Kody: AHH! I guess I’ll hide in this conveniently placed teleport room.

Shadow Queen: YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE!

(The Shadow Queen enters the room.)

Kody: AGH!

Shadow Queen: Now you’re–

*RUMBLE*

Shadow Queen: -mine?

(They are teleported REALLY cheesily into a dark, dark room.)

Dark Koopa: (spooky voice) With a dark, Dark Koopa.

…

Dark Koopa: What’s your problem?

I’m underpaid.

Dark Koopa: So am I. Severely. Let’s riot. About money.

Okay.

Lemmy: You don’t get paid. Remember, you’re all my slaves.

Dark Koopa: … Sure we are. And you rule Ice Land. By the way, does anybody know why we’re standing in a dark, dark room?

Lemmy: With a dark, Dark Koopa?

Dark Koopa: You’re not funny.

(They all leave. Except for me. I never leave. Mwa ha ha. Anyway, let’s get back to Kody.)

Kody: Nooo! I’m cornered!

Shadow Queen: Interview me, you fool!

Kody: Don’t make me bite my arm like a trapped coyote!

Shadow Queen: And just what good will that do you?

Kody: I don’t know, but I’m scared out of my wits. Despite the fact that there aren’t any exclamation marks in these two sentences.

Shadow Queen: I SAID INTERVIEW ME, YOU SWINE!!!

Kody: … Fine. But I won’t like it.

Shadow Queen: I never said you have to. And since there are no cameras, take out a notepad.

(Bobby and his Pichu take out notepads.)

Kody: What the? Who’s there? I can’t see too well in the dark, even if I am a Boo.

Bobby: It’s the evil voice in your head.

Kody: Oh, hi Bobby.

Pichu: Quick! He’s on to us!

(They dive into the Shadow Queen’s mouth.)

Shadow Queen: Needs some salt.

Kody: Ummmm… okay. I did see that… and now I wish I didn’t. Wait… this…

(The Shadow Queen pours some salt in her mouth.)

Shadow Queen: Much better.

Kody: MY 100TH INTERVIEW?! *SOB* This is great, just great, completely wasted on someone I really didn’t want to interv–

Shadow Queen: [size=”18”]INTERVIEW ME!!![/size]

(The Shadow Queen twitches.)

Kody: YAAAAH!!! All right already, don’t freak me out more than I need to be! Umm… So how are you a shadow queen?

Shadow Queen: [i]The Shadow Queen. Long ago I used to rule the large area surrounding Rogueport, but some people who apparently called themselves “heroes” came and sealed me away in that tomb in the Palace of Shadow. Over the time I spent there, my body and spirit vanished and the only thing that remained was my shadow, hence me. They did that because they thought I was a terrible ruler.

Kody: I wouldn’t argue with that.

Shadow Queen: SILENCE!!!

Kody: *gulp* Uh…

Slimer49’r: NOISE!!!

(Slimer49’r starts banging a drum loudly.)

Shadow Queen: That is a loathsome pun.

(The Shadow Queen teleports Slimer49’r to Bowser’s Castle.)

Bowser: Ah, just in time for my toenail cleaning!

Trollish Beastfighter: And mine!

Slimer49’r: Mother…

Shadow Queen: Ask another question, fool.

Kody: S-sure… Why do you own three dragons?

Shadow Queen: They saw me for my great power and decided to become my servants. Bonetail is the greatest of them, but he’s been stuck in the Pit of 100 Trials ever since I was banished. Gloomtail is still with me, and Hooktail… I have no idea. No doubt that she’s gorging on mortal souls, ha ha ha…

Kody: And, er, what about Beldam, Marilyn, Vivian, and Doopliss?

Shadow Queen: Who’s the last one?

Kody: Doopliss.

Shadow Queen: I have never heard of him.

Doopliss: I’m standing right in front of you, miss.

Shadow Queen: Oh, you. I just had no notion of your name. Sorry about that.

Doopliss: Aww…

Shadow Queen: And the Shadow Sirens are still with me, yet they seem to be increasingly stubborn nowadays.

Kody: I’ll bet they are…

Shadow Queen: Why? Do you know something?!

Kody: U-uh, no…

(Dasina-chan slaps Kody.)

Kody: OW! Who did that?!

