LUDWIG101 interviews O’CHUNKS

By Luther Koopa

Ludwig101: Welcome back, everyone! Before I begin, I have an announcement. From now on, I will be addressed by the name of Luther Koopa. Now let’s begin the interview. Uhh, where is O’ Chunks?

(Out of nowhere, Nastasia flips into the Interview room.)

Blooper: Get that freaky woman out of here!

Nastasia: Excuse me?

(She pulls down her glasses and hypnotizes Blooper.)

Blooper: Nothing, and HAIL BLECK!

Nastasia: Yeah, I thought so.

Luther: Do you know where O’Chunks is?

Nastasia: Uh, yeah. Hang on a sec, k?

(She flips back to Bleck’s castle and checks on O’Chunks.)

O’Chunks: Oy, what ye want now?

Nastasia: Yeah, some guy named Luther Koopa wants to interview you.

O’Chunks: YES!!

Nastasia: When you’re done, you can get back to work on your 1,000-page report on your performance.

O’Chunks: DRAT! Fine, let’s go. CHUNKS AWAY!

(Back in the Interview room…)

Luther: Finally! Now let’s begin. What do you have a Scottish accent even though Plit doesn’t have a Scottish place?

O’Chunks: I was born in Scotland living a carefree life as a wee lad. About a decade later, some warp pipe took me away from me family like a whirlpool. I eventually wound up at Bleck’s castle. I miss them so much.

(More than half of the room starts to cry.)

O’Chunks: ‘Ey, are you crying boy?

Luther: (nearly reduced to tears) N... No. I... I just got something in my eye. I’m better. Now what’s with that Chunks Away thing?! What kind of food do you eat?

O’Chunks: It’s my own rocket without tinkering with metal. I eat broccoli, ham, beans, and haggis.

Luther: Huh? What’s Haggis?

O’Chunks: Sheep’s heart, liver, and lungs mixed with vegetables and spices.

(Everyone pulls out their vomit bag and… WHAT DO YOU THINK?!)

Wario: Not me. I think that’s delicious.

Luther: Wario, EVERYTHING that’s disgusting, you like! Now let’s just move onto the audience questions. Seat SCHEDULE.

Nastasia: Uh yeah, when will you be done with my 1,000-page report?

O’Chunks: I just need the conclusion, so STOP BADGERING ME!

Luther: Seat JESTER.

Dimentio: Do you have a crush on Nastasia?

Audience: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Nastasia: 0////0

O’Chunks: HEY! Don’t be getting the wrong idea; we’re just buddies, all right?

Luther: Finally, seat RHYME.

Merlee: Do you think Bowser has more power?

O’Chunks: No! I can take that wee little chump down easily.

Bowser: We’ll see about that!

Nastasia: Yeah, sorry to break this up, but Chunks, you need to finish your report, k? So…END TRANSMISSION!

Luther: I’m supposed to say that! Oh forget it.

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