Joshua: How do we keep getting knocked to our EXACT destination?

Techno Guy: Who cares?

Joshua: Can’t argue with that logic. Well Petey, you want to interview, you can interview.

Petey: Yay!

Princess Shroob: And I’ll Interview too, since I’m the only one who hasn’t.

John: Except me, but I don’t care.

Joshua: Fine by me, mindless slaves. I’m going to go beat up some random loser.

Jr. Troopa: Hey!

Joshua: Wait, I never even played that game, how do I know about you?

Jr. Troopa: Randomness?

Joshua: Oh. DIE!

(They start fighting.)

Crump: This is just stupid.

Inferno: You don’t say.

King Boo: Uh-huh.

Shady: Yep.

Engarde: Bud.

Touché: Wise.

Joshua: Er.

John: … I hate you all.

***

Petey: Joshua’s Super-

Lemmy: LEMMY’S INTERVIEW SHOW!!!

Petey: …

Princess Shroob does some weird magic and kills Lemmy.

Princess Shroob: Interview Show. Piranha Plant. Up here. Now.

Piranha Plant: K. Hi, everybody!

Audience: Hi, Dr. Nick!

Dr. Mario: I’m-a Mario!

Princess Shroob: Die!

(She kills him with the same magic.)

Petey: Isn’t he just Mario with more IQ?

Shady: The world will never know.

Petey: So, my plant brethren…

Princess Shroob: (He knows the word “brethren”?)

Petey: Are you related to me at all?

Piranha Plant: I’m not sure you should care, but… Petey… I am your father!

Petey: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Ignacio (from Nacho Libre): Call me… NAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Techno Guy: ENOUGH P.T. Piranha stuff!

Author: Aww. But I like P.T. Piranha! He’s fun-nay!

Petey: Wait. If you’re my papa, then how am I so mutated? And I’m from the past! THIS MAKES NO SENSE!!!

Beauty (from Bo-Bo-Bo): Then you do NOT want to travel with Bobobo. Or Don Patch either, he might be even stupider.

Bobobo and Don Patch: Ouch.

Piranha Plant: Stop it. I’m not really your father, but all Piranha Plants are related somehow. We reproduce the same as Earth plants, through pollination. And you’re just a mutant.

Petey: Oh. Ouch. Have you guys been around since SMB?

Piranha Plant: Yep.

Princess Shroob: Shouldn’t you have known those two answers, Petey? Are you part of SMBVUARF?

Piranha Plant: Yes. Red forks are EEEEEEEEEEEEVIL!!!

Everyone: …

Touché: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

(They do some weird secret handshake, then high-five, even though Piranha Plant doesn’t have hands. Lame.)

Petey: How do we see stuff if we don’t have eyes?

Piranha Plant: We can sense stuff telepathically. Same with hearing. It’s weird, but it works for me.

Petey: I’m learning so much!

Princess Shroob: Kill me. Why are some of you weak to fire, and others weak to thunder?

Piranha Plant: Well, that’s to do with coloring. In RPGs, blue Piranha Plants are weak to fire, and red are weak to thunder. It’s all to do with different levels of special chlorophyll. Red chlorophyll gives us fire resistance, while blue gives us thunder resistance, but it makes us weak to the opposite element. It depends on where we live. If we live in a hot place, we adapt to have red chlorophyll in our bodies. If we live in a place where there are regular storms, we need thunder resistance, so we adapt to have blue chlorophyll. Get all that?

Princess Shroob: Yes.

Petey: No. What’s Joshua up to?

***

(Joshua and Jr. Troopa are fighting in the middle of Yoshi Village.)

Jr. Troopa: Mommy…

Joshua: Meteor Mash!

Jr. Troopa: Looks like Jr. Troopa’s blasting off again!

DING!

Jesse, James, and Meowth: Our line!

Joshua: SILENCE! Zap Cannon!

Team Rocket: Looks like Team Rocket’s blasting off again!

DING!

Joshua: And now, to answer some fan mail! Let’s see… From Shady Parakoopa…

(Inferno appears.)

Inferno: He’s not suing, is he?

Joshua: Nah, he’s not smart enough, according to his Interviews. So let’s see here… What species am I? Duh, I’m human. 14 years old, if you want to get technical. The only reason I can use magic, is because I’m super smart, and I stole my clone, Josh Koopa’s, wand. He’s so dumb, he doesn’t even know it’s gone. Anyone got a question for me or my crew members? Email me!

***

Petey: Pointless. So, how can we move underground and warp from one place to another?

