RED SNIFIT interviews ROCKET GUY

By Went

Went: Well, this is your first day so I’m letting you do this Interview.

Red Snifit: Yay!

Fawful: Eh! I didn’t do any Interview! I have fury!

Went: You are the security guy!

Doopliss: Nor did I!

Went: Are you still here?

Wario: And me? I want to do an Interview!

Went: ... What are you doing here? Wait... GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK, YOU THIEF!

(Wario goes out running. Went starts chasing him.)

Went: Stop or I will get orange!

Red Snifit: Umm, well... Who will I interview?

(Goomba starts jumping while wearing a big hat that says "ME! ME!")

Red Snifit: I would interview you, but you know the rules: no talking clothes allowed.

Goomba: Grrr...

Red Snifit: But since I don’t know who should I interview, you can do.

Goomba: YES! AT LEAAARGH!

(A Shy Guy on a rocket fell through the ceiling and smashed Goomba.)

Goomba: Owww...

Red Snifit: Great. My first day and the studio is already broken at the 18th line. Who are you?

Shy Guy: A Shy Guy on a rocket. A Rocket Guy, as Lord Bowser calls us.

Red Snifit: ... What are you doing here?

Rocket Guy: Cut and paste, eh? Are you feeling lazy today?

Red Snifit: Shut up and answer!

Rocket Guy: I was looking for enemies around Bowser’s Castle, and my rocket went crazy.

Red Snifit: Is Bowser’s Castle floating in space again?

Rocket Guy: No, but the rocket is faster than Ostros and Autobombs.

Red Snifit: When were you created?

Rocket Guy: We Rocket Guys were created to protect Moltz and Bowser’s castles in Yoshi’s Island DS.

Red Snifit: Had rockets already been created then?

Rocket Guy: Yeah, but their quality was so poor that Lord Bowser brought some from the future.

Red Snifit: Did you really understand that past-future plot thingy?

Rocket Guy: Don’t ask me! I’m new here. I only say what the oldest guys have told me.

Red Snifit: Well, I think it’s time for audience questions.

Yoshi Kid: Can I play with the rocket?

Rocket Guy: No! It’s a hi-tech weapon, very sensitive, designed to transport Shy Guys only! And I have my CD collection inside! Only I can touch it!

(The Rocket Guy touches it and the rocket blasts off with him.)

Rocket Guy: AHHHHHHHHhhhh...

Koops: Eh! Wait! I have a question for you!

Yoshi Kid: Does that mean no?

Goomba: I feel flat...

The Rocket Guy reappears through the wall.

Rocket Guy: -hhhHHHHHHHHH!

(The Rocket Guy crashes into the other wall. The rocket stops.)

Rocket Guy: Oww...

Red Snifit: Is there a doctor in the room?

Mario: Yes!

Red Snifit: ...

(Mario eats a Megavitamin and turns into... Doctor Mario!)

Doctor Mario: And my diagnosis is... he has been hit in the head with something!

Red Snifit: And?

Doctor Mario: The treatment is: wetting him with water and waiting.

Red Snifit: ... You are a genius.

Doctor Mario: Thanks!

Rocket Guy: My head...

Red Snifit: Are you feeling better?

Rocket Guy: Yes, but... My rocket! It’s broken! Ohh, King Bowser is going to kill me!

Red Snifit: Yes, and now you aren’t a Rocket Guy anymore, so... Bye!

Shy Guy: But but but...

Lemmy: You haven’t done any audience questions!

Red Snifit: Wait a moment.

(Red Snifit goes out of the studio. An explosion and a big scream can be heard. Suddenly, a Rocket Guy falls through the ceiling.)

Rocket Guy: WHO IS THE  %&$”)&*^`%$ WHO HAS SHOT MY ROCKET?!

Red Snifit: How dare you break MY ceiling?! Now you must let my audience interview you!

Rocket Guy: But but but...

Red Snifit: Enough buts for today! Koops, ask or something!

Koops: At least! Why do you drive so kamikaze-like?

Rocket Guy: Well, we have a cannon inside, but it doesn’t leave room for us so we can’t use it. Plus, the controls are inside too, so we can only move the rocket in the direction we want to go.

Shyster: Do you really like rockets?

Rocket Guy: Yes! They are cool and fast!

Red Ninjakoopa: Who did create them? They look really cool...

Rocket Guy: According to what Lord Bowser told us, the greatest mind on Plit!

(Everybody looks at E. Gadd.)

E. Gadd: Huh? Am I the greatest mind on Plit? Thanks!

Ludwig: Oh, man, it was ME!

Koops: This explains its awful design.

(Suddenly, the Yoshi Kid runs to the rocket.)

Yoshi Kid: Ha! I will fly to space and all my friends on the Island will die from envy!

Rocket Guy: No! Don’t touch it! Only Shy Guys can touch it!

Yoshi Kid: I have already heard that! And no one will stop me!

Rocket: *BEEP* THIEF SYSTEM ACTIVATED. THE ROCKET WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN–

Rocket Guy: I told you not to touch it!

Everyone: AAAHHHH!

Rocket: SELF-DESTRUCT SYSTEM FAILED.

Red Snifit: Oh, we forgot Ludwig made it.

Ludwig: Grrr...

Rocket: RANDOM EXPLOSION ACTIVATED. THE ROCKET WILL EXPLODE IN FIVE, TWO, EIGHT-

Red Snifit: What?

Rocket: THREE, ZERO, SEVEN!

BOOM!

Went: Now you are going to pay me with interest!

Wario: I-I’m sure we can solve this like civilized people...

(A big explosion is heard.)

Wario: Eh, wasn’t your studio near there?

Went: Don’t tell me stupid things, and pay me NOW! I’m serious!

Wario: *sigh* Please, end transmission now!

Went: That will cost 500 coins...

Wario: Awww...

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