Ridley: Hello! Today I’m interviewing Mimi.

(A second Ridley walks onstage.)

Ridley 2: Hey!!! Stop copying me, Mimi!

Ridley 1: Hey yourself! I’m Ridley, and you’re just an imposter!

Goombella: Looks like we need a quiz game to know which Ridley is which.

Ridley 2: ARG! You moron! WE DON’T NEED A #%^$^&@ QUIZ SHOW! I’M THE REAL RIDLEY!

Goombella: Okay, I seriously think Ridley 2 is real.

Ridley 2: OF COURSE I’M REAL!!!

Kylie Koopa: I KNOW HOW TO TELL WHO'S REAL! I LOVE YOSHIS!

Ridley 1: So you like Yoshis?

Ridley 2: ARG! %$#&^%(**(&^^&%#@%#$^&$%^&@^$#^@#^%$&&^^(&*)&(%&^!@$#%$#%^@$#!!!

Goombella: Yeah, judging from his reaction, Ridley 2 is real. Man, that is the longest stream of cuss words I’ve ever seen.

Ridley 1: Darn!

(She transforms back to Mimi.)

Mimi: So interview me!

Ridley: Yeah, all right. I don’t think Goombella is going to regain consciousness soon, and Petey is on some island. I think it was Delfino. Anyways, let the Interview commence!!!

Mimi: Shaddup and interview me!

Ridley: Yeah, whatever. So, what is your true form?

Mimi: This one right here!

Ridley: All right, but earlier you said it was the spider thing. Explain. Now.

Mimi: I said that 'cause I hoped it would creep out Mario and his buddies. It… didn’t work.

Ridley: Why did you have gears on the side of your spider thing?

Mimi: To help make it creepy.

Ridley: Really… Are you sure you’re not just a robot?

Mimi: Yes I am sure I’m not a robot!

Ridley: Right. So… Why are you just a Doopliss copy?

Doopliss: I’M ORIGINAL!

Mimi: Both of you shut up!

(She starts transforming into the spider thing. Ridley turns white.)

Ridley: W-w-w-w-why c-can't y-y-you d-d-do t-that in a p-puff of s-smoke?

Mimi: I like scaring my hapless victims before I end their games! MIMIMIMIMI!!!

(Ridley turns paler still.)

Ridley: M-M-M-M-M-MOMMY!!!

(He runs into a bathroom.)

Mimi: AND YOU, DOOPLISS!

Doopliss: … AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! S-S-SPIDER!

(He hides in the bathroom with Ridley.)

Audience: AAAAAAAH!

Kylie Koopa: YOSHIS!

(Mimi showers Kylie in rubees.)

Mimi: INTERVIEW ME OR I’LL EAT YOU!

Ridley: O-o-o-o-only if you s-s-s-s-s-stop being s-s-s-s-scary!

Mimi: Fine…

(She goes back to normal. Ridley comes out of the bathroom with a yellow Doopliss.)

Ridley: Fine!

Mimi: Why's the ghost thing yellow?

Ridley: I dunno.

Doopliss: Oh phoo, I hate having to be the laundry.

(He jumps into a washing machine.)

Mimi: I really hope that one of you spilled lemonade.

Ridley: *shrug* I dunno. I didn’t. Anyways… AUDIENCE QUESTIONS! Seat 72.

Popple: How come you’ve got a different outfit every time you appear?

Mimi: Because I care about fashion. Unlike you, stripey-shirt.

Ridley: Seat babybarfgreen.

Luigi: WHY DO YOU TORTURE ME?

Ridley: Because you’re an accursed Mario Bro. I dislike Mario more, and he can’t even come in. NOW ASK A QUESTION BEFORE I LOCK YOU OUT!

Luigi: Hmf… Is it true that you have a crush on the Count?

Mimi: It’s a secret.

Ridley: Answer. Now.

Mimi: Fine… It's… true…

Ridley: Seat SECURITYBREACH!

Waluigi: WAH! YOU’RE SCARY!

Mimi: Thank you.

Ridley: SECURITY!!!

(Rawk Hawk grabs Waluigi and takes him far, far, far away.)

Ridley: Seat 73.

Goomba Guy: Where do you get rubees?

Mimi: Far away. I can’t tell you where though. OR ELSE YOU’D TAKE THEM!

*DING*

Ridley: Wha…?

Doopliss: Ah…

(Doopliss walks out of the washing machine.)

Doopliss: End Transmission.

Ridley: ONLY I CAN SAY THA-

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