(The group can be seen walking through a dense forest. Hammer Sis is walking behind the group while she writes in her journal.)

Hammer Sis: (thinking while writing) Hammer Sis's log, Chapter 26. After our incompetent leader "Cruise" controlled us off a cliff, we woke up amazingly in one piece and the bus unscratched. Yeah, we're just as confused about that as you are. Unfortunately, the bus was apparently out of gas, so now we are searching for somebody to help us.

Blaze: Wait up!

Shady: Oh good, you're back. Did you hide the stolen bus well?

Blaze: Yep!

Shady: So no one will ever find it, right?

Blaze: (shaking his head/body yes) No one will ever.

(An explosion can be heard in the distance along with people screaming, chickens bucking, cell phones ringing, sirens blazing, babies crying, and angry Chinese people yelling at each other.)

Blaze: Never mind.

(Hammer Sis sighs.)

Hammer Sis: *returns to writing* But I don't think anyone's going to help a bunch of prison escapees like us. And even if we do find someone, I'm almost certain that Shady's stupidity, Blaze's red hot body of death, Slim's craziness, or Yux's Yuxness will kill him in seconds. But... you never know. Maybe fortune will shine on us and...

Slim: (with his mouth full of squirrel) Look over there!

Yux: Don't talk with food in your mouth.

Slim: *swallows* Sorry. Look over there!

(He points to a mansion.)

Shady: Good eye, crazy guy! Let's head towards that mansion!

Hammer Sis: Wait, Shady. I don't think we should go inside.

Shady: Huh?

Hammer Sis: I think it's dangerous.

Shady: What makes you think that?

(The mansion is surrounded with skeletons and rusted, bloody axes. There are spider webs everywhere, and ghostly laughing can be heard. Also, there are signs that say "Intruders will be killed for no reason" and "Welcome to Boo's Mansion! Make yourself at home forever!" All the signs are written in blood. Also, a green hat with an L on it can be seen near a pile of bones.)

Hammer Sis: Just a feeling I have.

Shady: Well forget you and your feelings! Come on, Blaze!

(Shady and Blaze run inside blindly.)

Hammer Sis: Bye, idiots! Come on, you two, let's go.

Slim: But... but... THIS PLACE ROCKS!

(He runs inside while dragging Yux with him.)

Yux: I HATE YOU ALL!

Hammer Sis: (writing) Journal, why does it feel like you're my only friend?

(Hammer Sis's journal spontaneously combusts.)

Hammer Sis: ...

(She slowly walks inside of the mansion without saying a word.)

...

(Shady, Slim, and Hammer Sis can be seen on a ghostly stage.)

Shady: *nervous laugh* Hahahah. Hello, viewers at home. Well, I have an announcement to make! *nervous laugh* Hahaha. For now on, if you want to watch anymore of Shady's traveling Interview show, then you'll have to come on down to Boo's Mansion! (crying) They're the nicest people on Plit and do not want to eat you at all!!!

(He bursts into tears.)

King Boo: And... cut!

Slim: Right away, sir! By the way, sir, you are my freaking idol! I've been a fan of your work since like forever!

King Boo: Oh, you mean you read my book? "Why Am I Dead and How Can I Make People Suffer For it From Beyond the Grave"?

Slim: YES! I have all your blood-stained tomes, and I Youtube all your torturing of random townsfolk! I have it on my video ipod right now!

(He pulls out a blood-soaked ipod, which starts playing screaming sounds.)

King Boo: Well it's nice to know that I have a fan. NOW BACK TO WORK!

(He floats through the wall next to an open door. He then floats back and slams the door shut.)

Hammer Sis: Well I hate to say I told you so...

Shady: So don't. How much film is left in the camera, Slim?

Slim: We have plenty of film. Why?

Shady: Well we're going to have to wait a while for Blaze and Yux to come back with something to rescue us with, so we might as well interview things and send them to Lemmy later for cash.

