(Hammer Sis starts rolling around until she wakes up.)

Hammer Sis: *yawn* Ahhh... The few moments in the morning when I can't remember why I was sleeping in a cage. This is the time of the day I enjoy the most.

Two seconds later...

Hammer Sis: Oh... Now I remember. Stupid Shady.

Boo: (shaking the small cage) Wake up, meatbag! The great King Boo commands your presence on the royal stage. Come with me!

Hammer Sis: Yeah yeah. I'm coming, you stupid dingbat.

Boo: What did you say?!

Hammer Sis: I said I always wanted a fishing hat.

Boo: Oh, me too.

Hammer Sis: ...

(The Boo leads her to Slim and Shady.)

Shady: Good morning! : )

Hammer Sis: What's so good about it?

Shady: Well, looks like someone didn't have her coffee today.

Slim: And it looks like someone forgot to take off his feety pajamas again.

Shady: ... Whoops. Intern!

(Intern runs up to Shady and gives him his 1-Up T-shirt and shades, and gives Hammer Sis her coffee.)

Shady: Thanks, Intern.

Hammer Sis: Yeah, thanks, Intern.

(Hammer Sis takes a sip of the coffee and instantly spits it out in Intern's face. She runs around and starts screaming without sound.)

Slim: What was that about, Hammer Sis?!

Shady: Yeah! She was only giving you cheap and terrible-tasting coffee which I forced her to grind with her own nails... which I ripped off and handed to her.

Hammer Sis: But she's suppose to be dead!

Shady: That doesn't mean you can be her killer!

Slim: Yeah! That's my job.

Hammer Sis: No! I mean she died yesterday! Don't you remember?!

Slim and Shady: (eating a bag of M&Ms) No.

(Intern stops mute screaming and shakes her head no.)

Hammer Sis: You don't?! Well look at this! (searching her pocket) When she blew up yesterday, her blood messed up my good hair bow. Aha! Look!

Shady: ... Look at what?

(The bow is spotless.)

Hammer Sis: But... but...

Slim: Dang, girl. You're crazier then me!

(Slim pulls out a pie and throws it at the Boo. The pie explodes into a frenzy of squirrels.)

Boo: AHHH!!!

Slim: Sorry. The demon in my head told me to do it. (eating a squirrel) Yum! Finger-licking good!

Hammer Sis: But... but...

Shady: Come on, let's go.

Hammer Sis: But... but...

...

King Boo: I command you to entertain me!

Shady: We heard you the first time. But, how?

King Boo: Perform for me!

Shady: Um... Romeo, oh Romeo! Where are you, Romeo?! Seriously! You've been gone for like three days! The bills need to be paid!

King Boo: Ahhh! It burns! Sing for me!

Intern: : (

Hammer Sis: But... but...

Slim: Well... I do know one song.

(Slim starts singing in tongues. A demon rises up from a bloody summoning circle and eats half of the mansion before disappearing.)

King Boo: ... I'm going to pretend that I didn't just see that. Dance for me!

Shady: I'm required by the city of Toad Town to never dance again under penalty of eternal whipping.

King Boo: ... Okay then. Can you tell me some jokes at least?

(Shady and Slim look at each other, then they return their attention to King Boo.)

Shady: Sir, we do not know the first thing about comedy or how to be funny at all.

Slim: Yup.

King Boo: Well then what can you do?!

Shady: This.

(He claps his hands. The microphone appears in his hand and a camera appears in front of Slim.)

Shady: Let's begin the Interview! Ghoul Guy, come on down!

Ghoul Guy: I don't really feel like it.

(The microphone turns out to have an ice pick installed in it.)

Shady: I said come on down!

Ghoul Guy: Fine, I'm moving.

Hammer Sis: But...

Shady: First question! Are you like Boos with the whole being born out of the spiritual power of a dead guy thing?

Ghoul Guy: No. We're actually just the ghosts of dead Shy Guys.

Slim: That would explain the mask.

Shady: It explains nothing! Why is it that Shy Guy ghosts get to remain here on Plit when they die?

Ghoul Guy: Well our ghosts are the only ones that can actually fight afterwards.

