Lord Seth: Okay, Roy, how many votes do I have to get to take back my rightful place of being in third place of all the Koopaling votes?

Roy: Basing this COMPLETELY on obsolete data... uh, let's see... subtract yours from someone else's... you need 179.

Lord Seth: 100?!

Roy: I said 179.

Lord Seth: No, you were SUPPOSED to say 100, then I'd get upset, and then you'd say "Oops, made a mistake" and then I'd say "Phew!" and then you'd say "It's actually 179" and then I'd somehow end it in a funny fashion, like blowing up from annoyance or something.

Roy: Uh...

Lord Seth: Okay, what's a slightly more reasonable goal?

Roy: Regain your spot as having the most Interviews?

Lord Seth: Perfect! How many do I need?

Roy: Still relying on obsolete data... uh, let's see... if we only count the Interviews you yourself conducted... about 10?

Lord Seth: Counting this one?

Roy: No.

Lord Seth: Woohoo! Only 9 more to go! Then I can get back to whatever I do in my spare time!

Roy: And what is that?

Lord Seth: Remind me to tell you later, because I've taken up too much time already! Okay, today I am interviewing Bully!

Bully: I-

Lord Seth: That's enough time for the Interview! Thank you! Man, that was easy, just do ten more of these-

Roy: Nine.

Lord Seth: Er, nine more of these and I'm done.

Roy: The Interview has to be USEFUL!

Lord Seth: Wait, wait. What Interview show on television today IS useful?

There is a long pause.

Roy: Just get on with it.

Lord Seth: Okay, then. Why are you such a bully, Bully?

Bully: Hey! Just because my name is Bully doesn't mean it's fair to CALL me a bully.

Lord Seth: Are we going to get through this without a Theodore Roosevelt joke?

Bully: No.

Lord Seth: Bully! Now, other than bullying-

Bully: I just told you not to automatically assume I'm a bully! Idiot!

Lord Seth: But... you do act like a bully.

Bully: But you shouldn't automatically assume that!

Lord Seth: I have to do nine more of these?

Roy: Uh, yes.

Lord Seth: Fine. Bully, what ARE your hobbies?

Bully: Bullying!

Lord Seth: Fine, OTHER than bullying?

Bully: Uh, not falling into lava.

Lord Seth: That's your HOBBY?

Bully: Yep!

Lord Seth: So... very... painful... Okay, now, how does a Bully become a Big Bully?

Bully: By growing larger?

Lord Seth: How do they grow larger?

Bully: By growing older?

Lord Seth: How do they grow... uh, wait, never mind, I know that. So Big Bullies are older Bullies?

Bully: Of course not. Who gave you that idea?

Lord Seth: You just did!

Bully: No I didn't.

Lord Seth: Fine! Just explain to me what makes a Bully become a Big Bully?

Bully: They grow older, duh.

Lord Seth: Okay, so we have that question answered. So, are you pretty much invulnerable?

Bully: Yep! You have to knock us into freezing cold water or burning hot lava to defeat us! Or knock us into one of those bottomless pits.

Lord Seth: But... why wouldn't Bowser only employ you in places where there aren't those things?

Bully: Union rules.

Lord Seth: UNION rules?

Bully: Yeah, all evil villains are required to make it possible, although perhaps difficult, to defeat them or their underlings. No matter how invincible something apparently is, there always has to be a weakness SOMEWHERE.

Lord Seth: Who came up with these rules?

Bully: The guys who run the union.

Lord Seth: Who runs it?

Bully: I don't know. There's a lot. But some of their names are Oiram, Cinos, Knil, Yeknod Gnok, Ybirk, Sumas, and Xof Duolccm.

Lord Seth: Uh, did you ever look carefully at those names? Maybe noticed a pattern?

Bully: Yeah! They're all weird names, aren't they?

Lord Seth: Never mind! Why are Bullies different colors?

Bully: To go with the environment. You know, an Ice Bully looks more at home in a snow environment.

Lord Seth: How does a black Bully fit in with lava? Shouldn't they all be red?

Bully: I never said it made sense!

Lord Seth: Oh boy, nine more of these? Maybe I'll just settle for... for... well, something. So why is it you only knock people back, never deal any actual damage?

Bully: It's a long and sad story, full of suffering.

Lord Seth: Then say it!

Bully: Okay. It's because we're just round with no real way to inflict damage. No spikes or anything, so we just bump people away.

Lord Seth: But... Bob-ombs deal damage by touching, and they're no less round than you are...

Bully: It's some kind of complicated physics formula, I think. Don't ask me to explain it, I only got through college because I was great at wrestling.

Lord Seth: One last question! Why do you have those horns anyway? Do you even use them for anything?

Bully: Hey, lots of people have things they never use!

Lord Seth: Eh?

Bully: Like, you know, brains!

Lord Seth: Good point... and that's the end! I guess. Quick, think of a funny way to end this!

Bully: I'm not wearing any pants?

Lord Seth: Good enough!

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