(Everything is black. Suddenly somebody hops into view. It's Dimentio.)

Dimentio: "Heheheh… YOUR GAMES ARE ENDED! Ciao!" ... Nah, that won't work. Uh…"TIME FOR YOUR GAMES TO END!" … Ugh, that's even worse…

Kody: Boo.

Dimentio: AAAAAAAAAAAGH!

(Dimentio jumps a mile.)

Dimentio: Wait… WHERE'S THE CEILING?!

*CRASH*

Dimentio: Ow.

(The surrounding area is revealed to be Kody's castle.)

Kody: Yes, hello everybody. I've taken a long hiatus due to some technical problems, and a short fuse... Just don't ask me how I got back here.

Audience: SCIENCE!

Dimentio: Who wants to play Operation?

Toadette: Can I play?

(Everybody stares at Toadette and laughs.)

Kody: Yeah? Well Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care.

(Dimentio cracks an ear of corn over Kody's head.)

Corn: AHHHHH!!! My ear!!!

Kody: Can I PLEASE start the Interview before I lose my sanity?

Dimentio: Nope. I'm an insufferable lunatic.

Kody: That's a big help.

Tira: *OMGGASPSHOCK*

Kody: Oh no…

Tira: SOMEONE TO ANNOY!!!

(Tira squeezes Kody.)

Kody: AHH!!! GETEROFF!!!

(Kody runs around in circles flailing his arms.)

Dimentio: Nah, I like watching you suffer.

(Morton throws a crowbar at Tira's head.)

Tira: Ow.

Dimentio: Aww.

Kody: Wow, Morton finally did something right. Now then, let's start the Interview.

Dimentio: Wait a second! There's no camera crew!

Kody: I don't need them anymore, now that the author simply records this and sends it to Lemmy via Email.

[OI! What did I tell you about letting slip family secrets?!]

Kody: That's not a family secret. It's one of Lemmy's.

(Kody gets hit by a crate… made of titanium.)

Audience: LITHIUM!

Kody: … So Dimentio, why were you hired as one of Bleck's henchmen in the first place?

Dimentio: I feigned unswerving loyalty and devotion to Bleck to get in. Also my magical powers helped too.

Gandalf the White: MAGIC!

(Morton throws another crowbar at Gandalf.)

Kody: And why are you called Dimentio? Because you're demented?

Dimentio: … Actually, partly so. The main reason is that I can slip through dimensions! Watch!

(Dimentio disappears and a second later comes back in through another area in the hall.)

Dimentio: But of course that's only for show.

Kody: Impressive. So you say you're partly demented?

Dimentio: Yes, and I'd rather not go into that.

Kody: But I would. I like to watch people suffer.

Dimentio: Wow. You're almost like me.

Kody: Not really. You're just demented.

Dimentio: … Maybe it's because my overwhelming desire for my own worlds makes me go a little nutty?

Kody: Oh please, no more metaphors…

Tira: Cashews are better than peanuts.

Dimentio: I quite agree.

Audience: BRAZIL NUTS!

Bowser: NUTS IN GENERAL!

Kody: Kody hates you all.

Flavio: Flavio hates you even more!

(Morton starts chucking crowbars like crazy.)

Kody: What's with Morton?

Bowser: Iggy implanted a picture of a wedding cake in his head. He doesn't want to be disturbed– OW! HEY! I'M YOUR FATHER!

(Bowser stomps on Morton.)

Dimentio: Yay! Suffering!

Tira: You said it.

Kody: No more metaphors, as I said. Or I'll bring out Luigi.

Dimentio: NOOO!!!

Kody: … Speaking of Luigi, why did you turn him into Mr. L near the end?

Dimentio: To destroy his friends, what less? All part of my plan!

Kody: Which was?

Dimentio: Well you know how the game goes…

Kody: Actually, no. I haven't played it yet.

Audience: WHA?!

Kody: But I read walkthroughs, and I check gameplay videos on the Internet. So I don't exactly know how the game goes, but bits of it I do know. And since you're so crazy and demented you would be the first character I'd interview, D. Getting back to the Interview… plans?

Dimentio: To take the power of the Chaos Heart, destroy all worlds, and create perfect new ones! Heheheh!

Tira: That sounds like the kind of thing I'd do.

Kody: Get a room, you two. Actually don't, I need Dimentio for the Interview. Tira, you can leave. Try to find the rest of my Interview crew.

