Koopa 13: Check it out, guys, a new game just came out.
Lemmy: What game?
Koopa 13: Super Paper Mario.
G.G: Oh goody, Mario in paper form.
(We see Mario staring at Paper Mario.)
Mario: It’s-a me, Mario!
Paper Mario: It’s a me, Paper Mario!
G.G: Gonna be a long day...
(Suddenly a blue woman with glasses appears.)
G.G: Who are you, ugly?
(He gets shocked.)
Nastasia: Umm, yeah, I’m Count Bleck’s personal assistant, and I’m gonna you to interview him, k?
Koopa 13: I don’t think so. Your interview with Count Bleck alone won’t be humorous or good.
Lemmy: She mean’s she wants us to do it, idiot.
Koopa 13: Oh yeah.
G.G: No way! Why should I-
(A red square forms around him and disappears.)
G.G: HAIL BLECK!!!
Nastasia: That’s better.
Koopa 13: Well it's Super Paper Mario’s villain, Count Bleck.
Bleck: Beah heh heh heh bleck. Count Bleck has made his entrance, remarks Count Bleck.
Chompy: Bark bark.
G.G: BLECK FOREVER!!!
Lemmy: What's wrong with him?
Koopa 13: He likes to narrate himself.
Bleck: Bleck demands that you interview him now!
G.G: YES, MY LORD!!!
Koopa 13: You work for him?
Nastasia: No one can resist my hypno beam.
G.G: What is it that makes you so cool, Count?
Bleck: Count Bleck is able to predict the future.
Koopa 13: Can we just get on to the interviewing?
(They all sit down.)
Koopa 13: Why do you talk in third person?
Count Bleck: A massive pipe hit the head of Count Bleck, making him talk like this.
Fawful: Your similarities to me are like that of a twin of Siamese that is stuck to stupidiness.
Chompy: Bark bark.
Koopa 13: He says, why do you wear that stupid monocle?
Bleck: It makes Count Bleck look fancy along with Count Bleck’s cape and top hat.
G.G: COUNT BLECK, COUNT BLECK, HE'S OUR MAN! IF HE CAN'T DO IT, NO ONE CAN! YAY!
Koopa 13: Wow. It looks like someone's gone bad here.
Lemmy: Could you turn him back? This is starting to creep me out.
(Nastasia snaps her finger and G.G. comes to his senses.)
G.G: Who the fancy pants is this guy?
Bleck: The man before you is Count Bleck. Pay attention to your own questions, you fool.
G.G: Ok, Count Dreck, why do you want to destroy the world?
Bleck: Count Bleck lost his timpani and no worlds had any meaning, so I am going to destroy the worlds and bring them to ruin.
G.G: I thought Dimentio betrayed you and-
Bleck: Don’t tell Count Bleck the ending, he has not finished the game yet.
Koopa 13: You know, I heard that you are going to get married at the end.
(Nastasia hypnotizes Koopa 13.)
Koopa 13: OH GREAT COUNT BLECK SIR, I BOW BEFORE YOU!
G.G: No way I would bow to this weirdo.
Chompy: Bark bark.
G.G: He says, how did you get your minions?
Bleck: Count Bleck found O'Chunks at a juice-chucking contest, then he found Mimi at an orphanage, and Dimentio was found at a circus. I convinced them that this world was horrible by telling them that people don’t brush their teeth.
G.G: Why would you say something as stupid as that?
Nastasia: Are you questioning the count?
G.G: Umm, yes. This is an Interview, after all.
Koopa 13: COUNT BLECK, COUNT BLECK! GO COUNT BLECK!
G.G: Change him back! It’s starting to get annoying!
(She does so.)
Koopa 13: What in the world happened to me?
G.G: You’re better off not knowing.
Koopa 13: Fine by me. Anyway, are you related to the Shadow Queen? I mean, you kinda look alike.
Count Bleck: Yes, Count Bleck is her older brother!
Chompy: Bark bark.
G.G: He says, do you and Nastasia have a thing going on?
(You know what she does.)
Chompy: Bleck bleck.
G.G: Audience time, seat over there.
Sakura: Chaaaaaaaaaa!
G.G: You gotta be kidding me!!!
Koopa 13: Too many cameos at a time.
(He pushes the ejection seat and she gets sent out the window.)
G.G: Seat 12.
Kammy: How did you get the Dark Prognosticus?
Bleck: Count Bleck stole it from his father.
G.G: Seat 56.
Red: What are your abilities?
Bleck: Count bleck can make black holes that suck up his opponents, warp from place to place, and do magic tricks.
(He makes a bunny appear.)
Rabbid: DAAAAAAAHHH!
G.G: Seat that place.
Kooppatrol: How did you get so many followers?
Bleck: Nastasia hypnotized some of them for Count Bleck, but most of them I created with my own power.
G.G: One more question, seat 15.
Bow: How whre you created?
Bleck: Count Bleck was created by his father of course; he was born into the Tribe of Darkness, who held the Dark Prognosticus.
G.G: All right, we're done, now GET OF OUR HOUSE!!!
Bleck: No, Count Bleck cannot leave.
G.G: The door’s right there.
Bleck: No, Count Bleck really can’t leave. He is stuck to the chair.
Koopa 13: Here, give me your hand.
(Koopa 13 pulls him but ends up getting stuck too.)
Koopa 13: What? I can’t break free!
G.G: Oh for the… Hang on.
(He tries to pull them out, and gets stuck too.)
G.G: Oh jeez.
(Chompy tries, but also gets stuck. Then Nastasia does too.)
G.G: Lemmy, help us!
(He starts drawing on their faces with a magic marker.)
Lemmy: Heh heh heh, today is a good day for Lemmy Koopa. END TRANSMISSION!
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