Dasina-chan: I did! I don’t know why, I just did. And, um, maybe it’s because I thought you were Haraku. *shifty eyes*

Kody: He’s not a ghost.

Shadow Queen: Why thank you, that saved me the trouble.

Dasina-chan: …

Kody: Umm… Let’s move on before I get slapped again.

*SLAP*

Dasina-chan: Hehe.

Kody: Grr… Now I’m actually getting angry. Anyway, how can you take control of somebody’s body?

Shadow Queen: Like this.

Kody: I won’t be able to see it well… Not that I want to…

Shadow Queen: Too bad.

(The Shadow Queen possesses Clover, who is nearby.)

E-Man: HEY!

Octorock: I want to squash Morton.

Morton: U phail. LOLZ.

Octorock: GASP! Insulting me with 1337 code! How dare you?!

(Octorock chases Morton around.)

Clover: Heeeelp… meeeee…

Kody: Hey, that’s pretty cool!

E-Man: …

(The possession ends.)

Shadow Queen: No need to give applause, I flatter myself.

Clover: Eee… I have wittle fawy wins… eee… *THUD*

Kody: Haha, that was funny. Okay, heh, feeling a little better now. So why did you want to possess Peach?

Shadow Queen: She had an unusual amount of spiritual energy inside her but couldn’t use it. I knew that if I could possess her I would be able to bring that energy out of her and regenerate my body and bring another wave of darkness down on the world, ha ha ha!

Kody: Uh, getting scared again…

Shadow Queen: Good.

Kody: Uh, is anybody gonna help me here?

E-Man: Uh oh! Just got a call from the mayor of Toad Town! The Shy Squad is robbing the bank! Sorry, Kody.

P.T. Piranha: SUPERFIST OF THE NOSEHAIR: FORM GIANT SUBMARINE!!!

(A giant sardine falls onto the floor.)

P.T.: QUICK! Get a paddle and start rowing!

E-Man: But that’s a–

P.T.: Silence, non-believer!

Kody: Uhm… Help?

Melissa: For once I’m actually going to stand by you.

Mark: So will I.

Shadow Queen: Very well.

(The Shadow Queen turns them into Goombas.)

Kody: O.O

Mario: GOOMBAS!!! MUST KILL!!!

Melissa: AHH!!! RETREAT! RETREAT–

*SQUISH SQUISH*

Kody: I am completely shocked.

Mark: I am in intense pain right now.

Shadow Queen: I love being evil.

Fawful: I HAVE FURY!

Shadow Queen: Go have fury in another place, or I’ll enslave you.

Kody: I really hate you and fear you. Let’s move on before anything happens to me…

Shadow Queen: Agreed.

Kody: What about the Palace’s foot soldiers: the Swoopulas, Dark Wizzerds, and Phantom Embers?

Shadow Queen: They are all under my power. They do not leave their positions unless I command it.

Kody: Okay, and what about Sir Grodus and the X-Nauts?

Shadow Queen: Them?! Mwahaha! They were the perfect tools to release me and bring me the one I needed to rejuvenate myself! I sent Beldam to spin a tale to that fool Grodus who believed that if I was set free he would command me. But nobody commands me, I command the world. Or else… Are you getting this all down?

Kody: (checking notepad) Most regretfully, yes.

Pokemaniac Joe: I’ll get you for what you did to Clover!

Shadow Queen: *EVIL EYE*

Joe: … In a year.

E-Man: Hey! She’s my assistant, you know!

P.T.: A LITTLE HELP, PLEASE!!!

Joe: I want her!

E-Man: I need her!

Joe: I don’t care!

E-Man: I’ll give you 50,000 coins.

Joe: No. She’s worth more than money.

(They continue to argue.)

Voice: I thought I was the only one who could do that evil eye thingy.

Voice 2: Shh!

Kody: ???

Shadow Queen: Continue, you wimpy ghost.

Kody: Fine. What about your crown? Do you need it?

Shadow Queen: Not really, I just think it looks nice… but come to think of it, it does signify who I am, and it is really nice-looking. Oh well, I cannot give a straight answer.

Kody: Hmm. Well, since we have no audience, I’ll have to ask–

Shadow Queen: Problem solved.

(The Shadow Queen makes thousands of shadows appear.)

Kody: … Thanks a lot.

