Two days after the Welderburg Interview...

(The Dryest Bones is in jail.)

The Dryest Bones: I didn't know that Phoenix Wright could be so... painful.

(The Dryest Bones is seen being beaten up by a briefcase, a flamethrower, and coffee. Phoenix Wright is throwing them all at him.)

The Dryest Bones: Yep.. .I didn't know Welderburg had such a good lawyer.

Meanwhile, at Fort Francis...

Chuck: BUT WE HAVE TO SAVE BOSS!

Kamek: I hate him.

Yishotimi: He killed me!

Francis: I'M ON THE CRYSTAL CUP! ... CURSE YOU, DIDDY KONG!

MK-39: Bzzt...

Francis: He's deactivated... HEY! DON'T GIVE ME A RED CARD!

Chuck: FINE! I'LL GO MYSELF!

(Chuck leaves.)

Kamek: Five bucks says he doesn't come back.

Francis: YOU'RE ON!

(Chuck bursts into jail with a battering ram. However...)

Crimewave Clyde: I'M FREE!

Chuck: Aren't you supposed to be on Earth?

Crimewave Clyde: Koopa gave me an extension. I HATE HIM!

Chuck: He's called Bowser now.

Clyde: NO, IT'S KOOPA!

The Dryest Bones: WHO CARES?! THE INTERVIEW SHOW IS ON A BUDGET, AND WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO GET BACK TO THE STUDIO RIGHT NOW!

Chuck: So now what?

The Dryest Bones: WE RUN AND INTERVIEW THIS POOR SAP WHILE WE'RE DOING IT!

Chuck: Gotcha.

Clyde: I ain't running.

Chuck: Then you'll be put in Bowser... er, Koopa Castle.

Clyde: LAST ONE TO FREEDOM'S A KOOPA TEST SUBJECT!

(All three start running.)

The Dryest Bones: I'll take the camera, and act as the audience. INTERVIEW! NOW!

Chuck: All right. So Clyde, exactly how did you become a criminal?

Clyde: That's Crimewave Clyde as far as you know. As for my genius, I'm happy to say that my family has had that awesome gift since early history.

Billions of years ago, we see a bacteria-like creature that looks like Clyde beating up another bacteria, who gives him what appears to be money. Clydeteria then runs from bacteria in police outfits. Back in the Interview...

Chuck: Wow, that's really... sad.

Clyde: Yeah, well just forget about it. That is, unless you want a gaping hole in your face.

Chuck: EEP! So... exactly how long was your prison sentence?

Clyde: Exactly 12,423 years with no parole.

Chuck: Wouldn't a sentence for life be better?

Clyde: The judge looked like Mario.

Chuck: That explains a lot. Why did you say that another day with those Koopas would be worse than 12,423 years in prison? Bowser...

Clyde: SERIOUSLY, WHO IS THAT BOWSER PUNK?! ALL I KNOW IS KOOPA!

Chuck: Fine, Koopa has tortured a lot worse that what he did to you.

Clyde: Truth be told, I started thinking that same question about forty-five minutes after I went back inside that dank cell of.

Chuck: Now, what exactly did you do to get so many years in jail?

Clyde: Heh, what didn't I do? Robbing people, blowing up stuff, hostage videos, terrorist attacks, the Revolutionary War...

Chuck: Er... The Revolutionary War happened 250 or something years ago.

Clyde: NOT THE POINT! I did it all.

Chuck: All right. So, why didn't you freak out when there were giant turtle people that could breathe fire asking you to teach them how to be hardened criminals?

Clyde: Hey, I hallucinated that my friend in the next cell, Murderspree Mark, was stabbed to death by the Easter Bunny. When I realized it was real, I already had the thought of greed in my mind.

Chuck: Speaking of which, didn't you realize that you were stealing COINS?! They have no monetary value on Earth!

Clyde: Hey, it was money, and that was all that mattered. Besides, I planned on going to some far-off continent there and ruling it with money and my iron fist!

Chuck: And now, time for audience questions. Seat 45!

Rabbid: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Chuck: Wait... How'd we get an audience?

(A HUGE group of random people are chasing The Dryest Bones.)

