Lemmy: Brrrrrrrr! It’s cold in here!

G.G: Wow, you're right. There’s only three things that could make this happen: global warming, Republicans, or ghosts.

Lemmy: Ghosts? There’s no such thing as ghosts.

(Suddenly Dark Goomba appears in the middle of the stage.)

G.G: Ahh! It’s Dark Goomba!

Koopa 13: I thought we defeated you.

Chompy: Bark bark.

Dark Goomba: Muhahahahha! It is I! I am the ghost of Dark Goomba, and I have come back for my revenge on you interviewers.

Lemmy: No! I don’t want to be put in a cage again!

(Suddenly Prof. Gadd comes up on the stage and sucks up Dark Goomba's ghost.)

Gadd: Phew! That was a close one.

Koopa 13: I thought we had to fight again...

G.G: So what brings you here at such a good time, old timer?

Lemmy: He’s here to be interviewed.

G.G: What?! No way! I don’t interview senile old people who don’t even know why they are so stupid.

Gadd: But I just saved your life.

Koopa 13: It must have been a prank to fool us.

Chompy: Bark bark.

G.G: Yeah, what makes you think we're gonna…

Gadd holds up a picture of them playing Neopets: The Darkest Faerie.

Koopa 13: Again with this!

G.G: What, do you guys have us wired or something? All right, sit, old man.

(He does so.)

G.G: Ok, first of all, why do you have no hair and like one tooth?

Gadd: When I was born I got stunted aging disorder, and so I continued to look the same as I was when I was a baby.

Koopa 13: And you still look like this now, huh?

(Prof. E. Gadd is seen sucking on a pacifier and shaking a rattle.)

Gadd: I’m sorry, what?

Chompy: Bark bark.

G.G: He says, why did you get into paranormal research?

Gadd: I don’t just do that, I also make inventions such as this.

(He pulls out a Nintendo Wii.)

Koopa 13: Gimmee!

Gadd: Woah, young fellow! You'd best calm yourself. It may look like a Wii, but it’s actually a superdupertruperpresictibafutremalater.

Koopa 13: The superwhatyouperickaleter?

G.G: The noideawhatyoujustsaidmalter?

Chompy: Barkbarkeybarknessbarknetymalter?

Gadd: But in English terms, it’s a machine that can predict the future.

G.G: Sweet, let’s give it a try.

Gadd: Okey matokey.

(He switches it on and browses the future channel.)

Gadd: On the future channel, you can look up anyone’s future. Here’s your future: you are going to die at the end of this Interview.

Koopa 13: Who said we are going to die? Your gadget must have some bugs in it.

(The thingamagig explodes.)

G.G: Moving on, what is your IQ?

Gadd: 3,053,405,426,890,567,903,543,460,915,964,092,579,360,248,652,043.

G.G: Is that even possible?

Lemmy: Hey, you only get to ask one question per turn.

Koopa 13: Why did you decide to create your lab near Luigi’s Mansion?

Gadd: I actually was just there for some Boo experiments when Luigi’s mansion just suddenly appeared. It must have been fate to be able to work for the Mario Bros.

Chompy: Bark.

G.G: He says, why do you have weird-looking glasses?

Gadd: Because I'M CRAZY! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

G.G: It’s time for audience questions, seat 101.

Grubba: What do you do when you are not inventing things?

Gadd: Eat ketchup.

Mario: Huzzah!

G.G: Seat guy outside the window.

Naruto: Can I come back in?

All: NO!

G.G: Seat 666.

Larry: Why do you talk funny?

Gadd: Nintendo put that in there for humorous purposes.

G.G: Seat 5.

Ludwig: I am smarter than you, you realize that right?

Gadd: How so? Can you do mathematic physics with a pen in you ear while standing on a ball with one foot?

Ludwig: Well ummm…

(Ludwig chucks a book a Gadd’s head and runs away.)

G.G: Well I guess that’s it for-

(The three interviewers explode.)

Lemmy: Sweet, that’s a load off my back.

(Is this the end of our heroes? Are they really dead? Can you answer my questions? Are you too stupid to do so? Find out next time, END TRANSMISSIONS!)

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