Hammer Sis: We actually get paid for doing these things?

Shady: Beats me. He just keeps on sending me Koopaling votes and Super Koopa chances. I have no idea what these things are but I'm sure they're worth more cash then what I'm paying to make these things.

(Slim and Hammer Sis slap their foreheads at the same time.)

Shady: Let's get this thing rolling!

Boo: Hello!

Shady: Where the @#$% did you come from?!

Boo: I just kind of floated into this room.

Shady: No, I mean where do Boos come from period? That was my first question.

Boo: Then why did you say @#$%?

Shady: I'm the one asking the questions here.

Boo: Fine. Well when someone dies, they turn into ghosts and float up to the world beyond.

Hammer Sis: And that's how Boos are made, right?

Boo: No. You see, when that person dies and becomes a ghost, the body they leave behind radiates with the supernatural energy that was used to keep the soul attached to the body. This leftover power spawns Boos.

Shady: Oh. So you're not really dead people then.

Boo: Well every Boo that spawns from the dead body shares the memories it had and some of the person's traits.

Shady: But that's not the same thing, is it?

Boo: Well... no.

Shady: Then shut up and continue. Why are you so shy around people?

Boo: I'm not shy.

Shady: No, stupid. I wasn't talking about you. Why do you Boos cover your faces when someone looks at you?

Boo: Well those are actually Noobs. You see, even though passing through solid matter is second nature to us, turning invisible is hard, so the newer Boos will try to disappear, but they just can't.

Hammer Sis: Then why do they cover their face then?

Boo: That's actually a trick King Boo taught us when we were learning how to turn invisible. Watch.

(He covers his face.)

Boo: Haha! You can't see me!

Shady: But we can see you.

Slim: No, Shady. Let him have his fun.

Boo: Ha! I am the Boo master!

Shady: Yeah... So do you have to stay still to turn invisible?

Boo: Yes, but after about a hundred years of training, we can move around and even turn others invisible too.

Hammer Sis: What are Dark Boos?

Boo: Dark Boos are Boos made from a magically strong person. They are automatically strong and able to use all their ghost powers right off the bat. They can also use the magic powers they had in their past life to poison people.

Hammer Sis: Why is it that you guys can fuse together to form Big Boos and Toxic Boos?

Boo: Since Boos are made from the same guy, they all have the same mind wave link. That makes it easy for us to join together, and form a working body.

Hammer Sis: Why can Dark Boos flip from 2D to 3D in the Flipside dimension?

Boo: Well the only thing the dimension flipper Bestovius respects more then Merlon's beard...

Shady: That still creeps me out.

Boo: ...is the dead, so he teaches the ability to flip to any Boo who meets him, but only Dark Boos have the magical power to perform it.

Shady: So what were you guys doing in the arcade in Flipside?

Boo: Well first of all, those Boos were made out of dead Flipside residents. We don't have the power to travel through dimensions. Secondly, we were paid richly to work there.

Shady: Why are you guys appearing in the Mario Party Games lately?

Boo: Well, this is just between you and me. (looking around) You remember Donkey Kong, right?

Shady: Um...

(Shady has a flashback to the days he used to play at the arcade all day.)

Kid Shady: Yeah! In your face DK! I jumped over those barrels and into your @#$%&# face! Yeah!

(Suddenly, DK jumps out of the arcade machine and starts to strangle Kid Shady.)

Shady: ... Sort of.

Boo: Well, right before Mario Party 5... he died!

Everyone: *GASP*

Slim: DK died?! And I wasn't the one to drink his monkey blood and eat his monkey heart?!

Boo: No, I mean the guy who plays DK in those games died.

Hammer Sis: You mean that that wasn't the real DK in those games?

Boo: Yep, but anyways, that guy died and he left behind a lot of Boos. One of the Boos became the playable Boo while Nintendo made the other Boos walk around in the DK impersonator's suit so that people wouldn't know that they were being lied to all these years.