The Dryest Bones: THIS ANGRY MOB SHOWED UP AFTER I REFUSED TO PAY MY ELECTRIC BILL!

All: YOU DESTROYED OUR HOMES, MELTED OUR LIFE SAVINGS, BLEW UP THE BANK, AND MADE OUR CHILDREN'S EYES BLEED WITH YOUR DUMB STORIES! WE DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY STUPID BILLS!

The Dryest Bones: See? They won't stop nagging me about how much Bill Clinton hates my electricity!

Everyone: -_-

The Dryest Bones: Just pick a seat.

Chuck: Seat COOKIEMOUNTAINISTASTY!

Monty Mole: Yeah, it is. If you could destroy a basketball hoop, then why were you scared of that Boom Boom Bow... Koopa locked you up with?

Clyde: Hey, it looked like a tough cookie, unlike those brats of Koopas. Plus, there was a bomb strapped to my foot at the time! I did what I had to.

Chuck: Seat EXTRAHELPINGS!

Gourmet Guy: MORE FOOD!

Clyde: Hey, if you can stomach that garbage they serve in prison, then you can have my servings.

Chuck: Seat BUHUHUHUHUHUH!

Lord Crump: Buh-huh-huh. Why didn't you escape when Mario and Luigi freed you from Koopa? Buh-huh-huh!

Clyde: Because I knew that insane-os like you existed, and I was broken of my will at the time.

Lord Crump: WHY YOU LITTLE!

(Lord Crump starts strangling Crimewave Clyde. Five seconds later, Crump has been stuffed into a blender.)

Clyde: NEVER go near me!

Chuck: I'll keep that in mind... Seat MOSTLIKELYTOSPENDLIFEINTHEDUNGEON!

Roy: HEY! I WANT A BETTER SEAT!

Chuck: Read off your cue card...

Roy: *sigh* How were you able to put that Bob-omb out?

Clyde: Heh, like I'd ever tell anything to Bully Koopa, you brat!

Roy: JUST SHUT YOUR TRAP AND ANSWER THE QUESTION!

Clyde: I ran in fear so fast that the fuse went out... I mean, I DESTROYED IT WITH MUSCLE!

Roy: YOU LIE!

Clyde: YOU'RE UGLY!

Chuck: YOU'RE BOTH GOING TO BE DEAD IF YOU BOTH DON'T SHUT UP!

(Both get quiet.)

Chuck: Seat KOWABUNGADUDE!

Leonardo: KOWABUNGA, DUDE!

Clyde: This guy took away my screen time... Kill him.

(Clyde turns Leonardo into a basketball with nothing but brute muscle. He then throws him at the rest of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, causing all of them to fly away.)

Chuck: FINAL QUESTION! Seat OOR!

Thwomp: OOR! How could Koopalings steal from Clyde when Clyde didn't have pockets or belongings? OOR!

Clyde: I ripped my clothes and stole stuff.

Chuck: AND THAT'S THE END OF THE INTERVIEW!

(The "End of Chapter" words from Paper Mario appear, only as "End of Interview".)

Clyde: Well, see ya.

The Dryest Bones: NOT SO FAST!

Clyde: You aren't going to kill me, are you?

The Dryest Bones: Me? No. I have something better planned.

A few minutes later, inside a helicoptor with Francis' head on it...

MK-39: HOW DO YOU AFFORD THESE THINGS?!

Francis: Don't ask.

The Dryest Bones: BYE!

(The Dryest Bones pushes Crimewave Clyde out of the door. Fortunately, Clyde lands on a bed. Unfortunately, it's Wendy's.)

Wendy: AAH! CREEPY GUY! GET OUT OF MY BED! LET ME KILL YOU! BUT BUY ME JEWELS FIRST! AND GIVE ME A PRETTY PICTURE! AND MAKE ME FAMOUS!

Clyde: May I please die now... PLEASE! DAD! GRAMBI! BUDDHA! ONE OF YOU GUYS HELP ME!

The Dryest Bones: And that's a wrap. Lemmy, please end this.

Lemmy: END TRANSMISSION. OHMYDAD, WENDY LOOKS...

Transmission Ended

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