Shady: Why is that?

Ghoul Guy: We Shy Guys are connected to a long line of wizards and witchdoctors, so I guess that that dormant magical power made our souls stronger then most.

Hammer Sis: (still in the fetal position and rocking back and forth) But...

(Intern looks at Hammer Sis and gives Slim the "She's crazy!" twirl with her finger. Slim nods his head"Yes" as he drinks a little tea cup of blood with his pinky out.)

Shady: Ok, so how do you do the illusion splitting in half thing?

Ghoul Guy: Like this.

(She rapidly moves back and forth, giving her the illusion of splitting in half.)

Shady: That's amazing!

Ghoul Guy: Yeah, it is.

Shady: No, I mean the whole, you're a girl, thing.

Ghoul Guy: Well not all Ladybugs are girls, right? So why should all Shy Guys be guys? I mean, there's even female Hammer Bros!

Hammer Sis: *crazy laugh* Hahahah! That doesn't make sense! NOTHING MAKES SENSE!!!

Slim: Yay! I have a friend now!

Shady: ... Wow, and she's usually the only clear-minded thinker in the group. Well I guess we're doomed now. So what's the difference between Boo Guys and Ghoul Guys?

Ghoul Guy: Well we can perform fusion with others and make them stronger, but Boo Guys can't.

Shady: Why is that?

Ghoul Guy: 'Cause were newer and stronger then Boo Guys. As we grow older, our colors and powers fade until we become Boo Guys.

Shady: About your fusion thing, can more then one of you perform it on a single host at the same time?

Ghoul Guy: No.

Shady: What happens if you do?

Ghoul Guy: Why don't I show you? Who can I use as a guinea pig?

Slim: I'm sure Intern would be happy to do it.

(Intern starts flailing her arms around and mouthing the word "No".)

Shady: I think she's saying yes!

(Intern shakes her fist angrily at Shady. A bunch of Ghoul Guys fuse with her. She explodes and blood scatters everywhere.)

Slim: Aw man! She ruined my favorite blood-stained pair of glasses with more blood!

Hammer Sis: (holding up Intern's half-gone head) HA! SEE?! SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO DIEEE!!! I WAS KINDA RIGHT!!!

Shady: Um... What are you talking about? Intern just went to the bathroom.

Hammer Sis: Don't you even try to trick me, Shady! I know the truth!

(Suddenly, Intern walks out of the restroom. A flushing sound can be heard.)

Hammer Sis: But what about the...

(The head and all the blood are gone.)

Hammer Sis: But... You believe me, don't you, Narrator?

(Actually I think you're just as crazy as a fruit loop.)

Hammer Sis: But you just said that she blew up!

(I don't remember saying anything like that.)

Hammer Sis: But...

Shady: Great, now she's talking to herself.

Slim: She's giving hard working crazy people like me a bad name!

Shady: You guys have good names?

Lemmy: Stop slacking off and get back to work!

Shady: Right away, sir!

Hammer Sis: Where the @#$%&#$%@ did you come from?!

Slim: Where'd who come from?

(Lemmy has mysteriously disappeared. Hammer Sis takes out her hammer and knocks herself out.)

Shady: At least she's quiet now. Why were you guys hanging out in Shroob Castle?

Ghoul Guy: Well a lot of Shy Guys were hypnotized into working for the Shroobs, but Princess Shroob got bored of us so she ordered us to jump off a cliff.

Shady: I can believe that. Audience time! Seat 50!

Boo: Any relationship to the Greapers from Super Mario RPG?

Ghoul Guy: Actually yes. Sometimes, really magically strong Ghoul Guys will instead gain power instead of losing it.

Shady: So Shy Guys become Ghoul Guys and then they can become Boo Guys or Greapers?

Ghoul Guy: That's the general gist of it.

Shady: Huh, sounds kinda "Monsters that live in my pants"-ish.

Ghoul Guy: Well I assure you that we are not related to those things.

(Suddenly, a Ghoul Guy from the audience stars glowing. Then it changes into a Greaper.)

