WACKY interviews GENERAL GUY

By Wacky Koopa and get in my belly

GIMB: Yo, yo, yo. This is MTV Cribs.

Wacky: No it's not.

GIMB: Can I pretend it is?

Wacky: No.

GIMB: Anyway, I am GIMB, or get in my belly.

Wacky: And I am Wacky Koopa.

GIMB: And I have the most interesting thing ever: a belly that can talk.

Belly: And today we are interviewing Hannah Montana.

Hannah Montana: Thank you, weird belly. And now for my hit song "Nobody's Perfect". (singing) 1... 2... 3... 4! Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody has those days.

Wacky: Woah, woah, woah. This is not who I booked. I booked General Guy.

(General Guy walks onstage.)

General Guy: Whazzup!

GIMB: Then what am I supposed to do with Hannah Montana?

Wacky: I don't know! Get her off the stage.

Belly: I'm hungry.

Wacky: Go crazy.

GIMB: GET IN MY BELLY!

(Belly becomes vicious. Hannah Montana screams and runs out of the studio, with GIMB and Belly in pursuit.)

Wacky: Awkward. So let's get to the Interview. General Guy, what are your stats?

General Guy: 40 HP, 4 ATK, 2 DEF

Wacky: Cool. What was your purpose in Paper Mario?

General Guy: To guard the Star Spirit, Muskular.

Wacky: Amazing. So what powered up your lightning bulb?

General Guy: It was Fatt, Watt's older brother. He died when my tank exploded.

Watt: So THAT'S why he hasn't been writing. You monster!

(Watt cries and floats out of the studio.)

Wacky: What were their parents thinking when they named him? Anyway, back to the questions. Why do you have an army of all Shy Guys?

General Guy: Well, I'm a Shy Guy, duh! So I thought it would be wangsta to have an army of all Shy Guys.

Wacky: Wangsta? Is that a typo? Don't you mean gangsta?

General Guy: Actually, no. I actually meant wangsta. Wanna be gangsta.

Wacky: Okay. Time for audience questions. Seat 218.

Roy: So, what was your special ability?

General Guy: I had a tank that could destroy anybody, except for Mario.

Wacky: Seat 007.

James Bond: My name is Bond. "James" Bond.

Wacky: Huh?

(James Bond takes off his face to reveal it is Bowser Jr.)

Bowser Jr: Just kidding. This is a question for Wacky. What happened to Hannah Montana? She's my idol.

Wacky: Well,...

In some alleyway...

Belly: Mmm...That tastes SOOO good.

GIMB: Was she the best person you ever tasted?

Belly: Probably, next to Chris Griffin from Family Guy.

GIMB: Yeah, he was CRAZY GOOD!

Belly: Stop saying that. You sound like the guy from the Pop-Tarts commercial.

GIMB: His belly can talk, too.

Belly: Fine, you can say it one more time.

GIMB: CRAZY GOOD!

Back at the studio...

Wacky: Seat 552.

Mario: CHEESE!

Wacky: Would ya stop saying that? It's getting old.

Mario: Fine. SWISS CHEESE!

(Wacky slaps himself in the head.)

Wacky: Does anybody have an actual question? Seat 129.

Axem Green: Which of Mario's partners do you hate the most?

General Guy: Watt. She could go right through my defenses.

Wacky: Seat 224.

Toad: Is there any chance you will be in another game?

General Guy: I doubt it. Mario kicked me out of my toy box.

Mario: SWISS CHEESE!

General Guy: That's it! Men, TO YOUR BATTLE STATIONS!

(About 200 Shy Guys come into the studio with shotguns and surround Mario.)

General Guy: Ready... Aim... FIRE!

(Shotgun shots go off. Mario screams until he is dead.)

Wacky: You killed Mario.

General Guy: I doubt it. You can't kill the main character of a game.

Wacky: Good point. Seat 379.

Iggy: Which was your least favorite boss to work with?

General Guy: I used to think Lava Piranha because he would always brag that he had a higher ranking. But now that I think about it, I think it's the Koopa Bros.

???: Not so fast.

(The Koopa Bros. jump onto the stage and flash their fingers.)

Red: Here come the Koopa Bros! And we're going to have to beat you up, General Guy.

General Guy: Please, Iggy's three times a challenge than you four are.

Black: Oh really. Name anyone you want. We'll fight 'em.

(Wacky pulls an acorn out of his shell.)

Wacky: How about this acorn?

Green: Okay.

(Wacky pulls out a boxing bell.)

Wacky: *ding ding* FIGHT!

(The Koopa Bros. try to headbutt the acorn, but they miss. Green goes too far, runs into the wall, and gets a nosebleed.)

Green: Ack! A nosebleed!

Red, Black, and Yellow: *gasp* Not that!

(The Koopa Bros. faint)

Wacky: I don't believe it. The Koopa Bros. actually lost to an acorn.

(9/10 of the audience run onstage, pick up the acorn, and start throwing it in the air.)

Audience: ACORN! ACORN! ACORN!

(The audience then carries the acorn out of the studio. All that is left is Wacky, General Guy, the other 1/10 of the audience, the unconscious Koopa Bros, and the camera guy.)

Wacky: That has got to be the strangest thing I have ever seen.

General Guy: What about the Koopa Bros?

Wacky: Ah, GIMB can eat them when he comes back. In the meantime, It's time for... QUESTIONS and ANSWERS! In this game, I ask an audience member to see if they can beat up the interviewee. The question is always the same, but we wait 'til after the fight to see what the answer is. Whoever wins the fight receives a wonderful prize. And the audience member is... Morton!

Morton: What?! This is an outrage, it's wrong, it's not fair, it's-

Wacky: Shut up or I'll disqualify you.

(Amazingly, Morton shuts up. Wacky pulls out the boxing bell from earlier.)

Wacky: *ding ding* FIGHT!

General Guy: Men, one more time!

(The Shy Guys who killed Mario earlier come up and corner Morton.)

Morton: You can't do this to me! I'm part of a royal family. I'm-

General Guy: Ready... Aim... FI-

(Before General Guy can say fire, Morton jumps out the window.)

Shy Guy: I guess he did our job for us.

Wacky: Well, I guess you won, General Guy. Here's your prize: A Maple Super! It restores 10 HP and 10 FP.

(Wacky hands General Guy the Mushroom.)

General Guy: Thanks!

Camera Guy: We're almost out of time.

Wacky: END TRANSMISSION!

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