DOUBLE G GOOMBA, KOOPA 13, AND CHOMPY interview GRODUS

By Double G Goomba and koopa 13

(We start at the X-Naut base in a flower meadow.)

Grodus: Lord Crump, you dope! Why did you relocate us to a stupid field?

Crump: Buh huh huh huh!

(He dies again.)

Grodus: Ugh. You, X-Naut, did you bring the prisoners?

X-Naut: Yes sir, and we used the exploding transporter as well.

(They bring in our three heroes chained up like dogs.)

G.G: Huh? What the? What’s going on?

Koopa 13: It’s the X-Nauts!

Chompy: Bark bark.

Grodus: Greetings, my interviewers. I, the great Grodus, have brought you here to interview me.

G.G: Well what if we-

Grodus: SILENCE!!!

(He electrocutes them.)

Koopa 13: But you’re only a head.

Grodus: Stop making fun of me.

(He electrocutes them again.)

Grodus: If you don’t want me to strike you again, then interview me, NOW!!!

G.G: Ok, why-

Grodus: SHUT UP!

(He does it again.)

Grodus: I want the Koopa to start.

Koopa 13: Zzz...

(He does it once more.)

Grodus: I changed my mind, I want the Chain Chomp to start.

Chompy: Bark-

Grodus: Shut up!

(You know what’s coming.)

Grodus: I changed my mind again, I want the Goomba to start.

G.G: Why- Ugh, never mind. Qhy are you just a head?

Grodus: Why do you think? That stupid Shadow Queen betrayed me and did this to me. Dumb turtle, START!

Koopa 13: She felt that she shouldn’t be taking orders from an inferior being like you. My question is, are you some sort of machine that was created, or something else?

Grodus: I’m Smithy’s older brother.

Chompy: Bark bark.

Grodus: Shut up.

(He shocks him.)

Grodus: Goomba, go!

G.G: How did you become the X-Naut leader?

Grodus: Easy, I just said free donuts if you join, and, well, we're packed.

Koopa 13: I want some!

Grodus: Too bad, ASK ME A QUESTION!

Koopa 13: You and Smithy are brothers, right? But why do did you guys create your armies instead of teaming up?

Grodus: Because we have been rivals since our baby ages since he created pong and started a generation.

G.G: How did you get a moon base?

Grodus: Around the time that Smithy started his business, I had my X-Nauts start making it so that we could outdo his stupid base.

Koopa 13: Did you create all the robot stuff?

Grodus: No, after I gathered together my crew of X-Nauts and separated them into groups, I had the X-Naut PhDs make all the Yuxes, while the Elite X-Nauts made the machines and everything and the normal X-Nauts just stood like bumps on a log.

G.G: How did you separate them into groups?

Grodus: By seeing which one was better at certain things and putting them into the groups that best suited theire skills. AUDIENCE TIME!!!

G.G: But there is no aud-

(You know what happens.)

Grodus: Silence. X-Naut, SPEAK!

X-Naut: Why don’t we get raises?

Grodus: BURN HIM!!!

(Elite X-Nauts take him and throw him in a fire pit.)

Grodus: YOU, SPEAK!

X-Naut PhD: Who do you think you will have replace you when you die, Sir Grodus?

Grodus: Probably Lord Crump after he comes back to life. Are you planning a mutiny?

X-Naut PhD: No, I-

Grodus: BURN HIM!!!

(They throw him into the fire pit.)

Grodus: Last question, GO!

Elite X-Naut: Why haven’t you built a new body for yourself?

Grodus: I dunno, BURN!

(He burns.)

Grodus: Ok, that’s it, now you three shall be my slaves for eternity!

G.G: WHAT?!

Koopa 13: No way!

Chompy: BARK!

Grodus: Then you shall-

(Suddenly the ground explodes and Lemmy comes and kicks Grodus's head.)

X-Naut: We must protect Sir Grodus!

(As they attack, lemmy throws a smoke bomb and get the three of them out of there.)

G.G: I cant believe we were saved by Lemmy.

Koopa 13: I am very pleased that a hippie actually helped us.

Lemmy: Look, the only reason I saved you is because you saved me, and I didn’t want to owe you one.

G.G: Well well, looks like Lemmy has a bit of a tender side.

Chompy: Bark : )

Koopa 13: Yeah, about that...

G.G: What?

Koopa 13: Grodus.

G.G: What about him?

Koopa 13: Yeah, him.

(The three of them are electrocuted.)

G.G: Oh no! We forgot to take off the collars.

Koopa 13: Then let’s take them off and put them on Grodus.

(They get shocked even harder and harder and harder.)

G.G: Can't move... Too strong!

(We see Lemmy pushing the button, electrocuting them.)

Lemmy: Heh heh heh, the ball is in Lemmy’s court now. END TRANSMISSION!

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