KLYDE interviews STUFFY THE DOLPHIN

By Dry K. Bones

Whamek: Hmmm... I wonder where Klyde, my ignorant and female companion-obsessed brother, wanders at this time? Most curious...

(Klyde bangs open the door to the house, sopping wet, with his clothes torn and bitten.)

Whamek: Wow! ... .Why didn't you interview with us last week?

Klyde: Why? ... WHY? WHHHHYYYYYYYYY?! YOU TRAPPED ME IN A CAGE WITH A HOMICIDAL GHOST! YOU FREAK!

Whamek: Why must you insult me so?

Klyde: Do you listen to ANYTHING I say?

Whamek: ... Is that a challenge?

Klyde: ARGH!!!

(Klyde storms from the living room to the bathroom, where he sees Drake brushing his teeth... well, his dragon costume's teeth.)

Klyde: ... What the Fly Guy are you doing?

Drake: Hey! Obstacle Guy, my brutha! Why weren't you at Interviews last week?

Klyde: ... WHAMEK ALMOST KILLED ME!

Drake: No need to get snappy.

He continues brushing.

Klyde: Why are you brushing your stupid costume's teeth?

Drake: ... What costume?

Klyde: Have you completely lost your touch with reality?

Drake: ... Is that a challenge?

Klyde: I HATE THIS FAMILY!

(Klyde storms out of the house wearing a jacket.)

A few days later...

(The bros. are sitting at a huge table. Klyde is fuming while Whamek starts swatting at a fly.)

Drake: Alrighty! Who's gonna interview today?

Sparlunk: Wh-Whamek...

Whamek: I vote for me, myself, and I.

Drake: You cannot vote thrice.

Whamek: Fine. I vote for me.

Klyde: (muttering) Idiots...

Drake: Klyde? Who do you choose?

Klyde: Whamek.

Drake: Klyde it is, then!

Whamek: Yippee!

Klyde: Wait, what?

Drake: Hurry up and find someone to interview!

Klyde: But everyone voted on Kamek Guy!

Drake: ... Is that a challenge?

Klyde: YOU GUYS ARE SUCH COMPLETE MORONS! I'M LEAVING THIS HOUSE, AND NOT COMING BACK FOR ANOTHER WEEK!!!

(Klyde leaves the house, screaming in anger. Everyone else stares.)

Drake: ... Would you classify that as a challenge?

----

(Klyde stands in front of a camera with a microphone. He is in front of a huge aquarium tank.)

Klyde: Welcome to the PRIME KLYDE POWER HOUR! Where I do successful Interviews, unlike my siblings!

(The cameraman, a Pink Boo, picks his nose, and aims the camera upward.)

Klyde: ... Down here, ignoramus. Good. Today, I'm interviewing the star of Wario: Master of Disguise, STUFFY THE DOLHPHIN!!!

(A dolphin wearing a fancy crown leaps from the tank, and lands back in, splashing the audience.)

Audience Goomba: Eek! My favorite shoes are wet!

Klyde: Anyway... STUFFY! If you're the 64th, how old is Dolphinia?

Stuffy: GOO-WONG! Since Plit was created.

Klyde: ... Really? That would mean you've been here for millions of years. Not to mention that you would be more intelligent than mankind, as all other creatures were primitive during that time.

Stuffy: Yep. We Dolphins have an incredibly long lifespan. And we're smarter, no doubt. We've been plotting the overthrow of your pathetic society for centuries.

Klyde: Uh... *gulp* Okay. Do you have siblings?

Stuffy: Pfft. Duh. There's Buffy the Dolphin, who prefers bodybuilding to the throne, and that afro guy. He's the middle child.

Klyde: Do you have a wife? I mean, with Fluffy the Dolphin and all....

Stuffy: Naturally. Plushy the Dolphin. Fluffy is our son.

Klyde: What about all those different Fluffies? Surely you have more children. You summoned an unlimited supply!

Stuffy: Those were clones.

Klyde: You have... clones of your kids?

Stuffy: Sure do. I mean, you guys have a Clone Machine, right? We developed that tech DECADES ago!

Klyde: ... *mumble*showoff*mumble* Now, each time Cosmic Wario shot a blue orb, the enemies turned into ghosts or solid foes. Whazzup wit tat?

Stuffy: A couple of gentlemen gave me that technology once I agreed to help them. They had some Italian name... something to do with food....

Klyde: Carpaccio and Cannoli?

Stuffy: I think so.

Klyde: All right, FINAL QUESTION! I don't do audience questions, cuz that's lame. STATE YOUR GAME, LEVEL, AND BATTLE STRATEGY!

Stuffy: YES, SIR! I'm from Wario: Master of Disguise for the DS! I was on Episode 8: When Dolphins Ruled the Earth! I appeared with Count Cannoli and trapped the infamous Purple Wind inside my chambers! I quickly swam to an arena, where Wario defeated me by closing up the floor when I leaped from the water! He then punched me repeatedly! I attempted to knock him into the water, where he would float back to the beginning! Muahahaha! He had to hit me 6 times, in various forms, to defeat me! I also came with AWESOME fight music! Though not as good as Cannolis's.

Klyde: That dude was da bomb.

Stuffy: Werd.

Klyde: Well, that's it! Now into the sewers!

Stuffy: Wha-?

(Klyde shoves Stuffy down a sewer grate. As the equipment is being taken down, Klyde approaches his brothers.)

Klyde: See? I told you I could do better Interviews than you nimrods!

Drake: It's all right, Klyde! We forgive you!

Klyde: ... WHAT? No, I was mocking you!

Drake: Awwww... We love you too, Bro! GROUP HUG!

(Sparlunk, Drake, and Whamek all hug their brother.)

Klyde: Get offa me, you freaks!

-----

(Everyone's sitting in their living room again.)

Drake: Well, that worked out for the best! I even got this sweet plushie!

(Drake holds up a stuffed Fluffy the Dolphin.)

Drake: It's so adorable! Listen!

(Drake pulls the string in the back of his toy.)

Stuffed Fluffy: I'm Dolph-tastic!

Sparlunk and Whamek: Awwwwwwwww! It's so cute!

Klyde: Imbeciles.

(Everyone leaves the room except for Klyde, who picks up the toy.)

Klyde: Dumb toy. What else can you say?

(Klyde pulls the string.)

Fluffy: I'm going to kill you!

Klyde: WHAT? Uh... Did anybody else hear that? *gulp* I must be imagining things...

He pulls again.

Fluffy: An angry and vengeful soul lives inside of me!

Klyde: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

(Drake rushes in.)

Drake: What's wrong?

Klyde: This-this-this doll says it's gonna get me!

Drake: Hmmm...

Drake pulls the string.

Fluffy: I'm nothing but a harmless stuffed toy!

Drake: It's okay. You were just hearing things!

Klyde: But... but...

(Drake leaves.)

Klyde: Uh...

He pulls again.

Fluffy: Everyone's gonna think you're crazy! Eyahahaha!

Klyde: GYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

TRANSMISSION PWNED!

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