonna get me!

Karma: Security!

(Roy gets his sweatsocks and stuffs them into Larry's mouth.)

Roy: Mwaahahahaha!

Kammy: I'm getting tired of being surrounded by idiots... Who are your parents?

Karma: Well, personally, I forgot their names, but I remember that these freaky Goombas attacked our home, and I got lost in all the ruckus. I wandered around until about a year later when I stumbled into Castle Koopa. Well, actually they took me to prison when I got near, but hey, at least their mom cooks decently and there's someone worth beating up... Roy.

Iggy: Go get 'em, Karma!

(Roy punches his fist into his hands a few times, and Iggy runs away with Roy hot on his heels.)

Karma: Heh, heh- suckers!

Kammy: For the people reading this on the Internet, what color Yoshi are you and what color is your shell?

Karma: My shell is currently dark blue, but all I have to do is talk Wendy into having a sleepover and we (in a fake, girlier voice) like, so totally paint our shells. (normal) And as for my color skin, it's that aqua color of Yoshi that always does the second level of a world in Yoshi's Island.

Kammy: That was a long explanation... Last question before I leave it to the audience... What's your opinion on Koopas and Yoshis?

Karma: The Koopas are thickheaded, but they sure have good weapons! When me and Ludwig become queen and king, I'll make sure they learn better tactics. I mean, who lets an idiot like that-

(Mario is seen chewing on the electric pole outside.)

Karma: 3... 2... 1!

Mario: Owowowowowowowowowowowowowow!

Karma: -beat them? But for Yoshis, good riddens!

Kammy: It's the audience's turn! Seat UNREALISTICDOLL!

Barbie: I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie wor-

Kammy: Secur-

Roy (back from beating up Iggy): I know, I know!

(Roy grabs Barbie- for some strange reason she's about his height- and throws her into Sub-con.)

Kammy: Why do weird things alway happen on MY Interviews? Seat BIGMOUTH!

Morton (or is it Bessie Bass- the world may never know): Do you like Ludwig?

Karma: Grrrrrrrrrrr...

(Karma's skin turns red and she pounds Morton/Bessie Bass to pudding. The cameraman focuses on the beating Karma's giving Morton/Bessie Bass.)

Kammy: Hey, over here!

(Karma, the audience, and the cameraman pay no attention to her.)

Kammy: Hey, Wendy...

Five minutes later...

Wendy: AAAAAAAAAAAA!

Kammy: *clears her throat* Over here! Seat RECYCLER!

Good Guy (very rare type of Shy Guy): I thought that you were a very lo-ranking Koopa- no offense, Ma'am. Why are your spikes so large?

Kammy: First, I wanna give some background info. How long a Koopa's spikes on its shell are depends on its political ranking, and since Karma is very low-ranking, hers should be small.

Karma: My spikes are big 'cause King Koopa didn't want me to take offense and run away, which could result in Ludwig's- or my- death.

Kammy: Sorry, but that's all the time I have- 'cause it's my shift to babysit the Koopalings... It's time for... The Wheel of Embarassement! Wait... I forgot to harm Kamek in a totally random way. Hey Kamek!

Kamek turns his head towards his little sister and...

Kammy: Rob-omb! Did you know Kamek called you Mario's best friend?

Rob-omb runs to Kamek and... KA-BOOM!

Kammy: Mwahahaha! Wart, come on down!

Wart hops over, pushes the Wheel, and it lands on...

Kammy: Tomorrow I'll interview... Oh, shoot! Kamek!

Larry: (whispering to Rob-omb) Yeah, Susan called you Mario's best friend too.

Rob-omb jumps toward Susan and misses her and hits... Kammy!

Kammy: End- ow- Transmission...

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