Piranha Plant: Our roots are free to move; they’re not fixed. This allows us to move very quickly underground and “warp” from one place to another.

Princess Shroob: That’s stupid. Audience time. Seat 75!

Yoshi: Can I get interviewed next?

Crump: Sure, and I’ll do it!

Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Nacho: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Princess Shroob: Got a question?

Yoshi: Is there anything you guys DON’T eat?

Piranha Plant: This from the guy who eats Goombas. Even WE don’t eat Goombas!

Petey: I do.

Crump: And me.

Green (from Zap Cannon’s Interviews): Same here.

Everyone: 0_0

King Boo: Cannibal.

Touché: Idiots.

Engarde: Morons.

Piranha Plant: We’re not known for eating minions of Bowser’s: Koopas, Goombas, Dry Bones, Boos, Koopatrols, etc. But hey, I sort of like Lakitu clouds…

(John drops the camera and flies away.)

Petey: Come back here, coward!

John: NEVAH!

Piranha Plant: I was kidding… My favorite dish is Fuzzy, though. Mmm… Tastes like chicken!

Shady: Really?

Shady eats a Fuzzy in the audience.

Shady: Needs salt.

Piranha Plant: I’m watching my intake, personally.

Shady: Is that a fancy way of saying you’re on a diet?

Piranha Plant: Yes.

Shady: Then just say it.

Petey: Seat -4!

Princess Shroob: That’s King Boo.

King Boo: Oh. Well… What are Putrid Piranhas?

Piranha Plant: Piranha Plants who have gained poison breath by eating something poisonous, such as cyanide, or even part of a Poison Pokey.

Princess Shroob: Seat 36!

Sushie: *breathes in*

Shady: MARIO PARTNER!!! MUST KILLLLLLLLLL!!! AGAIN!!!

(He beats Sushie to a bloody pulp. She dies.)

Petey: Pointless. Seat ONLY FAN!

Princess Shroob: When’d we get word seats?

Engarde: We didn’t. That guy just wrote ONLY FAN on his seat.

Petey: What’s he the only fan of?

Engarde: Joshua’s FF, Mega Mario Madness.

(Joshua appears.)

Joshua: DIE!

(Joshua beats up Engarde.)

Truly Pathetic Viewer: What about Frost Piranhas?

Piranha Plant: Piranha Plants who have adapted to extremely low temperatures. Pale Piranhas are trying to camouflage themselves in Boggly Woods, and Lava Piranha has adapted to extreme heat.

(Joshua clobbers Truly Pathetic Viewer, then shoots him out of a cannon back to Mega Mario Madness.)

Joshua: You guys didn’t do anything stupid while I was away, did you?

Petey: Crump agreed to interview Yoshi.

Joshua: I’m doing it. He’s not. I haven’t interviewed since Noki Bay.

Crump: Aww… End transmission!

(Suddenly, they're pulled inside a wall of twilight, including John! DAN, DAN, DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!! Here’s what they are now:)

Joshua: Monochrome version of himself
Inferno: Pendulum Ghost
John: Pidgit
Shady: Feather
Techno Guy: Twilit Ludwig
Engarde: Lion cub with a spear through his head. Seriously.
Touché: Goldfish
Petey: Cockroach
King Boo: Chair
Crump: Doughnut
Princess Shroob: Twilit Peach

(Joshua sits down on a chair.)

Joshua: Well, that was stupid.

Petey: I CAN’T FIND KING BOO!!! PANIC!!!

King Boo: Joshua’s sitting on me.

Petey: Oh. Why am I a cockroach?

King Boo: Get off me.

Joshua: Silence, boofus! (Heh, he’s a Boo and a doofus. So I called him a boofus. Classic.)

John: Aw man, I can’t throw Spiny eggs anymore.

(John uses psychic powers and throws Joshua against a wall.)

Joshua: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- Ow.

John: I like it.

Princess Shroob: WHY AM I PRETTY?! I HATE PRETTY!!!

Shady: Could be worse.

Princess Shroob: How?

Shady: You could be a feather.

(Joshua uses his wand and teleports everyone out of the twilight. Everyone is changed back except John, who is now a Pidgit with a Lakitu cloud.)

John: Best of both worlds. Sweeeet… And I can throw Spiny eggs again!

Joshua: Well… that was pointless.

Iggy: I agree!

(Inferno blows fire and kills Iggy.)

Joshua: Just end this trainwreck.

Shady: Far as I know, this Interview was just an excuse to begin answering stupid fanmail questions and change John’s species.

Joshua: Silence, non-believer!

Shady: …

END TRANSMISSION

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