Shadow Queen: Any more sarcasm from you and I’ll get very angry.

Kody: Like before…?!

Shadow Queen: Worse.

Kody: Meep. Ummm… You, there, ask a que–

Shadow Queen: They obey only me! Now then, proceed with a question.

Bogmire: How do you control us again?

Shadow Queen: I’M THE QUEEN! It is obvious that you do as I order or else! And that is how I control you.

Kody: Why not revolt?

Bogmire: She’s more powerful than all of us combined.

Kody: Double meep.

Shadow Queen: Yes, Beldam?

Beldam: Hee heh hee… If you don’t mind me asking, my Queen… well, you’ve never really told us about your attacks.

Shadow Queen: I have far, faaaar more abilities than what was shown in that horrid RPG game. I have infinite one-hit kill abilities.

Kody: You’re a cheap character?! I know how to–

Shadow Queen: SILENCE!!!

Yellow: … Noise?

(Yellow is blasted with shadow beams.)

Yellow: Me and my big mouth.

Shadow Queen: Now then, your turn!

Random Shadow: My Queen, what are your next plans for world domination?

Shadow Queen: Probably another 1,000 years of hiding, rising, and lying.

Kody: That’s it. Interview over.

Shadow Queen: What?

Kody: You’re going down. And worse than how Mario took you down.

Shadow Queen: You? Don’t make me laugh. Now continue.

Kody: I don’t think so. It’s time to fight cheap…

Shadow Queen: *realizes* OH NO.

Kody: …WITH CHEAP! HIT IT, LEMMY!

(Lemmy, using a laptop, puts a health meter next to the Shadow Queen that says 1 HP.)

Shadow Queen: NOOOOO!!!

Kody: RAIN OF ITEMS!!!

(Tons of items fall onto the Shadow Queen and drain that hit point, and the Shadow Queen is defeated. HURRAY!)

Shadow Queen: Curse… you… ugh.

Kody: I feel better already. Now then, what shall I do?

Dark Koopa: Maybe if you’d take a walk down this dark, dark walkway…

Kody: With you, a dark, Dark Koopa?

Dark Koopa: … Just walk, will ya?

Kody: I can’t walk, I only float.

Dark Koopa: Go.

Kody: Fine.

(Kody floats down the walkway and into another dark, dark room, without a dark, Dark Koopa. Suddenly, lights turn on.)

Voices: SURPRISE!!!

Kody: Huh?

Voices: HAPPY 100TH INTERVIEW!!!

Kody: … What?

Talim: We’re celebrating your 100th Interview.

Kody: Why?

Meta Knight: Everybody, give him a word!

Talim: Sure!

Meta Knight: PARTY!

King Boo: CHICKEN!

Nightmare: Boredom.

Taki: Exhaustion…

Siegfried: Same.

Petey Piranha: RANDOMNESS!!!112

Meta Knight: More words would be nice.

Cortez: Arr, matey, good luck to yeh!

Mentok: Oo-wee-oo! I’m a mind-taker! But you already knew that.

Tira: I don’t like you.

Zeus Guy: Where’s my black belt?!

Mimiru: It’s over your waist.

The Birdman: Best wishes!

Kamcle: Same here. But I’m too tired to be enthusiastic.

Amaury: YAY! ONE HUNDRED!

Talim: So? What do you think?

Kody: I think you’re all insane.

Everybody: …

Kody: And that’s why I love ya. Thanks, guys!

Meta Knight: Erm… You’re welcome.

Ludwig: Wait… Where’s the cake?

Morton: *MUNCHCHEWCHOMPGULP*

Talim: I got cupcakes because Morton ate the cake already.

Kody: Well, that wraps this up. But there’s one more thing to do first!

Everybody: What?

Kody: CLEAN UP!

Everybody: WHA?!

Kody: I want this stuff outta here now! Erm… Put it upstairs, nobody else will know. And then we can have cupcakes.

Talim: Okay.

Lemmy: Can I say it?

Kody: No.

Lemmy: Too bad. LEMMY’S INTERVIEW SHOW!!!

Kody: … This ends the 100th Interview special. Now to make a fake Interview on camera using cue cards. But Lemmy won’t find out.

Lemmy: I’m right here, you know.

Kody: Whatever. End transmission.

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