SPARLUNK interviews PEEPER

By Dry K. Bones

2 days before the Interview...

(Two eyes are shuddering under a bed. Whamek comes up to them.)

Whamek: Sparlunk, Bro, you REALLY need to get going. Your Interview starts in an hour.

Sparlunk: B-But I might s-see s-something sc-sc-sc-scary!

Whamek: *sigh* You are such A WIMP! ARGGH!!! Hmmm... Wait here.

(Whamek leaves. He comes back with a Peeper in a cage.)

Sparlunk: ... PERFECT!

---

(A bunch of Goombas are in sterilezed white suits, in a padded room. Sparlunk is seated on a bean bag, the Peeper in a plastic box beside him.)

Goomba: ... Why are we all wearing safety suits?

Sparlunk: G-germs.

Goomba: Why are you sitting in a beanbag?

Sparlunk: S-so I don't fall out.

Goomba: Why are we in a padded room?

Sparlunk: So nobody gets h-hurt.

Peeper (through microphone): Why is the audience all Goombas?

Sparlunk: They are t-the l-l-least dangerous thing.

Goomba: ... You better have not said what I think you said.

Sparlunk: AUGH! DON'T HURT ME!

Goomba: Chill.

Sparlunk: GAH! I'M GOING TO GET FREEZERBURN!

Peeper: START THE FREAKIN' INTERVIEW!

Sparlunk: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Okay. This is P-Peeper, a tiny bird from Yoshi’s Story.

Goomba: … Who? and what?

Sparlunk: Peeper was a t-tiny, harmless bird from a game on the N-N-N-N64 called Yoshi’s Story. It w-was cool.

Whamek: (whispering) It’s the only game he ever played, and he always skipped the boss battles and made me do them.

Goomba: HAHAHAHAHA!

Sparlunk: I must ask a qu-question. Why did Inviso summon you? Inviso’s a g-g-g-g-GHOST!!!

Peeper: He pays us to.

Sparlunk: Why do you keep flying around? That's k-k-kinda dangerous for you.

Peeper: We're practicing. We grow up to be Albatosses, who fly a lot.

Sparlunk: WAH!!! ALBATOSSES ARE SCARY!

Peeper: OW! Quit crying! We can also turn into Crowbers!

Sparlunk: TOO SCAAAAAARRRRRRRRYYYYYYYY! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Peeper: ARGH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS! HURRY IT UP!

Sparlunk: WAH! AUDIENCEEEEE!!! SEAT UNSAFE!

Goomba: Uh... ummmm... Why are you so weak?

Peeper: WE'RE BABY BIRDS, GIVE US A BREAK!

Sparlunk: SEAT CLONE!

Goomba: Who is your ruler?

Peeper: Nobody.

Sparlunk: SEAT ALMOSTDONE!

Goomba: WHY IS THIS INTERVIEW SO SHORT?

Sparlunk: T-to p-play it safe...

Goomba: Ugh. I am SO not getting bribed well enough.

Sparlunk: Time to rate your threat level. You're rated a 0.

(Laughter. Lots of laughter.)

Peeper: SHUT UP!

Sparlunk: LOUD NOISES! END TRANSMISSION, PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!

Whamek: Wow, you stink at this.

Did you like this submission?
If you would like to send some feedback to the author of this submission, please complete this form.

What's your name?
This is required.

What's your Email address?
Only enter this if you would like the author to respond.

How do you rate this submission?
Please rate on a scale of 1 - 10, 10 being best.

Does this submission belong in Little Lemmy's Land?
Little Lemmy's Land is designed to include the top ten percent of submissions.

Would you like to see more from this author?

Comments and suggestions:

 
ZY.Freedback.com: Stunning, fast, FREE!
FREE feedback form powered by Freedback.com
Freedback.com

Have an Interview or a suggestion of your own? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Interviews.
Go back to my main page.