KING DOOPLISS interviews KOOPA STRIKER

By King Doopliss

(King Doopliss, Cloaked Figure, Lemmy, and the cameraBlooper from last time are seen in a dark room, doing the good cop bad cop thing.)

Lemmy (Good Cop): Please sign the contract.

Blooper: Nope.

King Doopliss (Bad Cop): Sign the contract or I’ll post embarrassing pictures of you on the Internet.

Blooper: Still no, I know what you do to people who work for you.

Cloaked Figure (Random fat cop who steals all the doughnuts): You get free coffee and doughnuts.

Blooper: I’m on a diet.

Cloaked Figure: I should kill you right now.

Lemmy: I’ll give you your own section on the site.

Blooper: Which one?

Lemmy: … Lemmy's Life.

Blooper: Please just kill me now!

Lemmy: Okay, so it’s not the most popular topic. Sorry I’m too busy to post anymore.

Morton: Wedding Cake!

King Doopliss: What the?! Where did you come from?!

Lemmy: Morton, go away or I’ll take Morton’s Basics…

Morton: You wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Lemmy: And you’ll get Lemmy’s Life.

Morton: Dear DAD! Not that!

Lemmy: Leave!

(Morton jumps threw a wall. His scream is heard.)

King Doopliss: Hey, aren’t we on the 30th floor?

Lemmy: Yep.

King Doopliss: Neat! But back to business, sign the contract or I’ll have Cloaked Figure forge your signature in your blood.

Blooper: Yeah right, he wouldn’t….

(Cloaked Figure holds up a copy of George Washington’s signature. He then copies it exactly. He then holds up a check of Bloopers.)

Blooper: -be… able… to… do… that… -_-‘ Give me a pen.

(He signs the contract.)

Blooper: I hate you all.

King Doopliss: We hear that a lot. Well, it’s time for us to go to work.

(King Doopliss, Lemmy, Cloaked Figure, and Blooper jump down a conveniently placed warp pipe, and pop out of a pipe on King Doopliss’ stage.)

King Doopliss: Cloaked Figure pull, the chain!

Cloaked Figure: Okay!

Lemmy: What chain?

(Cloaked Figure pulls a chain and a Koopa Striker falls from the ceiling.)

Koopa Striker: Air! Sweet, sweet air!

King Doopliss: Breathe later, I’m interviewing you now.

Koopa Striker: And if I say no?

(Cloaked Figure pulls out a chainsaw and saws a melon in half, then beats it with a hammer.)

Koopa Striker: So… when do we start?

King Doopliss: Now.

Blooper: Lights, Camera, Action!

King Doopliss: Hello, and welcome to King Doopliss’ Carnival…

Audience: YAY!

King Doopliss: …of Education!

Audience: Noooooooooooooooo! Kill us instead!

King Doopliss: How about no. Today I interview some crazy hobo.

Koopa Striker: I’m not a hobo!

King Doopliss: Whatever you say, ballerina.

Koopa Striker: I’m a soccer-playing Koopa!

King Doopliss: Teacher. So why do you kick a shell around instead of a ball?

Koopa Striker: Soccer! We didn’t have any soccer balls so we used some of our spare shells that we weren’t using.

King Doopliss: But what were you planning on doing once you needed those shellss, ice cream man?

Doopliss: Ice cream!

(Cloaked Figure hits Doopliss with the hammer.)

Koopa Striker: Soccer! We really didn’t think that far ahead.

King Doopliss: So how come you’re only in Super Paper Mario, Koopa Chair?

Koopa Striker: ... Okay… um… We live in the Bitlands, which appeared only in Super Paper Mario.

King Doopliss: Do you plan on appearing in any more games, candyman?

Koopa Striker: I hate you. Yes, I hope I return in another Mario game.

King Doopliss: Did you work for Bowser, garbageman?

Koopa Striker: Stop that. Yes, we worked for Bowser.

King Doopliss: Time for the audience to ask boring questions. Seat 12.

Toad: Why is my seat a roller coaster car?

King Doopliss: So I can do this.

(He presses a button and the car goes flying off though a wall.)

King Doopliss: Seat 36.

Goomba: Um…

King Doopliss: If you ask why your seat is a strength test game, I’ll test my strength.

Goomba: Why do you guys always come in pairs of two?

Koopa Striker: Because we don’t like practicing by ourselves.

King Doopliss: Now that I’ve had at least one audience question, the audience will now go “Learn”. Mwhahahahaha!

Audience: Noooooooooooooooo!

Koopa Striker: I’m out of here!

(Cloaked Figure knocks him out with the hammer from before.)

King Doopliss: Where's Ludwig anyways? I haven’t seen him all Interview.

(Ludwig can be seen playing the educational video games.)

King Doopliss: I have no comment.

Cloaked Figure: Same.

Lemmy: You took the words right from my mouth.

Blooper: Um… Bad news. I just noticed I forgot to take the lense cap off the camera.

King Doopliss: Great… Time for you to learn.

Blooper: Noooooooooooooooo!

Lemmy: NOW GET OUT OF HERE!

Will this cameraBlooper ever work out?

King Doopliss: Who said that?

Will Cloaked Figure ever get more line?

Cloaked Figure: Hey, that voice is right! I get very few lines.

Will King Doopliss ever do a double Interview?

Lemmy: Seriously, where’s this voice coming from?

Will they ever figure out where my voice is coming from?

Ludwig: Quiet! I’m playing educational video games!

Will I ever stop asking questions?

King Doopliss: Apparently not.

Will the author ever stop this Interview that is already 3 pages long?

King Doopliss’ Creator: Silence, you fool!

Will this ever end?

King Doopliss’ Creator: That’s it!

(Lighting strike the voice 12 times, then a cow falls and lands on it somehow.)

King Doopliss’ Creator: NOW GET OUT OF HERE! For real this time, I mean it. Get out of here before I make you learn too.

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