Amber: Who's doing the intro? A first Interview always needs an intro!

Para: You are.

Amber: WHAT?! I hate explaining things! Someone else do it!

Lemmy: You're under contract. Do the intro.

Amber: ... Fine. I'm Amber Koopa. This is Para Koopa, the Red Paratroopa. He is the security guard and the executioner. Peach Koopa, my cousin, will be the co-interviewer sometimes. Shy is the secretary.

Shy: A secretary is a woman's job! I don't want to do it!

Amber: Too bad. EveryIinterview we will pull The Lever, and it will randomly choose the interviewee. Pull The Lever, Para!

(Para pulls The Lever. Everyone falls through a trapdoor to a pit full of water and alligators.)

Amber: Why do we even have that lever? Pull the OTHER Lever!

(Para pulls another lever. A slot machine spins for a while, and lands on Koopa Troopa.)

Amber: Oh great. A lowlife for my first Interview. Koopa Troopa, come on out.

(Koopa Troopa comes from the audience. He sits in the chair.)

Amber: Hello, loser. First question. Why don't you attach these super cool spikes to your shell?

Koopa Troopa: Bowser doesn't let us. If we did, he couldn't tell us apart from Spinies.

Amber: I don't like you. Next question. Why are you so weak?

Koopa Troopa: Well, we don't have much armor. Just this shell. Our parts that aren't covered by the shell are very soft.

Amber: You should work out more.

Shy: I found a POW Block!

(Shy activates the POW Block. All the land Koopas fall on their shells.)

Amber: Ungh! Shy, go away.

Shy: Seeya.

(He leaves.)

Peach Koopa: Anyone have a way to get us up?

Amber: Wait! I can get up!

4 hours later...

Amber: We're up! Audience questions. Seat 500.

Petey Piranha: What games were you in?

Koopa Troopa: What games WEREN'T we in?

Amber: Showoff.

Koopa Troopa: You're just jealous because you weren't in any games.

Amber: I hate you. Seat 4.

Luigi: What's your weakness?

Koopa Troopa: Are you like a running gag or what? As you just saw, our weakness is POW Blocks.

Amber: Call-in questions! Line 1!

Ludwig: What is your IQ?

Koopa Troopa: An average Koopa Troopa has an IQ of 55.

Ludwig: Stupid.

Amber: I couldn't agree with you more. Line 2.

Peach Koopa: What do the different-colored shells represent?

Amber: What are you doing on the phone?

Peach Koopa: Darn, I thought you wouldn't notice.

Koopa Troopa: To answer your question, they stand for how strong we are. Green is the weakest, then Red, then Blue, Yellow, Purple, and Gray is the strongest.

Amber: Something I've always wanted to do: Do you like Yoshis?

Koopa Troopa: No way! I think they're stupid!

Pink: What?!

(Pink kills the Koopa Troopa.)

Para: Awww... I wanted to do that.

Amber: Shiny nickel?

Para: Gimme!

(Amber throws the nickel across Plit. Para follows it.)

Amber: Well, I'm happy. Peachie?

Peach Koopa: Don't call me that. Thanks for watching-

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Plit: END TRANSMISSION!!!

Para: Planets can talk?

Amber: How'd you get back here?

Para: Magic?

Bill Nye: No, science!

Amber: I SAID END TRANSMISION!!!

Bill Nye: Eep!

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