(King Doopliss, Lemmy, and Cloaked Figure are seen lying on a beach.)

King Doopliss: Man this vacation sure is nice. No Interviews, no assistants who want to kill me, and no government agents.

Lemmy: I know what you mean. I haven’t had to say that line I say for a month at least.

Cloaked Figure: But I do miss the hurting people.

Lemmy: Go cry about it.

(Cloaked Figure runs off into the ocean crying.)

King Doopliss: I give him 5 minutes 'til he remembers that he can’t swim.

Lemmy: You’re on. What shall we wager?

King Doopliss: If I’m wrong I’ll do an Interview, but if I’m right I get your website.

Lemmy: Well since you always lose at bets... Okay!

4 minutes, 57 seconds later...

Cloaked Figure: (yelling) HELP! I CAN’T SWIM!

Lemmy: In your face.

King Doopliss: Dang. It’s like the author planned it to happen like this.

King Doopliss’ Creator: Now where did you get that idea?

King Doopliss: I don’t know.

Lemmy: Stop trying to stall so that this is longer, and start interviewing.

King Doopliss: But we never decided on whom we will interview.

Lemmy: How about that fish eyeing your balogna sandwich?

King Doopliss: Oh all right. Hey you! Fish! I’m going to interview you.

Cheep Cheep: No.

King Doopliss: Why not?

Cheep Cheep: Because I’m hungry.

King Doopliss: If you let me interview you I’ll give you the sandwich.

Cheep Cheep: Deal.

(12 minutes later, King Doopliss, Cloaked Figure, and Lemmy are sitting on a floatingstage made from driftwood.)

King Doopliss: Where’s that camera Blooper I hired?

(A Blooper swims up with a camera.)

Blooper: Sorry I’m late… *%(#$)@%*!

King Doopliss: Hey, aren’t you my former pet Blooper?

Blooper: I knew I shouldn’t have got out of bed today.

King Doopliss: Now get to work.

Blooper: Fine, rolling.

King Doopliss: Hello, and welcome to King Doopliss’ Crazy Interviews!

Lemmy: Since when has that been the name of your Interviews?

King Doopliss: Since ten seconds ago.

Lemmy: -_-‘

King Doopliss: I’m King Doopliss, and that guy who looks like a drowned rat is Cloaked Figure.

Cloaked Figure: So much water!

(Cloaked Figure is curled up in a ball.)

King Doopliss: Today I interview a talking fish who is eating my sandwich right now, Cheep Cheep.

Cheep Cheep: And it tastes good.

King Doopliss: First question, what was the first game your species appeared in?

Cheep Cheep: That would be Super Mario Bros.

King Doopliss: So you’ve been around since the 8-bit days?

Cheep Cheep: Yes.

King Doopliss: You’re an old fart.

Cheep Cheep: I didn’t agree to be insulted.

King Doopliss: When you agree to be interviewed by me, you do.

Cheep Cheep: I hate you.

King Doopliss: Yeah, I hear that a lot. What is the most common color of your species?

Cheep Cheep: Red is our most common color, followed by green.

King Doopliss: Any reason behind the color?

Cheep Cheep: Nope, not really.

King Doopliss: Do Cheep Cheeps work for Bowser?

Cheep Cheep: Yes, some do.

King Doopliss: Will the ones who don’t work for Bowser attack Mario or his friends?

Cheep Cheep: Sometimes they will, but there is a good amount who won’t.

King Doopliss: Here’s a question I’ve always wanted to know, can Cheep Cheeps breathe out of water?

Cheep Cheep: A long time ago we couldn’t, but more recently, like in the last 100 years or so, we have adapted the ability to breath out of water. But if we stay out of water for too long we shrivel up.

King Doopliss: Time for audience questions, seat 31.

Goomdiver: What game that you appeared in was your favorite?

Cheep Cheep: I would have to say Super Mario Bros. because underwater levels where hard.

King Doopliss: Seat 17.

Random Goomba: I’m back.

King Doopliss: Who are you?

Random Goomba: Don’t you remember me?

King Doopliss: No, hence I asked who are you.

Random Goomba: I was the Goomba that you interviewed in your first Interview.

King Doopliss: Okay….

(King Doopliss throws a spear at the Goomba, and the Cheep Cheep.)

King Doopliss: Well, vacation is over. NOW GET OUT OF HERE! Youre coming with me, Blooper.

Blooper: Why do I have that feeling that I’m going to die?

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