Stupid Camera Dude: Commence transmission.

Hazey Lucario: (to servant): I demand a medium-well cheeseburger with extra lettuce on it or so help me you will join the muffin man and Elmo in the shredder executioner machiney thingy... machine...

(He notices the audience listening.)

Hazey Lucario: Nosy audience...

Kekky: Well, um, sir-

Hazey Lucario: That is Sir. Master Lucario, super overlord of everything overlordish and below, and above, thank you very much...

Kekky: Okay... Are we going to start now? Or must we waste more precious film?

Hazey Lucario: (ignoring Kekky): Bring out, the test subject!

(A cage is flung onto the stage.)

Hazey Lucario: Where were you on the night of 6/1/07?! There are no wrong answers...

Lucario's Guard 1: And do you SWEAR to tell the truth, just the truth, and nothing BUT the truth?

Kekky: OBJECTION! This is an Interview! Not a persecution!

Hazey Lucario: Overruled! I have the right (and everything else) to object to yer objection!

Kekky: FINE! BE THAT WAY!

(He storms off.)

Hazey Lucario: And bring me some grub while you're at it...

Koopatrol: Can I leave this cage now?!

Hazey Lucario: Not until I'm done deprogramming yer min- um... I mean, interviewing you!

Koopatrol: Oh! It makes so much sense now! Ask me a question! Ask me a question!

Hazey Lucario: Are you always this stupid and irritating? You make Mario look smart. And he didn't even put any clothes on today...

Mario: FIGHT-A THE POWER!

Hazey Lucario: Put dumb man in the shredder

Mario: I'M A CHEESE-A FANATIC!!!

Hazey Lucario: Speaking of cheese, can't wait to see what happens to your appearance after your little makeover...

Mario: Yay! I'm-a gonna be a pretty-a girl!

Hazey Lucario: I'm glad. Anyway, first real question. What exactly is it you do for Bowser?

Koopatrol: Well, since we're tougher than normal Koopas, we're much more useful in war. We're usually used as direct attack, light support, and most famously, we are castle guards.

Hazey Lucario: Interesting enough. Mind telling us how Mario was able to kill a large mass of your species during Paper Mario?

Koopatrol: Well, we believed that our spiny shells and armor would force Mario to give up and surrender. However, it turned out that Mario, using that stupid Spike Badge and those Quake attacks, was able to flip us over, just like normal Koopas, and made us vulnerable. It was terrible.

Hazey Lucario: Guard, remind me to get that badge, whatever it was, out of the closet, and my earthquaker3000 too.

Lucario's Guard #2: Right away, sir!

Hazey Lucario: Anyway, why did you only appear in the Paper Mario series?

Koopatrol: Well, I guess that after Bowser realized we were still vulnerable to Mario, despite our fierce defenses and offenses, Bowser simply didn't want us anymore because or our weaknesses. We could've easily replaced the original Koopas, but we're puzzled by why we were completely deserted like that...

Hazey Lucario: Ah yes, Bowser has a reputation for things like so...

Kekky: I'm back!

Hazey Lucario: How was Mario's little makeover?

Kekky: Well...

(Mario drags himself to his seat, without legs and one arm.)

Hazey Lucario: Thank DAD he's out of action. Wait. He still has no clothes on... We're losing audience!!!

(CENSORED)

Hazey Lucario: Make sure this time, his execution goes as planned...

Kekky: So Koopatrol, who exactly are your buddies in work?

Hazey Lucario: Not much, I presume...

Koopatrol: Well, Bony Beetles are a great ally to have, but I just dislike them and their swarming attitude. Magikoopas are way too bossy to have fun with, or even like. Dry Bones try to eat us Koopatrols. I guess really the only buddies we Koopatrols got while working are other Koopatrols, since we commonly cooperate and such.

Kekky: Interesting.

Hazey Lucario: Snoresville. Is it time yet, Guard number 3?

Lucario's Guard #3: Sorry sir, not yet.

Hazey Lucario: Blueberries!

Kekky: Now, it's time for questions from our audience, who, apparently, don't have much to say. How 'bout, seat 215!

Goomba: Do you think you could've made it in the other games?

Koopatrol: Well, DUH? What do you think?! Of course! I definitely deserve a place in the upcoming games, since I was definitely such a nuisance to Mario in Paper Mario!

Kekky: Seat 1!

Culex: What is the current status of your species?

Koopatrol: Well, we've been underused in Bowser's army since he's decided we're useless, so now, we've dispersed from our once-militia positions, some of us removed our spiny black shells, and have either fallen back into some of the other Koopa ranks or have just fled the Koopa army and have created a population in Monstro Town. Those rebel Koopatrol are no longer loyal to Bowser now.

Hazey Lucario: Riviting. Is it finally time?!

Lucario's Guard #4: Yes sir, we may commence.

Hazey Lucario: Eliminate the Koopatrol.

(The cage's roof grows really, REALLY tough, sharp spikes and crushes the Koopatrol.)

Lucario's Guard: Eliminate the audience at once!

(A sharp ceiling falls on the audience as well.)

Hazey Lucario: Now we must leave. Flee!

Camera Dude: Ending transmission... NOW!

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