Hammer Sis: Well I wouldn't have cared either way.

Slim: Me neither.

Shady: (crying) Why did you have to die, DK impersonator?! WHYYYY?!

Slim: *sigh* Intern, can you get Shady some hot cocoa please?

(A Toad with a white-spotted Mushroom hat and a white shirt that has the word "Intern" on it walks onstage and gives Shady some cocoa and pats his back.)

Shady: (calming down) Thank you, Intern.

(Intern smiles and bows.)

Hammer Sis: Um... Who's she?

Shady: Huh? Oh, this is our intern, whose name is Intern. Yup, she's been with us since day one.

Hammer Sis: Well I've never seen her before.

Shady: And she probably has never seen you either. She mostly sits in the corner and plays videos games.

(Intern shakes her head yes as she pulls out a pink DS and plays Tetris.)

Hammer Sis: Why doesn't she...

Shady: She's mute.

Hammer Sis: Oh. That's sad... Wait. You gave a young girl who can't even talk a job?

Shady: Yeah, so?

Hammer Sis: Well... I just never knew that you could be such a nice guy.

Shady: (blushing) Well... yeah.

Slim: Let me guess, her parents paid you tons of cash for you to take her off their hands forever, right?

Shady: Don't judge me! Besides, without that money, how would we ever afford air?!

Slim: ... Air?

Goomba: Yeah! I mean, I would sell it for free, but it's against regulations. Sorry, but my hands are tied.

Slim: You don't even have hands.

Goomba: Whatever.

Shady: Audience time! Seat 30!

Boo #2: Why do we hang out around haunted mansions?

Boo: 'Cause King Boo tells us too.

Boo #2: Why?

Boo: Because he's @#$%& crazy!

(Suddenly, King Boo's mouth appears and eats the Boo right before disappearing.)

Everyone: ...

Shady: Well... do you want to be our interviewee?

Boo #2: No thank you. I don't want to die... again.

Shady: I'm not giving you a choose. Seat 5,796,296!

Yellow: ...

Shady: Great, still unconscious.

Yellow: No, I just don't feel like talking to you.

Shady: ...

Hammer Sis: Seat 24!

Boo #3: If we can pass through walls easily, then how can people hurt us?

Boo #2: 'Cause somehow Mario knows when we run out of energy and turn solid again.

(Mario can be seen holding a book upside down. The book is called "How to Kill Boos for Complete Morons. Written upside down for those 'special' people!")

Mario: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Cheese.

Hammer Sis: Intern? Is there a seat you want to call out?

(Intern puts her finger to her mouth and thinks. She holds up three fingers.)

Hammer Sis: Seat 3!

Shady: What? Why such a low number? That's stupid, you're stupid. You just lost your air privileges, Mutey! Now fetch me my burning hot coffee from all the way over there and rub my feet which I never use or wash!

Hammer Sis: You are a horrible person!

Shady: Why, thank you! : )

Hammer Sis: ... Seat 3?

Boo #987,654,321: Why is there stuff in this world, like cream and coats, that can turn others invisible?

Boo #2: Well, King Boo's daughter, Bow, decided that she needed more money even though we don't spend any on water, electricity, or food. So she sold a lot of us off to chemical experiment plants. That's how those items were made.

Hammer Sis: Seat 531!

Boo #531: What's up with all the Boos in Mario Power Tennis?

Boo #2: Oh, well King Boo wanted us to get some exercise, so he made all of us join the tournament. We just took turns being the player while the rest of us helped him.

Slim: Seat 142!

Tubba Bluba: Why-

Slim: Why are you here?

Tubba Bluba: For the food.

(All the Boos in the surrounding seats are gone.)

Tubba Bluba: Burp!

Slim: Huh.

(Slim grabs the screaming Boo in the first seat and eats him.)

Slim: WOW! This is like ten times better than deep fried squirrel!

