Joshua: Who’s next?

John: The only person who actually WANTS to be interviewed is Cannon Mole!

Shady: What makes you think that?

Inferno: He’s shooting Bob-ombs at us with notes that say “PLEASE INTERVIEW ME, LOSERS!!!”

Joshua: And you got he wants us to Interview him from THAT?

Inferno: … Should I just set up the equipment?

John: PLEASE. I’ll get Cannon Mole.

***

Joshua: Live, from Noki Bay! It’s…

Lemmy: Lemmy’s Interview Show!

Joshua: That does it! Zap Cannon!

(Using the stolen wand from Josh Koopa, Joshua zaps Lemmy with a powerful… Pokémon attack?)

Joshua: I play XD too much…

Shady: You don’t say.

Joshua: … And it’s Joshua’s Super Interview Show. And blah-blah-blah Cannon Mole.

(Cannon Mole enters, cannon and all.)

Cannon Mole (CM): “Blah-blah-blah”? That’s the only intro I get?

Joshua: … Yeah. Problem? If so, take it up with Inferno.

(Inferno cracks his knuckles. How he does this without hands, I do not know.)

CM: (eyeing the wand and Inferno at the same time) Nope.

Joshua: Good. Now, what exactly do you have to do with Noki Bay?

CM: I was part of the first level in it. Mario had to climb ledges using FLUDD and then throw my Bob-ombs back at me, uncorking the waterfall. He did this in the hope that he would purify the water of Noki Bay.

(Joshua is seething at the mere mention of FLUDD.)

Joshua: Don’t ever mention that machine in my presence… Question 2. You appeared in Pinna Park too. Did you enjoy it?

CM: You mean, where I shot Bullet Bills at Mario from the other side of the beach? That was cool. It was like being on vacation!

Joshua: And Noki Bay wasn’t a vacation because…

CM: Well, it would be now! But when I first came here, the place was a complete mess. Sludge everywhere, the waterfall corked up, and the water toxic. Does that sound like a vacation to you?

Joshua: When you’ve lived with Josh Koopa? Yes. Ok, audience time! Seat 43!

Lemmy: Lemmy’s Interview Show!

Joshua: Huh? We’re way past that! I electrocuted you!

Lemmy: So?

Joshua: Do you have a question or not?

Lemmy: No.

Joshua: METEOR MASH!

(He clobbers Lemmy with… another Pokémon attack? Dude, you’re twisted. And… he fires a Zap Cannon at m-

BOOM!

Joshua: I just can’t wait for Pokémon Pearl and Diamond. Seat 54!

(In seat 54 is a Shy Guy called Techno Guy. He wears a white lab coat and carries a gun that is just like the Shroobs’, but can shoot fire, water, ice, lightning, light beams, and dark beams.)

Techno Guy: HEAR ME, JOSHUA!

Joshua: You’re loud enough, you know.

Techno Guy: Sorry, new master. I am joining your Interview crew.

Joshua: Ok. But you gotta ask a question.

Techno Guy: K. Why’s your cannon red?

CM: Red’s my favourite color. But there are other Cannon Moles with different colored cannons.

Joshua: You’re hired. Now get me a hotdog. WITH mustard.

Techno Guy: Yes, master!

He vamooses to get Joshua a hotdog.

Joshua: Seat 60!

Mario: Cheese!

Joshua: 29!

Mario: Pasta!

Joshua: How is that possible? Seat 78!

Luigi: Ghosts!

Joshua: 127…

Wario: Money!

Joshua: 5,478…

Waluigi: I’m scared of seat 5,478!

Joshua: Kill me. Kill me now. Seat 47…

Bowser: I actually have a question!

Joshua: HALLELUJAH! Shoot!

Bowser: What can you shoot from your cannon?

CM: Bob-ombs, Bullet Bills, Missile Bills, Banzai Bills, and even a little bit of goop.

Bowser: No way. Your cannon’s way too small to shoot Banzai Bills!

CM: I can explain that… Uh… er… uh… Randomness?

Bowser: Works for me.

Joshua: Seat 468!

Ludwig: CHOCOLATE!

Joshua: 469.

Morton: WEDDING CAKE!

Joshua: That’s it! METRONOME!!!

Shady: TAKE COVER!!!

(Audience members run for their lives as Joshua waggles his fingers.)

Joshua: METRONOME! OH YEAH! VOLT TACKLE!!!

Joshua’s body courses with electricity and he charges everyone who said random stuff, killing them painfully. It’s so gruesome, we’re not allowed to show it!

Joshua: Well… nobody’s left to ask questions, so I guess that’s all for now from-

Lemmy: Lemmy’s Interview Show!

Joshua: It’s… Joshua’s… Super… Interview… SHOW!!! FULL POWER ZAP CANNON!!!

(Joshua blasts Lemmy and he lands in the water. Of course, water and electricity don’t mix…)

Lemmy: BLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGIDIENDTRANSMISSION!

Joshua: Hey! That’s Larry’s line! End Transmission!

END TRANSMISSION

Techno Guy: Master! Your hotdog!

(He sees that the place is in ruins.)

Techno Guy: … COOL!!!

Joshua: By the way, you and Shady are doing the next Interview.

Shady: Who’s it with?

Joshua: It’s the Boss Interview and we’ve picked… Eely-Mouth.

Shady and Techno Guy: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!

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