(King Doopliss and Co. are in Koopa Village.)

Ludwig (still in the box): Can I come out?

King Doopliss: No.

Ludwig: Dang.

Cloaked Figure: Why are we here? I hate it here. It’s too happy here.

King Doopliss: Don’t ask me. Lemmy never tells me anything.

Lemmy: You’re going to interview one of Mario’s partners from Paper Mario.

King Doopliss: Which one?

Lemmy: Kooper.

King Doopliss: At least it’s not Goombario, he's worthless.

Goombario (from a distance): Hey!

King Doopliss: Sic him!

(Cloaked Figure jumps in a conveniently placed tank and gives chase.)

Doopliss: Why am I tied to this tree?

King Doopliss: To prevent you from running away.

Lemmy: Oh, and I was finally able to afford seats for an audience.

King Doopliss: I was wondering about those chairs made of trash.

Lemmy: Well sorry, we're still rebuilding your studio. I’m out of here.

(Lemmy explodes for no reason. Confetti flies everywhere.)

King Doopliss: He gets more random every time. So let’s begin.

(Kooper walk over and sits on a rock labeled Interviewee.)

King Doopliss: First question, how do you have a blue shell?

Kooper: Well blue was my favorite color when I was a kid, so I painted it blue.

King Doopliss: Why do you say was?

Kooper: Blue is not my favorite color now. My favorite color is black now.

King Doopliss: Then why don’t you paint your shell black?

Kooper: Because I would get sued by the black Axem Ranger, black Koopa Brother, and Anti Guy?

King Doopliss: Why would you get sued?

Kooper: Apparently the three of them bought the rights to wear black.

King Doopliss: But that doesn’t make sense!

Kooper: Hey, I don’t make the laws. I just follow them.

King Doopliss: Note to self, torture whoever makes the laws. Next question, why did you decide to join Mario?

Kooper: Well Mario helped me get my shell, which next to my life is the most important thing in the world, for me from those mean Fuzzies.

(Cloaked Figure drives the tank back, and in the process runs over four Koopas, three Goombas, and Ludwig.)

Ludwig: Ouch!

King Doopliss: Hey! No killing the audience members without permission from me.

Cloaked Figure: Sorry. But I did run Goombario over.

King Doopliss: And for that I’ll forgive you.

Ludwig: Did I mention I hate you?

King Doopliss: Only 300 times in the last 37 minutes.

Ludwig: Make it 301. I hate you.

King Doopliss: So Kooper, how did you do your Fire Shell attack?

Kooper: You couldn’t see this, but I used a Fire Flower to light the paint on my shell on fire, and then just shot myself at the enemy.

King Doopliss: Where did you keep those Fire Flowers?

Kooper: I only had one and I stored it in my shell.

King Doopliss: Then how did you do the move more then once?

Kooper: It was a Fire Flower passed down in my family. It never disappears.

King Doopliss: That’s doesn’t make sense.

Kooper: Well a lot of stuff on Plit doesn’t make sense.

King Doopliss: True. So why was Kolorado your hero?

Kooper: Well he’s one of the only famous good Koopas. Also he lived next door. So it was easy to steal his stuff and sell it on eBay.

Kolorado: Hey!

King Doopliss: Silence, you fool!

(King Doopliss throws a hammer at Kolorado, knocking him out.)

King Doopliss: What do you mean by good?

Kooper: He wasn’t evil.

King Doopliss: Wimp. Time for the audience to ask questions, during which I’ll be going to get some ice cream.

(King Doopliss leaves to go get ice cream..)

Cloaked Figure: Okay… I guess I’ll have to call seats. Seat 24- wait, I ran that one over, so seat 48.

Anti Guy: You'd better not think about painting your shell black!

Cloaked Figure: Okay…

(Cloaked Figure pulls out a bazooka and blows Anti Guy up.)

Cloaked Figure: Seat 12.

Birdo: Why do you wear that bandana of yours?

Kooper: I wear it because it was a gift from my mother when I was young.

Cloaked Figure: Seat 1.

Daisy: Which of the other partners did you get along with the best, and which of the partners did you hate the most?

Kooper: Well I got along with Bombette and Parakarry the best, and I just couldn’t stand Goombario or Bow.

Bow: Well your mom.

(She disappears.)

Kooper: My mom what? Bakes cookies? Sells my old stuff on eBay? Is secretly dating Koopa Koot?

Cloaked Figure: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Bad images go away!

Doopliss (still tied to the tree): You’re an idiot.

Kooper: You’re all mean.

Cloaked Figure: And proud of it. Seat 6.

Luigi: Will you join me on a quest to get rid of my annoying brother?

Kooper: No. Mario was nice to me. Of course he never returns my calls or letters.

(King Doopliss walks back licking a Cherry Popsicle.)

King Doopliss: Well that’s all the time we have for today. See you next time. NOW GET OUT OF HERE!

Ludwig: I would but I’m still in this box.

Doopliss: I would but I’m tied to this tree.

Kooper: I would but someone glued me to this rock.

King Doopliss: I was wondering where I put that glue.

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