In Drake Guy's room...

Drake Guy: Dang it dang it dang it!

(Whamek dashes in.)

Whamek: What, Bro of mine?

Drake Guy: I am... I am... POOR!

(Lightning flashes.)

Whamek: ... No freaking DUH. You spent every last cent on that stupid golden toilet!

Drake: DON'T CALL RHONDA STUPID! *pets toilet* It's okay, girl, he didn't mean it.

Whamek: Well, find a way to get money!

(He starts watching Drake's TV.)

Whamek: Ugh. I hate commercials. How do they keep these things up?

Drake: ...!!!

(-----)

Drake: Well, I finally afforded the rent for an interviewing stage!

(He starts drinking Chuckola Cola.)

Klyde: How'd ya do that? You've been at the comp all week.

Drake: Let's just say we're gonna attract plenty of mail.

(He finishes his cola.)

Drake: Ah! That is GOOD soda! Ya wanna know the best part?

Klyde: ... What?

Drake: They now come in sixpacks! Available for a short time! Buy now!

(Everyone gasps and drops their glasses. They're in the kitchen, just to let you knwo. Sparlunk vomits.)

Klyde: You sold us out, didn't you?!

Whamek: CURSE YOU, PRODUCT PLACEMENT!

Drake: Relax... That song rocks! Didja know it is now available for bargain price at any pharmacy?

Whamek: *bangs head on wall* Make it stop!

Klyde: Augh! Drake, this better not interfere with our Interview!

Drake: Of course not! ... Do you guys know that 65 percent percent of children are malnourished? Luckily there's Chuckie Cola to cure that, with tons of vitamin C!

Klyde: *groan*

(-----)

Drake: Welcome, folks! This is...

(A neon sign drops down from the ceiling of the studio.)

Chick Gals: THE DRAKE SHOW!

Drake: Boo-yah! Now, have a warm welcome for that Bowser minion-

(Cursing is heard behind the curtain.)

Drake: -KOOPA KID!!!

(The audience, a bunch of hotel workers, clap unenthusiastically. For some odd reason, they all have sunglasses and earpieces. Koopa Kid comes out and sits down.)

Koopa Kid: *grumble...* I hate you all...

Drake: What was that?

Koopa Kid: Nothin'.

Drake: Now, Koopa Kid, why do you always disobey Master Bowser and screw up a lot in Mario Party 7 with the whole Koopa Kid space and desert board event?

Koopa Kid: ... Do Lemmy and Iggy mess up?

Drake: Yes.

Koopa Kid: Then of course I do.

Drake: ... I don't see the connection.

Koopa Kid: Of course not, because you're a retard.

Drake: What?

Koopa Kid: Nothin'.

Drake: ... Anyway, what minions work under you?

Koopa Kid: Spider Boss, her kids, and this freaky moth thing called Mothion.

Drake: Interesting. Most of Bowser's underlings don't get people under them.

Koopa Kid: My DAD, you are a moron!

Drake: What? What is it?

(Koopa Kid jumps in front of the camera.)

Koopa Kid: ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?!

(He shakes the camera.)

Koopa Kid: I AM A KOOPALING!!! IN ALL MY YEARS OF BEING INTERVIEWED, NOBODY HAS ASKED ME THAT!!!

Drake: Gasp!

Audience: GASP!

Camera Dude: DUDE GASP!

Interns: GAS- HEY! WE HAVE NAMES!

Viewers at Home: GASPETH!

(Several audience members vomit, while some scream and drop cans of cola. Some gag.)

Drake: But... but... but...

Koopa Kid: Whaaaaaaat? You haven't noticed how ridiculously alike to Bowser I am?

Drake: I just thought you were a clone.

Koopa Kid: CLONE? We don't even HAVE technology like that! And magic doesn't work!

Drake: But... you're just so GENERIC! I mean, you look so much like your... uh... father, and your name is just-

Koopa Kid: I TAKE AFTER MY MOM'S SIDE! I am the ONLY one to take from Clawdia's side, and THIS is how I get treated! Yes, I look like Bowser! That's cuz I'm his KID! DUH! And my mom meant for people to call me by a nickname!

Drake: But other Koopalings are named after singers!

Koopa Kid: SO AM I!!! My REAL name, which I am rarely called, is K.K.!!! Ya know, the intitals for Koopa Kid? K.K. is a singer in another video game! AUGH! YOU PEOPLE ARE SO DENSE!

Drake: I must know more! This is a scientific masterpiec-

(The camera cuts off.)

(TRANSMISSION HALTED!)

Drake: ... Eh? What happened?

(Everybody's still in the studio, but all the machines are scrambled. Suddenly, smoke piles onto the stage.)

K.K.: NO! They're *cough* trying to gas us out! PEOPLE MUST KNOW THE TRU-

(He faints.)

Drake: *cough* To be *cough* CONTINUED!!!

Intern Guy: I'm still *cough* getting promoted, right?

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