Tubba Bluba: Totally! Anyways, are you related to the punching ghost things from the New Super Mario Bros?

Boo #2: No, I don't think so.

Tubba Bluba: What about Embers or Podoboos?

Boo#2: Nope.

Shady: Speaking of Embers, what's taking Blaze and Yux so long?

(Intern starts pulling on Shady's wing.)

Shady: Not now, Intern, I'm thinking.

(Intern keeps pulling on his wings.)

Shady: I said, knock that off, Intern. I know you're mute but I didn't know that you're deaf too.

(Intern rips out Shady's wings.)

Shady: AHHHH!!!

(Shady turns around and starts strangling Intern.)

Hammer Sis: No, Shady! I think she's trying to tell us something.

(Shady calmly puts Intern down and instantly grows new wings.)

Shady: Now... What is it, Intern?

(Intern points towards the audience.)

Slim: What is it, boy? Did Timmy fall down the well again? Because if he did, then he can just stay down there.

(Intern shakes her head no and points towards the crowd.)

Shady: Huh? Seat 426?

Blaze: Hi.

Shady: Blaze?! What have you been doing all this time?

Blaze: Oh... this and that.

(He pulls out King Boo's diary. His flaming claws set the book on fire.)

Blaze: Darn it!

Shady: You and Yux were supposed to look for help!

Blaze: ... We were?

Shady: Yes!

Blaze: Oops.

Shady: Darn it, Blaze!

Hammer Sis: Hey... Where is Yux?

(A muffling sound can be heard under Hammer Sis's feet.)

Hammer Sis: What...?

(She steps off of the 2D Yux. He inhales.)

Yux: Finally!

Hammer Sis: Oh, sorry. I forgot you were under there.

Yux: How do you forget that a living thing is being crushed under your own body weight?!

Hammer Sis: I said I was sorry.

Yux: I HATE YOU ALL!

Shady: So do we, Yux. So do we. Seat 352!

Boo #352: What's up with Pink Boos?

Boo #2: Those are girl Boos.

Boo #352: But Bow isn't pink.

Boo #2: That's because she's royal.

Boo #352: Yeah, a royal pain.

Bow (from seat 353): That will be another 1,000 years in the basement for you! That will teach you for beating the dead horse that is that joke.

Boo #352: Oh snap!

Bow: Make it 2,000!

Boo #352: I'll shut up now.

Yux: Seat 34!

Boo #667: Why don't we appear in the first Mario games?

Boo #2: Because there wasn't that many of us, but after Mario went on a killing spree, there was enough of us for Bowser to add in his army.

Blaze: Last question!

Audience (Including viewers like you. Thank you): Finally!

Blaze: Seat 1,052!

Pink Boo: What are the ghosts in Luigi's mansion?

Boo #2: Those are regular ghosts, but King Boo granted their wish for revenge and gave them power.

Shady: Hit it, Random Boy!

Yux: But, bad stuff will happen if I use it.

Shady: (pulling out a gun) I said hit it!

Yux: Fine... RANDOMIZE!

(He glows, then stops.)

Yux: The good news is...

(The walls next to them crumbles.)

Shady: Hurrah!

They start to escape when...

Yux: Oh, and the bad news is...

Slim: Can't you wait until we're outside?

Yux: Nope. The bad news is...

(Suddenly, Intern explodes and King Boo floats out of her remains and fixes the wall, leaving Shady, Hammer Sis, and Slim inside and Blaze and Yux outside.)

Shady: My air money!

Goomba: My kid's college money!

Hammer Sis: My only friend who was also a girl on this stupid show!

Slim: Did you really need to kill her?

King Boo: Yes.

Slim: Just checking.

On the other side...

Yux: Free at last!!!

Blaze: LIVE LONG AND PROPER!

Yux: Why do you keep saying that?

Blaze: I don't know.

Have an Interview or a suggestion of your own? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Interviews.
Go back to my main page.