Touché: Why do I have to interview?

Joshua: He’s YOUR dad.

Petey Piranha roars.

Joshua: I can’t take much more of this… Dang it, Techno Guy, are those translators ready yet?

King Boo: Yep. I’ve been helping!

Techno Guy: King Boo’s smarter than you think.

Joshua: Sweet!

(After much bruising, beatings, and a chicken sandwich- don’t ask- Joshua manages to get Petey and Princess Shroob under control and the translators on them.)

Joshua: Ow…

John: It’s our third Interview in Ricco Harbor. Who’s the boss?

Engarde: Gooper Blooper. Do you know any other bosses in Ricco Harbor?

Shady: Shadow Mario?

Joshua: Already done him. Duh!

King Boo: Can I interview too?

Crump: And me?

Joshua: Ok. The more the merrier, I guess.

Petey: I’ll do the next Interview with Shroob-meister here.

Princess Shroob: Grr…

Petey: I mean: Shroob-meistRESS.

***

Joshua: Welcome to Joshua’s Super Interview Show… Wait a minute. Isn’t Lemmy going to do his bit?

King Boo: I’ve got a shock collar on him that will send 60,000 volts through his skull if he says the words “Lemmy”, “Interview”, or “Show”.

Joshua: Nice! ^_^ Man, you just do not stop impressing me!

King Boo: ‘s cool. Now, today, me, Lord Crump and Touché are interviewing!

Joshua: That’s my line! But you’re right! Here’s my Brownie point list!
King Boo: 84
Techno Guy: 6
Inferno: 4
Petey Piranha: 1
Shady: 0
Engarde: -5
Lord Crump: -3,000
John: -20,000
Princess Shroob: -20,001
Touché: -1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

Crump: That was pointless.

Touché: I’m on the bottom?!

Joshua: Yeah. You haven’t done much for me. Just interview your “papa”.

(For some reason, a Mii of Joshua shows up, beats up Lemmy and John, then forces his way into the crew.)

Joshua: Oh, come on! It isn’t bad enough that we rip of Shady Parakoopa? Now we’re ripping off P.T Piranha?

King Boo: Apparently.

Mii: Just call me… Miishua.

Joshua: Lame.

Miishua: Would you rather I was called Betty?

Joshua: Yes.

Miishua: …

Joshua: Whatever. Just interview while I “initiate” Miishua.

Miishua: I don’t like the sound of that…

Joshua and Miishua leave and go to the cage where the Shine Sprite was.

King Boo: Ok, so how were you defeated in Super Mario Sunshine?

Gooper: You had to jump on my tentacles and then pull them until they came off. Then you had to pull my mouth. Do that twice, and I was down.

King Boo: Great, now I can beat you at last!

He pulls out a TV, a Wii, a GameCube controller, a memory card, and Super Mario Sunshine, which he begins to play.

King Boo: (Stupid FLUDD…)

Crump: Ooooookay… So.

Gooper: So.

Crump: Why were you in Noki Bay too?

Gooper: I gave up on my plans for trying to pollute Ricco Harbor and was taking a vacation in Tricky Ruins. When Mario showed up, I tried to take my revenge!

Touché: Hey Dad, why’d you to pollute Ricco Harbor in the first place?

Gooper: Shadow Mario told me to. He mutated me and told me he’d change me back if I did that for him.

Touché: Did he?

Gooper: Wow. I really DID raise an idiot. OF COURSE NOT!

Meanwhile…

(Joshua and Miishua are having a steel-cage wrestling match. Joshua is winning.)

Joshua: AARGH!

Miishua: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Joshua: High Ground Pound!

(He climbs to the top of the cage and ground pounds Miishua, who, by luck, or not, depending on how you look at it, is on the flippable grating on the floor of the cage. He falls down to the water and gets attacked by an assortment of water-based enemies.)

Joshua: And thus, my Interview Crew doesn’t grow. Too bad I don’t have much grip… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

Petey: DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DAH! TO TEH RESCUE!

(He saves Joshua and carries him over to the Interview.)

Joshua: I love having a flying minion who saves me from randomness…

***

King Boo: I’m bored. So, did the mutation allow you to spit more goop than other Bloopers?

Gooper: Yes. It also increased my size, and reduced the amount of energy I need from the plants to create goop. That means I could easily create more goop.

Crump: We’ve heard about these plants before. What are they called?

Gooper: They’re called Goopliss plants.

Crump: Who named ‘em?

Gooper: Some guy called Doopliss, I think…

Crump: Doopliss is a marine botanist? Who knew?

King Boo: (sing-song) I did!

Everyone Else: …

Touché: Last question before the audience. How were you able to regenerate your tentacles?

Gooper: That’s easy. It’s a result of the mutation. Shadow Mario knew Mario would be coming to fight me. He wanted to give me the maximum chance at victory.

Touché: Seat 56!

Roy: Did you know that Shadow Mario was actually Bowser Jr?

Gooper: 0_0  Nope!

King Boo: Seat 25!

Bow: How are Bloopers created?

Gooper: We’re all the spawn of Blooper Nannies, but the eggs have to be fertilized with ink from a male Blooper.

Crump: Seat 72!

Lemmy: I-

Joshua: Hey Lemmy! Say your name!

Lemmy: My name is Lemmy- BLAGIDIAGIDIBLAGIDIAGIDI! END TRANSMISSION!

Joshua: Once again, that’s Larry’s bit. Thank YOU, King Boo. Hey! That rhymed.

Crump: Seat 44!

Paratroopa: Are you any relation to the Blooper in Paper Mario 2?

Gooper: No, but I can tell you about him. He spent a few years in Texas; he wasn’t from the southern seas. The Tattle Log got it wrong.

Petey: Looks like that’s all our time!

Princess Shroob: I hate you all. And how come I haven’t spoken much?

Techno Guy: Same reason I haven’t.

Petey: And me.

Shady: And me.

Joshua: And me.

Inferno: And me.

John: And me.

Joshua: … End transmission.

***

(Later, everyone’s on a boat to Lavalava Island.)

Joshua: Oh well, at least nothing random made us travel to the next place.

(Suddenly the mutated Eely-Mouth appears and smacks everyone to Lavalava Island.)

Joshua: Not agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiin!!!

Princess Shroob: You SO jinxed uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuss!!!

King Boo: Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Shady: Raaaaaaaaaannnnnnnndooooooooooommmmm!!!

Techno Guy: Our last words are being stretched ouuuuuuuuuuuttt!!!

Crump: You got anything to add, Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetteeey?!

Petey: Just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Inferno: I agrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

John: Same heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerre!!!

Engarde: I blame Toooooooooooooooouuchhhhhhhhhhééééééé!!!

Touché: I blame Ennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngarde!!!

END TRANSMISSION

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