JOSHUA interviews SHROOBOID BRAT

By Joshua

Joshua: You know, CC, it’s time for a boss Interview.

CC: What about General Guy?

Joshua: He’s a wimp, so he doesn’t count. Bring me the Shrooboid Brat! Oh, by the way, I’m turning you into a… black Phantom Ember named Inferno who talks in a cool voice and likes killing people!

(Using a stolen wand from Josh Koopa, Joshua does exactly what he said he would.)

Joshua: If Shady Parakoopa gets to have a cool, flaming bodyguard, what’s stopping me?

Inferno: Why did you make me a Phantom Ember?

Joshua: Phantom Embers are stronger than regular Embers. Lakitu, get me the translator.

Lakitu: Yes, sir. By the way, have you completed those FFs yet?

Joshua: Shut up.

(20 minutes later, Joshua is at his studio, Inferno in the seat beside him, Shrooboid Brat opposite them, and Lakitu working the cameras.)

Joshua: Welcome to…

Lemmy: Lemmy’s Interview Show!

Joshua: Inferno.

(Inferno burns Lemmy with super-hot fire.)

Joshua: Cool. For the last time: it’s Joshua’s Super Interview Show! Today, we’re interviewing Shrooboid Brat. But first, let me introduce you to my new assistant. You knew him as Chargin’ Chuck. He’s now a psychotic killing machine! Audience, meet… Inferno!

(The audience cheers.)

Joshua: Today, my Interviewee will be wearing a translator. He is the Shrooboid Brat!

Lakitu: Hey, uh… how’d he get here? Shouldn’t he be in the past?

Joshua: Yeah, I’m gonna send him back after the Interview.

Shrooboid Brat (SB): Me want lollipop!

Joshua: Which brings me to my first question. How do you carry an infinite amount of lollipops in your *shudder* mouth?

SB: Nice lady Princess Shroob give me power to do that.

Joshua: That’s a dumb power.

Inferno: It’s not as stupid as being a ghost fireball.

Joshua: You’re cool! Anyway, what’s with the vote attack in Partners in Time?

SB: Me hold up lollipop. If audience holds more red, me attack Mario. If audience holds more green, me attack Luigi.

Joshua: What I mean is… why?

SB: Me give audience chance to vote for who they want me attack. Me think it because they no like them.

Joshua: Uh-huh. Are you in some way related to Princess Shroob?

SB: She my auntie. She really nice to me!

Joshua: You don’t say. Inferno, you got any questions?

Inferno: Yeah. Do you rule over an army of Shroobs?

SB: Me rule little army. When me get older, me get bigger army!

Inferno: Can I kill them?

SB: NO! Me want lollipop! Me need it!

Inferno: Don’t you still have your power?

SB: No. Mean Princess Shroob take it away after me lose to Marios. She big meanie!

Joshua: This little dude changes his mind fast. I think it’s time for audience questions! Lakitu, bring out the Super Number Randomizer!!!

Lakitu: I have a name! It’s John.

Joshua: Bring it out, Bill!

John: …

(John does so anyway.)

Joshua: We know how this works. RANDOMIZE!

Joshua: Block 58, Row 4, Seat 2!

Koopa Troopa: How old are you?

SB: Me 2…

Koopa Troopa: That’s pretty young!

SB: -00 years old.

Koopa Troopa: (.)_(.)!

Joshua: RANDOMIZE!

Joshua: Block 654, Row 684, Seat 5!

Tubba Blubba: I’m hungry. Are there any Boos here?

(All Boos in the audience leave, screaming.)

Joshua: You got a question, or what?

Tubba Blubba: Can I eat him?

(Tubba is pointing at Inferno.)

Joshua: My God, no! You got a question for the interviewee?

Tubba: The cap you Shroobs wear, is it a sign of anything?

SB: Yes. It mean how strong you are. Bigger cap is, stronger you are.

Joshua: RANDOMIZE!

Joshua: Block 4, Row 47, Seat 465!

Wario: Money!

Joshua: Seat beside him…

Waluigi: I’m scared of seats!

Joshua: Seat beside him…

Mario: CHEESE!

Joshua: Inferno, let’s tag-team ‘em!

(Inferno rams into them, causing them to catch on fire, and Joshua uses his wand to shoot petrol, rocket fuel, dynamite, and Bob-ombs at them.)

Joshua: BARRIER!

(Joshua then puts a shield around the morons, the bombs, and Bowser, trapping them inside and blowing them to kingdom come.)

Joshua: THAT was cool.

Inferno: Let’s just move on to the next question.

Joshua: RANDOMIZE!

Joshua: Block 45, Row 54, Seat 247!

Boomerang Bro: What flavor were your lollipops?

SB: They were whatever me wanted them be.

Tubba: Even Boo-flavored?

SB: Even Boo-flavored.

Tubba: I want that power!

Joshua: I know! Go back in time and ask Princess Shroob for that power! She’ll almost certainly give it to you!

Tubba: To Peach’s castle! And E. Gadd’s time machine!

(He leaves.)

Joshua: Well, that’s all we have time for today, so join me next time on Joshua’s Super Interview Show! End Transmission, baby!

(A shadowy hand reaches out of a warp pipe and grabs Joshua, pulling him in.)

Joshua: That is so llllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaammmmmmme!

John: BOSSMAN!!!

Inferno: You care about him?

John: He had my money!

Inferno: He had mine too! GET HIM!!!

(They jump in after him.)

END TRANSMISSION

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