Tira: It'll be hard.

Kody: Good. That means double the work for you. Snap to it.

(Tira grumbles and leaves.)

Dimentio: Call me when you get back!

Kody: Interview, back to.

Dimentio: Sorry.

Kody: What did you think about working alongside Mimi and O'Chunks?

Dimentio: They were but pawns in my scheme. I actually meant to turn them against each other but that stupid "love" they had for Bleck worked against me. They didn't care…

(Mario smacks Dimentio in the face and then points at him.)

Dimentio: What the?

Mario: BACON! You are being a waffle!

Dimentio: … And this is supposed to be the guy that defeated me…?

Kody: I like waffles.

Dimentio: …

Kody: Haha. Anyway how do you do that cloning trick? Another one of your magic tricks, I suppose?

Dimentio: It's quite complex, so I didn't use it that often. It involves passing through three dimensional portals at once.

Kody: I see. One thing I'd like to ask you…Do you think you would have fared better if the game system was a true RPG like the previous Paper Mario games?

Dimentio: Are you kidding me? Of course! I would have cleaned his clock!

(Morton goes to throw a clock at Dimentio but Popple steals it.)

Popple: You saw nothing.

(Popple runs away.)

Kody: That was weird. Anyway, audience questions time. And to make my Interviews a bit more popular, I'm going to name the seats this time. Seat IDONTLIKEBEINGWALKEDON.

King Whomp: Why are you such a freak?

Dimentio: I just explained that.

King Whomp: No, him.

Kody: …

(King Whomp explodes in a flaming mess.)

Kody: Awesome, I have pyrokinetic abilities. Seat FRAGMENTOR.

Count Bleck: You traitor! How could you possibly think you could handle the power of the Chaos Heart more than I, Count Bleck?

Dimentio: Because you're a soft-hearted loser. My heart is the one muscle I have that is very strong. You're too mushy.

Count Bleck: Argh, I, Count Bleck, cannot contradict the truth…

Kody: Seat ILIKEPIE.

Dimentio: Oh wait, that's my seat.

Kody: You like pie?

Dimentio: I like to throw them.

(Dimentio hits Kody in the face with a pie.)

Kody: … Mmm, blueberry.

Dimentio: Glad you like it. I prefer raspberry, though.

Kody: Seat MOTHER.

Ness: Do you have psychic abilities?

Dimentio: Yes.

(Dimentio stares at a Heave-Ho, and it suddenly rises up into the air and starts performing midair twists.)

Heave-Ho: ACK!

(It spontaneously combusts.)

Kody: Heh, had to. Seat FLYINGMUSHROOM.

Paragoomba: What in the WORLD was that thing you made Mr. L into in the final boss fight?

Dimentio: Think Brobot with black paint and stilts. And me.

Kody: Seat GHOSTSERVANT.

Bootler: Which do you think is a better choice for a ghoulish reunion: wine or champagne?

Dimentio: Aren't they the same thing?

Bootler: I haven't the slightest idea. I'm too old.

Kody: … You're a ghost.

Bootler: DO NOT REMIND ME!!!

Kody: … Last question. Seat ILIKEHUGEPROFITS.

Rip Cheato: Do you like to swindle?

Dimentio: No. I'd rather create. I want to be DAD.

Kody: And I want a castle made of gold but it's just not in the cards, now is it? Oh wait, I do have a castle made of gold. Finally, this thing is over! Now I'm exhausted…

(Tira comes back in.)

Tira: I couldn't find anybody so I came back. Isn't that great?

Kody: No.

Dimentio: Let's go watch a suspense or sci-fi or horror film!

Tira: Okay!

(They skip out the doors.)

Kody: Freaks.

King Whomp's remains: I know you are but what am I?

Kody: Cannon fodder!

(Kody stuffs his remains in a cannon and fires it… Unfortunately, somehow Kody is caught in the blast and fired off as well.)

Kody: YEEEEEARGH!!!

What will happen to Kody? Where is his Interview crew? Do Dimentio and Tira make an odd couple? Why is Morton obsessed with crowbars? WHY AM I TALKING TO MYSELF?! Erm, find out an answer to one of the questions next Interview!

Corn: Isn't anybody going to fix my ear?!

Popple: You saw nothing. End transmission.

(Popple is hit by a crowbar just as transmission ends.)

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