Random Voice: Ghoul Guy evolved into Greaper! +1 to all attributes!

Shady: ...

Ghoul Guy: ... No comment.

Slim: Seat 1,234,567,824,525!

Yellow: Yay! I can ask questions again!

Shady: No you can't.

Yellow: Why not?

Shady: 'Cause I'm sick of stealing stuff from Dark Koopa.

(Intern brings Shady a cup of coffee that has Dark Koopa's name on it.)

Shady: So I'm kicking you off the show and replacing you with a hobo I found outside of the studio the other day. Hit it, Intern!

(Intern pulls a lever that jettisons Yellow out of the mansion.)

Yellow: Well I didn't want to be on your stupid show anyways!!! ... *sniff*

(Dark Yoshi 123 takes Yellow's seat.)

Dark Yoshi 123: Thanks, Shady! Now about that sandwich you promised me...

Shady: I promised nothing. Now ask a question.

Dark Yoshi 123: There goes another meal... Why is it that when the person you fuse with dies, you go down with him?

Ghoul Guy: That's because when he kicks the bucket, his brain goes blank and so does ours, but we can snap out of it after a few hours.

(Intern holds up two fingers.)

Slim: Seat 2!

Boo: Hi again.

Shady: What the...?

Boo: We're the only two here.

Shady: Well that isn't too much of a shock. Do you have another question?

Boo: Yeah. Why do Boo Guys live in that one forest?

Ghoul Guy: 'Cause we feel like being there, gosh!

Shady: Real answer.

Ghoul Guy: A huge Shy Guy massacre happened there a few years earlier.

Shady: Really? Who could do such a horrible thing?

(Slim starts whistling.)

Shady: Stop the guilty whistling. Slim, I need to think.

Intern: ...

Shady: Seat-

Slim: Intermission!

Shady: What? No.

Slim: Too late. Once the ancient art of the Intermission is called, there's no un-calling in.

Shady: Fine. I was wondering what Blaze and Yux were doing anyways.

...

Yux: ... Oh. It's you... Go away. We aren't doing anything interesting.

(But what's with the bloody shovels?)

Blaze: We said go away!

(Fine, fine. Sheesh!)

...

Shady: I swear. The people who read this show must have an IQ of- What? We're back on?! Um... Seat 35!

Boo: Were you guys still being mind controlled by the Shroobs after you died?

Ghoul Guys: No, but unlike Boos, Shy Guys are bound to the area where we died, so we were stuck in Shroob Castle. Since we were behind enemy lines, we had no choice but to follow the Shroobs' commands.

Slim: Seat 300!

Boo: Tonight, we dine, at SUBWAY!!!

Slim: This is madness!

Boo: No, THIS, IS, LEMMY'S LAND!!!

Shady: Why do you keep jumping around in the audience?

Boo: I have ADD.

Shady: I don't care if you can add or subtract. Just ask a question.

Boo: Can you guys disappear like Boos?

Ghoul Boo: Well we can, but only for a few seconds at a time.

Shady: Well that's lame. Last question! Seat-

Dark Yoshi 123: Can I ask another question?

Shady: No.

Dark Yoshi 123: Aww...

Boo: If you guys are bound to the place where you die, then why aren't you still in Peach's castle?

Ghoul Guy: 'Cause we fled from reality. I thought I told you that.

Boo: You probably did, but I wasn't paying attention/caring.

Shady: Well that's all. So can we go home now, Mr. King Boo? ... KB?

King Boo: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Shady: Hey! *claps* Wake up!

King Boo: What? Are you done?

Slim: When did you fall asleep?

King Boo: Like, right after Shady said, "Ghoul Guy, come on down!"

Shady: Oh... great. Well I guess it's time for Yux's randomizer!

Slim: Yux isn't here, man.

Shady: Oh yeah... Well then do something random then.

Slim: Um...

(He pulls out a butcher knife and throws it at the chandelier. The chandelier falls and crushes Intern.)

Shady: ... Meh. Close enough.

Blaze (from miles away): LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!

Yux: Seriously, knock that off. Now help me bury this hippie's dog.

Blaze: *sigh* Fine.

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