(King Doopliss and Co. are on Mt. Rugged.)

King Doopliss: When is the new studio going to be ready?

Lemmy: When I feel like finishing it.

King Doopliss: Which is when?

Lemmy: Never.

King Doopliss: I guess I’ll have to make Ludwig and Doopliss fix it then.

Ludwig (still in box): Hey, don’t I get a say in this?!

King Doopliss: Do you want to go home in a body bag?

Ludwig: No.

King Doopliss: Then shut it.

Doopliss: How did you move the tree I was tied to?

King Doopliss: Don’t know or care.

Lemmy: Today you interview Monty Mole.

(Lemmy melts.)

King Doopliss: Author, can you stop with the random Lemmy leaving stuff?

King Doopliss’ Creator: But I need a running gag.

King Doopliss: Come up with another one.

King Doopliss’ Creator: But I don’t want to.

King Doopliss: Too bad.

King Doopliss’ Creator: I never get to do what I want.

(King Doopliss’ creator stomps off.)

Monty Mole: Are you done breaking the fourth wall?

King Doopliss: Yes. Let's get started, shall we? First question, why do you squint your eyes in most of the games you appear in?

Monty Mole: All Monty Mole’s have sensitive eyes, so to protect them we would squint our eyes.

King Doopliss: Why didn’t you guys wear sunglasses then?

Monty Mole: Well Bowser wouldn’t give them to us and we didn’t get paid much, so we had to make do.

King Doopliss: Then how did you get the sunglasses in Paper Mario?

Monty Mole: Eventually Bowser gave in and bought most of his army sunglasses. That made us very happy.

King Doopliss: Happy over cheap plastic sunglasses. How pathetic.

Monty Mole: You’re a jerk.

King Doopliss: Why thank you. So how come you join Mario on his baseball team?

Monty Mole: Well that wasn’t me, it was another Monty Mole. I believe he was getting paid 100 coins for every time he rounded the bases. That’s more than we make in a month. But afterwards Bowser was very mad, so mad that he fed that Monty Mole to the Chomps.

King Doopliss: Wow. Who knew Bowser could do something other than yell or kidnap Princess Peach?

Cloaked Figure: I’m hot.

King Doopliss: Then sit under the Doopliss Tree.

Doopliss: Oh, thanks for naming it!

King Doopliss: You’re welcome.

Doopliss: That was sarcasm.

King Doopliss: Quiet, you.

Doopliss: Why?

King Doopliss: Because I said so.

Doopliss: So?

(One beating later, Doopliss is covered in bumps and bruises.)

King Doopliss: Let's continue, shall we? So why were there two Monty Moles who had those cannons in Super Mario Sunshine?

Monty Mole: Bowser Jr. gave them those cannons to stop Mario. Of course they lost.

Mario: I kicked their butts but good.

King Doopliss: When did you get here?

Mario: I have been here the whole time.

King Doopliss: Well since you’re here, why don’t you ask a question?

Mario: How come the Monty Moles in Super Mario World were so fast?

Monty Mole: The predators in Dinosaur Land are extremely vicious and a Monty Mole would make a fine snake. So over generations we became faster in Dinosaur Land in order to survive.

King Doopliss: Why did the Monty Moles in the Beanbean Kingdom help Mario and Luigi?

Monty Mole: The Monty Moles in the Beanbean Kingdom hate Bowser so they were all but willing to help his mortal enemies.

King Doopliss: Well I’m out of questions, so let’s end this.

(King Doopliss pulls out a large mallet and starts to attack Monty Mole ala whack a mole.)

Cloaked Figure: NOW GET OUT OF HERE!

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