monday100: Ahem. This is the first ever interview by me, so be quiet, pay attention, and listen carefully, or else you'll get eaten by Mr. Mustard.
 
Mr. Mustard: And you ALL look delicious!
 
Mario: Cheese!
 
monday100: Okay... Well, before we begin, lettuce introduce the master Magikoopa himself, Kamek!
 
Kamek: Thank you.
 
monday100: Ok.  First question. What happened to you? You haven't been shown in ages. Now it's Kammy Koopa.
 
Kamek: Ah yes, that.  Well, it is a long story, filled with sadness, grief, pain, misery-
 
monday100: Okay, okay. That's enough, Kamek. Just give us the short version.
 
Kamek: Fine. Basically, Bowser got tired of me trying to keep him safe, because I padded everything (even his spikes) and kept him from trying to capture Peach so that dolt Mario-
 
Mario: Cheese!!!
 
Kamek: -so that dolt Mario wouldn't beat King Bowser up again. So he-
 
monday100: SHORTER VERSION! Unless you want to be eaten by Mr. Mustard.
 
Kamek: *grumble* Fine. So Bowser threw me in the dungeon and now Kammy Koopa works for him. That short enough?
 
monday100: No. Mr. Mustard, you may eat him.
 
Mr. Mustard: I already did.
 
monday100: Ok, good. But did you remember to swallow him with the camera so we can still interview him?
 
Mr. Mustard: Yes, Master.
 
monday100: Activate stomach camera 98 million!
 
Kamek: Get me out of here. Or else I'll blow this thing up!
 
monday100: If you do that, you'll die an EXTREMELY painful death. If you comply, I'll let you out. I promise.
 
Kamek: Fine.
 
monday100: Okay, second question. How old are you?
 
Kamek: 10,000 next Tuesday.
 
monday100: Now it's time for Mr. Mustard's questions. Mr. Mustard?
 
Mr. Mustard: Okay, monday. Kamek, how painful is it inside my stomach?
 
Kamek: I don't see how that is relevant-
 
monday100: Answer the question or I won't let you out.
 
Kamek: It is not that painful. It is uncomfortable, though.
 
Mr. Mustard: Okay. My last question. Why are you so like a normal Magikoopa? You don't look different, you have the same attacks…
 
Kamek: I don't see the need to change my appearance. Also, don't tell anyone this, but I use this to evade the law by saying that someone else is Kamek. Once the "trial" is done, I can't be tried.
 
Police Toad: He confessed! GET HIM!!!
 
monday100: NOT SO FAST!!! YOU WILL NOT INTERUPT THIS INTERVIEW!!! BEGONE, OUTSIDERS!!! MR. MUSTARD!!! GET THEM!!!
 
Mr. Mustard: Okay, Master.

(He eats all the Police Toads.)
 
Police Toad Captain: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
 
monday100: You put them in your fast digest stomach, not Interview stomach, right?
 
Mr. Mustard: Yes, Master.
 
monday100: Okay. Now it's time for Mario's first question.
 
Mario: Cheese cheeese chesseeee cheeeeesssseeee?
 
monday100: (whispering to Kamek) Just say yes.
 
Kamek: Yes.
 
Mario:  :)
 
monday100: Okay, now for the audience members questions. Seat WEAKESTCREATUREVER. Your question, please.
 
Goomba: Well, why did you never magic us Goombas? It was only Koopas and strong people.
 
Kamek: That's not true! I created the Goomba King's crown. That made him ten times stronger, bigger, and gave him total control over all Goombas. In fact, here's the crown.
 
Goomba: THE SHINY!!!  I MUST OBEY THE SHINY!!!  I MUST DIE FOR THE SHINY!!!

(The Goomba kills himself.)
 
monday100: Okay.  Seat STUPIDMORONIDIOTKING.
 
Bowser: What are you doing out of my dungeon?
 
Kamek: Uh... uh... The Koopatrol let me out.
 
Bowser: Kammy, remind me to put Kamek's guard Koopatrol in the dungeon.
 
Kammy: Yes, King Bowser sir.
 
monday100: Okay. Last audience question. Seat STUPIDGOOMBAGIRLWHOSMARRIEDTOGOOMBARIO.
 
Goombella: Kamek, why doesn't the Goomba King's crown affect me or Goombario?
 
Kamek: That is because you are not mindless, weak zombies. You are both slightly sentient, are stronger than normal Goombas, and have a special name. Goombas with names are not effected by some things that affect normal ones, just like Koopas and Lakitus.
 
monday100: Okay. Time to go. Close curtains-
 
Kamek: What about me?
 
monday100: What about you?
 
Kamek: You said you'd let me go.
 
monday100: I did. Very well. I'll let you go when you are all bones. I could always do with another Dry Magikoopa. A Dry Kamek would be even better. Mwa ha ha ha ha!

(He snaps his fingers. Suddenly smoke surrounds monday100 and he dissappears.)
 
Kamek: NO!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!
 
(Mr. Mustard falls through a plothole.)
 
Kamek: How can this have a plothole? This has no plot!

(Kamek dies.)
 
Mario: CHEESE-

(He dies.)
 
Audience Members: HEY! What about us? Are you gonna just let us rot here?
 
Actually yes. After you've all rotted, I'll pick the juiciest bits, and let my vulture bretheren take the rest.
 
THE END OF THIS CRAZY INTERVIEW IS RIGHT HERE, AS IN NOW, AS AT THIS MOMENT, AS IN HERE, AS IN THIS DIMENSION, AS NOT UN-RIGHT HERE, AS EXISTING AT THIS SPOT, AS IN RIGHT NOW, RIGHT HERE, AT THIS MOMENT, SO GOODBYE, AS IN I'M LEAVING, AS AT THIS MOMENT, AS I WON'T BE HERE, AS IN NOT ANNOYING YOU, AS IN BOTHERING YOU, AS IN MAKING YOU INSANE AS IN-
 
(monday100 reappears in a cloud of smoke.)

monday100: SHUT UP, MORTON!

(He disappears again.)
 
T3H 3ND!

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